Best Served Cold
by HappyAuriga
Summary: What if the Dark Lord had granted Snape's wish and spared the girl?
1. Chapter 1

**Best Served Cold**

"Lily?"

"Lily!"

She had never known a headache could be that bad.

"Lily!"

She wished with all her heart the Lily person would already answer to make the man stop the racket.

"Lily!"

It took all of her strength to open her eyes. Perhaps if she helped him find the Lily person he would shut up.

"Thank Merlin! You are awake!"

She stared at the face above her. She knew that face. She only couldn't put her finger on where she had seen it. She blinked.

"Finally," the man continued, ignoring her headache. "I thought he had finished you off unwittingly." He smiled awkwardly. "He's so powerful. It could have happened."

Somebody groaned and it took her a few moments to realise it was she who had made the sound. "Headache," she managed to whisper.

"Of course! Forgive me!" A vial was pressed to her lips. She drank the potion eagerly. A small voice in her head told her it was careless to drink a potion without knowing what it was but she felt so bad she was ready to take the risk. The man sounded like he meant no harm to her.

It was a headache potion and an excellent one. Only a couple of breaths later the pain dulled and she remembered her name. Lily.

"What happened? Where am I?"

The man – Severus – made a face. "He found you but you were spared. You are with me now. As for where we are, I'm not allowed to tell you."

Lily had to think a bit before she remembered who 'he' was. Merlin! She remembered! "Harry!" she cried. "Where is my baby?"

"I'm sorry," Severus didn't look sorry at all.

A jolt of agony shot through Lily. Her baby! Her beautiful little baby boy! Gone! Lost! Murdered!

"You are young," Severus petted her hand. "You can have more children."

"And James?" Lily asked in a small voice.

This time Severus actually smiled. "Gone."

"Dead?" Lily whispered. "Both dead? Why am I here? I should have died with them! Why didn't I die with them?"

"Don't say that, beloved," Severus protested.

"Why didn't the monster kill me, too?" Lily continued, ignoring the man.

Severus held a finger to her lips to stop her. "Don't call him that! He's merciful. You'll learn it soon. I asked him to spare you, and he did. Hush now. You have been asleep for quite a while. I'll bring you something to eat." He stood. "Is there anything you'd like?"

"Whatever," Lily whimpered. She watched the man stand and walk to the door.

He turned to face her before he left the room. "Soup, I think."

Lily nodded. Then she was alone. She whimpered again.

"Harry!"

-x-

Severus returned a quarter hour later. He put a small tray on the bedside table.

"Can you sit? Here, I'll help you," he took Lily by her shoulders and helped her to sit up and lean against a pillow. Once she was seated safely he put the tray in her lap. There was a bowl of soup, a slice of bread, and a glass of water.

The soup, Lily thought, looked like blood.

"Eat up," Severus ordered. "He wants to see you. I'd have liked to give you more time to recover but he insists."

"What does he want to see me for?" Lily put the spoon back on the tray. What did he want to see her?

Severus closed his eyes for a moment. "He wants," he hesitated. "He wants to determine whether it was wise to spare you." There was an awkward pause. "Lily," the young man urged just when Lily thought she couldn't stand the silence any longer. "I need you to behave! If you give him reason to think that you will cause trouble, he may still kill you. You are not yet safe."

"I should have died with them," Lily pointed out.

Severus shook his head. "No," he insisted. "You should not! You should never have married Potter! He didn't deserve you! You are better off without him and his spawn!"

Again, Lily felt that jolt of agony. "Harry," she whispered. "He was my baby! MY baby!" Suddenly the agony was replaced by something else. Cold fury. "How dare you suggest I was better off without my baby!" She threw the soup bowl at Severus in a smooth motion before he could try and prevent her from doing so.

"You don't understand," Severus said. He waved his wand casually and the soup stains vanished. "You are safe without the boy! The boy was the only reason he was after you! He no longer has a reason to kill you! If you behave, he won't harm you!"

"He was my baby!" Lily repeated stubbornly. "What kind of man are you, Severus Snape! How dare you suggest I'd want to sacrifice my baby for an illusion of safety! How dare you suggest that a mother should outlive her child! I'd have died to keep him safe! I'd have gladly died!" The fury disappeared as quickly as it had come. "I asked him to kill me instead. Why didn't he kill me in Harry's stead?" Lily asked meekly.

"I told you," Severus pointed out with a hint of pride. "I asked him to spare you. I begged him for your life."

Lily shook her head in disbelief. "Why would you do that? Why would you doom me to living a life without my family?"

"You are not without a family," Severus took her hand like he had done earlier. "I'm here. We can be a family. Try to eat the bread now. I told you he wants to see you."

"How did he find us?" Lily muttered, she stared past Severus unseeingly. "We were hidden. We were so well hidden."

"Wormtail," Severus whispered and drew his thumb across Lily's palm gently. "He's downstairs."

"Oh Merlin! Is he alive? What did he do to him?"

Severus snorted. "He gave him 30 sickles and a muggle girl. The muggle is dead, of course."

Lily stared at Severus. "What?"

"He sold you," the man said coldly. "I don't know the exact sum, and I assume the muggle was a bonus. Oh, and he got to frame Black. I got the impression that was the best part for him."

"He sold us," Lily repeated. She shuddered. "We trusted him with our life and he sold us."

"Eat now, you need your strength."

"Whatever for," Lily whispered. "There is nothing I have to live for."

Severus looked at the girl calculatingly. "Do you want Wormtail to get away with his treason? Don't you want to punish him?"

Lily sat straighter. "He won't get away with what he did."

-x-


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: This is the first story I'm writing in years. I'll update as I go. Since the summer is near, I hope there will be at least one update per week. Feedback is appreciated. _

_Now on with the story:_

Lily squared her shoulders. She needed strength. More than she thought she possessed. How was she supposed to face the murderer of her husband and her baby son? How was she to convince him that she meant no trouble?

"Ready?" Severus asked before he led the way out of the door. He didn't wait for Lily's confirmation.

The witch realised she had no choice and followed him.

The room in which she had woken had been simple. A bed, a bedside table, a chair, a small wardrobe. The corridor was a different thing. The floor was white marble but little of it showed, only a narrow stripe left and right of a soft dark green rug. The walls were decorated with stuccowork some of which hinted columns. Between those columns hung paintings on one side. Opposite the paintings were large windows, decorated with heavy velvet curtains in the same colour as the carpet.

Lily was no expert in art but it was clear that the paintings were old and of fine quality. Most were landscapes but there were also portraits. The people in the portraits stared at the witch and the wizard walking past them but if they had anything to say they kept it to themselves. Only the portrait of a blonde woman in her forties smiled at Lily weakly.

The witch tried to look outside but it was difficult with Severus walking in front of her so quickly. She caught a glimpse of a garden or park but she could not see anything which gave away where they were.

The corridor ended in a stair head. The staircase was grand. It was made of marble, too, and swung down to a magnificent hall in an elegant arch. On the opposite side of the room a similar staircase led down. The hall floor was of marble, too, only it was not white but black and white with patterns of black leaves, tendrils and blossoms on a white background.

Lily gasped. "Where are we?" she asked but Severus had started to descend the stairs and all she could do was follow.

The corridor which led off the hall was decorated with a dark blue rug and more paintings, mostly still lives. Severus led the way past several elegant oak doors. When he finally stood in front of the last one at the end of the corridor he turned and looked at Lily with concern.

"He will ask you questions. Be honest. He'll know if you lie. Remember he spared you because I asked him to. If he feels that you are too much trouble he may still kill you. Making me happy is not very high on his priority list. You must be careful, dear."

Lily nodded. How dare Severus call her 'dear'! Couldn't he see that she had just lost her family? That any endearment he used sounded like mockery? New fury rose in her but she fought it down with all her might. This was not the time for anger. If she wanted to get the traitor, she had to play along and bide her time. It was, Lily thought, an opportunity for a last service for Albus and the order. Rid them of the traitor among them. It was clear that if she went against the rat, she was going to die but she didn't mind. If she died she was going to be reunited with Harry and James.

-x-

The room behind the oak door was a library; a huge, elegant library which Lily would have loved to explore otherwise. As it was, she walked in only a few steps beside Severus.

They stopped by a large fireplace. In front of the roaring fire lay a huge rug with a colourful flowery pattern. Lily thought she also spotted a couple of birds among the blossoms.

Two men were standing by the fire. Lily recognised them both. She had seen the younger one numerous times at Hogwarts. It was Lucius Malfoy, former head boy, Slytherin prince and one of the wealthiest wizards in Britain. The other one she had met only a couple of times. The Dark Lord motioned them to come closer.

"Lily Potter," he drawled. "I can see why you want her, Severus."

Lily glared at the man defiantly.

The dark wizard ignored her and continued, unimpressed. "Severus here tells me that you followed your husband into Dumbledore's camp. You are aware, of course, that you cannot be allowed to live unless you correct that mistake." He stepped closer to Lily and she had to suppress a shudder.

The older man made eye contact and Lily felt the tingling sensation of legilimency behind her forehead. Remembering her lessons with Albus she called those memories she was ready to let the man see to the forefront of her mind.

Lily was 9 and sitting on a swing. Severus was pushing her. When the swing wouldn't go any higher, Lily jumped and floated in the air before landing gently.

Lily was 13 and she and Severus were meeting in the library at Hogwarts. They were doing their best to solve a potions problem. When they finally succeeded they smiled at each other happily.

Lily was 16 and James was trying to pester her into going to Hogsmead with him.

Lily was 18 and dancing with Albus at her wedding. The headmaster was trying to comfort her after a bad quarrel with her sister. Lily was angry at Sirius Black for pranking Petunia.

Lily was 19 and she was shouting at James. He had brought a whole litter of kittens home without asking.

Lily was 20 and she was holding a newborn baby boy. She was ignoring James in favour of her son.

Lily was 21 and she was running up the stairs to Harry's room. She didn't spare James a single thought. All that counted was Harry.

Lily was in the small room she had woken up in. Severus helped her sit up and Lily smiled at him tiredly.

"It seems you were right, Severus," the Dark Lord broke the eye contact and turned to his servant. "You will both stay at the manor for the time being. Keep an eye on her."

"Thank you, my Lord," Severus bowed.

"You may move her to your rooms," the Dark Lord continued.

Move into Severus's rooms? Lily wanted to cry and scream. James was dead! And here this man wanted her to move in with Severus! She forced herself to smile at Severus, aware that the monster was watching for her reaction closely.

"Join us for dinner downstairs," Lucius Malfoy spoke for the first time. "My wife will be glad to have female company for once."

"It will be our pleasure, Lucius," Severus said. He took Lily by the elbow and led her out of the library.

They went back up the marvellous staircase but at the head of the stairs they slid through a small door which was hidden behind a silk tapestry depicting a hunting scene. Behind said door was another, less grand staircase. It was made of wood and went straight up to the second floor. Lily followed Severus up.

The man only stopped in front of a door.

"Lucius uses the upper floor for guest quarters," he explained. "We live here. At the moment we have the whole floor for ourselves. The Dark Lord's rooms are on the family floor, and I'm the only permanent guest at the time being."

He unlocked the door with a wave of his wand and led the way inside.

The room was not as grand as the part of the house Lily had just seen. The rug looked less expensive but was still beautiful. The furniture – an armchair and a sofa, a table and a couple of chairs – seemed to be of good quality but were more modest in design.

A door led from the living room. Severus led the way. "I'll give you the tour," he smiled.

To Lily's horror, the door led to a bedroom with one bed for two. Certainly Severus didn't expect…! She barely noticed the wardrobe and the bathroom.

"You must be exhausted. Why don't you lie down?" Severus offered. "I've been sleeping on the left side of the bed. I hope the right side is alright for you."

"I always sleep on the right side," Lily muttered.

"Excellent," Severus said cheerfully. He pulled back the duvet and helped Lily lie down. "I'll wake you in time for dinner. How much time do you think you need to get ready?"

Lily didn't answer the question. She lay on her side and curled in on herself. Why hadn't the monster killed her with her husband and son? What was she supposed to do here? She was furious because of Peter's treason. She wanted him punished. But what would she gain by doing so? If she punished Peter, James and Harry would be still dead. Was it worth playing Severus' little game of domesticity?

It was clear that her childhood friend expected them to share the bed. It was also clear that he was a death eater. She had been right when she broke up with him back in fifth year. He was bad; rotten; evil. Was getting Peter worth putting up with this?

Lily let her tears flow when she heard Severus close the bedroom door. Oh James! What would you do? She was used to talking things over with her husband. Now, she was alone. What would James say? Would he forgive her if she played along in Severus' game?

The witch was not sure about the forgiving part, James hated Severus with a passion from a young age, but one thing was certain. James would – if he was here and alive – say that they had to at least warn the order about Peter. How many order members had they lost so far because of him? How many were going to be lost if Albus wasn't warned?

Lily wiped her cheek with her hand. Yes, this was it. Albus had to learn about Peter. Only when that was achieved, she could join James and Harry.

Lily didn't think this would be difficult with a dark wizard nearby. Once Albus was warned she could let him kill her. And maybe, if she was lucky, she could take Peter down with her.

-x-


	3. Chapter 3

Lily was woken with a kiss. She leaned into it for a fraction of a second before she remembered that James was dead. Who was kissing her?

It was Severus.

Lily scrambled back. "Don't do that!" she cried.

The man stared at her blankly for a moment. "I saved you," he then growled. "I can expect a bit of gratitude."

The witch stared back, barely suppressing her anger. If she wanted to warn Albus, she needed Severus' protection. "My husband and son were killed!" she snarled. "Do you expect me to forget about it in a matter of hours?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are right," he mused. "I'm moving too fast. Forgive me. Get ready for dinner. We are expected downstairs in a half hour." That said, he returned to the living room.

After using the bathroom, Lily checked the wardrobe. Somebody had brought her clothes from Godric's Hollow. How was she supposed to survive the evening if she wore clothes which reminded her of James all the time?

On the other hand, maybe being reminded of James was not bad. James would have done anything for the order. James would have succeeded in warning Albus. With a nod Lily chose her husband's favourite dress.

"Green is your colour," Severus smiled when she left the bedroom.

"I need to do my hair," Lily ignored the compliment. "I don't have my wand. Can I borrow yours, please?"

"Your hair is perfect like this," the young man pointed out.

Lily gathered her hair in a ponytail with her hands and held it up as if to make a bun. "Wouldn't it look much better like that? I always wear it like that when I spruce up."

Severus sighed. "I like it open but we don't want you to feel uncomfortable, do we?" He ushered her back to the bathroom and when they stood in front of the mirror, he handed her his wand.

"Thank you," Lily attempted a smile. It must have been good enough for Severus because he beamed back at her. The witch used a spell to bring her hair up into a bun, and another to make it shinier. "I'd prefer a potion for that," she sighed, "but I cannot be picky."

"I can brew you what you want," Severus offered. "If I have time."

"I can do it myself if I can get access to a lab," Lily pointed out.

Severus shrugged. "We'll see."

They walked the same way they had before but this time Severus led the way through a door closer to the magnificent entrance hall. The room they entered was less grand than the library but still luxurious. A dinner table, big enough to seat two dozen people, took up the centre of the room. Near one of the windows, aperitifs were served on an elegant sideboard.

Their hosts were already there. Lucius Malfoy was in conversation with who Lily assumed was his wife. They had both turned their backs to the door and Lucius was pointing out the window. "…we'll do as you like, beloved, although I still think that near the pavilion is a better place." Lily caught the last bit of the conversation.

"I want to see him from my windows when he's older," the woman stated in a tone which left no room for discussion.

Severus cleared his throat softly and the couple turned around.

"Ah, Severus and his new acquisition," Lucius beamed. "Come and have a drink!"

Severus thanked the other man with a hinted bow and stepped to the sideboard. "What would you like?" he asked Lily.

"You choose," Lily said in a small voice. How was she supposed to survive dinner when this woman was holding a baby boy? A baby boy which seemed to be very close to Harry in age.

"Ah," the woman realised immediately that Lily was staring at her child. "This is Draco. He's a sweet one, isn't he?" She turned to the child she was holding and tickled his belly playfully. "Isn't he?" she repeated and the boy squealed merrily.

Lily swallowed hard. Harry had loved this little game but he'd never play it again. How was she supposed to look at this child and not break down crying and screaming?

"Here," Severus handed her a glass of wine. "I wasn't sure what you liked but one cannot do wrong with a nice glass of white wine."

"Thank you," Lily muttered, still staring at the child.

The door opened again and the Dark Lord entered the room.

"My Lord," Lucius hurried to serve a glass to the man.

"Ah, thank you, Lucius," the dark wizard accepted his drink with a smile. "Ladies, you look radiant tonight." He hinted bows to both, the host's wife and Lily.

"I was just going to make the introductions," Lucius continued. "Narcissa, my dear, I present you Lily Potter. Lily, Narcissa Malfoy, my wife."

Lily wanted to roll her eyes for Lucius being so formal but then she remembered the man was a death eater. He was following old-fashioned traditions; pureblood traditions.

They sipped their drinks in a relaxed atmosphere. It was hard for Lily to fit in, to pretend that it was okay to share dinner with the murderers of her family. She wanted to kick and scream but she couldn't. Severus had only hinted at it but if the Dark Lord thought she was too much trouble, he might still kill her, and she couldn't allow that to happen before she had warned Albus. She had to be careful.

When the Dark Lord had emptied his glass, Lucius invited his guests to sit at the table. Lily registered with satisfaction that the blond man's mask slipped for a small moment and he made a face because he had to leave the spot of honour at the head of the table to the older wizard.

Narcissa sat beside her husband after setting Draco down in a high chair on her other side. Lily got the seat opposite her, by Severus' side.

When everybody was seated, Lucius clapped his hands and a house elf in a pillow case served the meal.

There were several courses but Lily remembered not a single one afterwards. She needed all her wits to stay in her role. Those people could not know how much she despised them. They could not know how much she hated them and how she wanted to kill them for what they had done to Harry and James. Not yet.

"Tell me, Severus," the Dark Lord said over dessert, "how has your little lady settled in? She seems awfully quiet."

"All is well, my Lord," Severus reassured him. "She's still recovering from the spell you used on her."

"It's been three days," the other wizard said. "I used a mere Stupefy on her."

"The power my Lord puts into His spells is much more than the average wizard uses. She wouldn't have stayed unconscious for two days from any other wizard's spell," Severus pointed out.

"True," the Dark Lord roared merrily. "She must still have a headache. Well, my dear," he turned to Lily, "we're looking forward to when you're fully recovered." He raised his glass to Lily and she returned the gesture although she wanted to throw it instead.

After the meal, Lily made use of the headache excuse Severus had set up for her and returned to their rooms. Severus stayed downstairs to have coffee.

She went to bed and since she was alone, Lily allowed herself the luxury of crying herself to sleep.

-x-


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, it took Lily only a second to remember the nightmare her life had become. Instead of her beloved James, Severus Snape was lying beside her. The man was sleeping on his side, facing Lily, smiling in his sleep.

Lily closed her eyes. How long could she keep her childhood friend at bay? She had known since her fourth year that Severus harboured feelings for her. At some point she had pitied him a little because she was unable to return them. Severus had been like a brother for her and she was not interested in him THAT way. When they had grown up and the boy had associated with people who thought Lily to be worthless for her parentage, even those sisterly feelings had died, little by little, step by step, whenever one of Severus' new friends had called her that name or looked at her as if she was a piece of dirt under his shoe. They had died entirely the day Severus had called her that name.

It was clear from his behaviour that Severus' feelings had not died. He wanted her and knowing him from their childhood, Lily was sure that she could convince him she needed to grieve for her lost family before she could start any new relationship. But she was also aware that Severus wouldn't take no for an answer forever.

What would James say? James had been so clever! He had seen through Severus' mask of friendliness right from the start. Lily's heart ached at the thought of betraying James and what they had shared in order to stay alive long enough to give Albus a message.

She needed a plan.

Speed, Lily decided, was of utmost importance. She had to give Albus a message before Severus' patience ran out.

She needed a wand. Preferably her wand; but she had no idea where it was.

To get a wand, she needed Severus to trust her. That would be easier if she agreed to play the role he had obviously in mind for her; but no. Lily was not ready to cheat on James. She had to gain Severus' trust in a different way.

Apart from those two goals, Lily was not able to plan any further. She knew too little about life at Malfoy Manor. Who lived there and in which part of the house? Was the Dark Lord a permanent resident? She assumed no. Yesterday evening she had got the impression that his presence was an exception. But then maybe he usually preferred to eat in his rooms?

She also needed to know where Peter was. If she wanted to take the rat down personally, and she wanted that very much, she needed to know of his whereabouts.

Satisfied with her plans – gather information and get access to a wand – Lily crept out of bed and to the bathroom.

Severus found her there a half hour later.

Lily was brushing her hair. Every few strokes of the brush she made a face.

"Good morning," she returned Severus' greeting and smiled at him weakly in the bathroom mirror. "Would you mind if I borrow your wand for this?"

"You are nearly done," the man pointed out.

"But it hurts," Lily replied with just a hint of a whine in her voice.

"And we don't want that," Severus said. He handed her the wand but Lily didn't miss the fact that he stayed close enough that he could interfere should she try to do anything other than finish her hair.

With a grateful smile Lily accepted the wand and used one spell to tame the hair and the shininess spell. Then she handed the wand back with a soft 'thank you'. Maybe if she made it a habit to borrow Severus' wand he'd get careless. It was worth a try.

When they were both dressed and groomed, Severus called for a house elf. A very young creature with tennis ball sized eyes and floppy ears appeared.

"Not you again!" Severus snarled. "He dropped my breakfast last week!" he told Lily as an explanation.

"Dobby is most aggrieved," wailed the elf. "Dobby has curled his ears!" The elf pointed up at his ears. Lily gasped when she realised their form was not natural.

"And you deserved it," barked Severus. "Bring us breakfast now and drop nothing or I will make curling your ears look like a reward!"

The elf nodded and disappeared with a crack.

"Why are you so strict with him?" asked Lily. "He's young and has much to learn. And he's scared!"

"He'd better be. Lucius has no use for incompetent elves." Severus sat on the sofa and patted the spot beside him. Lily sat.

The elf reappeared almost as fast as he had disappeared. He carried a tray which he set down on the coffee table. There was tea, toast, butter and marmalade. On a small plate lay two white envelopes.

"Dobby has messages for master and mistress," the elf pointed out.

"I shall meet Lucius after breakfast," Severus said after a quick glance at his message. "Who's yours from?"

"Narcissa asks me to go for a walk in the garden," Lily showed him the letter. "May I?"

"If you'd like to," Severus was clearly pleased with Lily asking his permission. "But keep to the grounds. Although I doubt Narcissa will desire to leave the premises."

They finished their breakfast in silence and then walked downstairs together to meet their hosts.

-x-


	5. Chapter 5

Lily waited in the entrance hall like Narcissa had suggested in her message while Severus proceeded to the library.

The blonde woman came down the stairs merely five minutes after Lily. She was carrying Draco. A house elf followed her, carrying a toy broomstick. Lily swallowed hard. Such a broomstick had been Harry's most prized possession apart from a plush wolf.

"I'm glad you decided to join me," Narcissa said after wishing Lily a good morning. "I don't have much female company here. Actually, the only girls I see from time to time are my sister Bella and Mercedes Wilkes. Lucius tried to set her up with Severus but I guess that is over now that you are here."

"I hope so," Lily smiled. That was all she needed, competition for Severus' attention. What if he decided that the other woman was better than Lily? The young witch had no doubt that it was Severus' infatuation with her which kept her alive. She couldn't afford to lose him.

Narcissa led the way through a door Lily had not used yet. They walked through a grand room which Narcissa explained to be a ballroom. The floor was white marble and the walls were covered in what Lily took to be silk. There were large mirrors on the walls and crystal chandeliers. Instead of windows, the ballroom had doors which granted a magnificent view of the garden.

One of the doors was open and they stepped on a terrace easily big enough for 50 people. An elegant staircase led down to the lawn.

The two women followed a path from the house to a fountain. The path led past beautiful flowerbeds which contained in spite of the time of the year mostly white rose but here and there there were also other, colourful flowers. Narcissa led the way to a stone bench between some bushes. They sat and the blonde woman put Draco down.

She fussed over the little boy for a while before she sent him off with the elf to ride his broomstick.

"Make sure he stays over grass where he won't be hurt if he falls," she ordered.

The elf bowed. "Floppy will do as mistress says but Master Draco is an excellent flyer. He won't fall."

"We won't take a risk," Narcissa ordered.

They watched the elf and the little boy for a while.

"Lucius tells me that you lost a child recently," Narcissa said softly.

Lily snorted. "The Dark Lord killed my son and my husband. He spared me only because Severus asked him."

Narcissa touched her elbow. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "No woman should lose a child to politics like that. You are, however, lucky to be alive. I never heard he spared anybody before. He must be really happy with Severus' work. You must be very careful not to anger him."

For a moment, Lily wondered whether the other woman was speaking about Severus or the Dark Lord. She didn't ask though.

"You seem to have got away completely unharmed," Narcissa continued, oblivious of Lily's thoughts. "That's lucky, too. I've heard what he can do with otherwise harmless spells. You have slept three days after a simple 'stupefy'. Or at least I was told that was all he used on you. I must admit I didn't believe it when I heard it at dinner yesterday but Lucius reassured me it was correct."

"Lucius saw?" Lily asked.

Narcissa nodded. "He was there. It was the first time he was chosen for a private mission. Usually they go in groups. In some cases the Dark Lord goes alone and on even rarer occasions he chooses one of the group to accompany him. It's a great distinction to be chosen. Lucius was very proud."

Lily wanted to throttle her. How could this woman tell her that her husband had been proud to participate in the murder of her family! How dare she! It took a lot of willpower not to act on the bout of rage which was running through the red haired witch.

"Anyhow, I assume Severus ran diagnostic spells on you to make sure you weren't harmed," Narcissa added as an afterthought. "Look at Draco!" she then changed topic. "He's such a darling!"

The blond boy was chasing after the house elf on his broomstick and giggling like mad. The elf looked very unhappy as it jogged in front of the little menace.

"Your elf seems out of breath," Lily pointed out.

Narcissa nodded in agreement. "Floppy has been serving the family for over 80 years. He's getting old. We'll replace him as soon as Dobby is properly trained. Lucius needs a reliable elf. We can't dispose of this one before Dobby can take over his duties."

"Two elves run the whole manor?" Lily asked. It seemed a Herculean task for only two.

"We have those two in the house," Narcissa confirmed. "For the garden we have a third one but that one isn't used in the house. It's hard to find an elf that's good at gardening if you want to keep the garden upper scale. I was lucky I got Iffy as a wedding gift. Would you like to see more?"

Lily confirmed that, yes, she would love to see more of the garden. Narcissa let the elf know she was going for a walk and to continue the game with Draco. The women continued their way on the path they had come on.

Narcissa enjoyed playing the guide for her guest. She explained about the maze they walked past. Lucius had planted it as a wedding gift for her.

"We enjoy playing in there very much," she admitted with a blush.

Lily smiled weakly. She really didn't want to imagine Lucius chasing his new wife through a maze.

They continued and walked past several pavilions. They were, according to Narcissa, all gifts of former masters of the manor to their wives. It seemed Lucius had broken a family tradition when he had given his wife a maze.

The path turned to the left and led to a pond large enough for rowing. There was a small boat house at the far end.

"It's fun in the summer," Narcissa explained. "Now the boats are in the house for the winter."

They walked on and as they neared the house, Lily saw white bird strutting on the lawn. "Are those peacocks?" she asked.

"They are," Narcissa confirmed. "This part of the lawn can be seen from the terrace. Lucius is quite proud of them. His great grandfather started to breed peacocks as a hobby. He went for white ones which are awfully rare and expensive. It took a lot of patience to get the colour out of the flock. Again and again colourful ones hatched from white parents. It was Lucius' father who got the last coloured peacock. For fifteen years now, every single chick we got was white. Lucius is very proud of that. It's the only purely white breed in Europe, maybe even the world. There are rumours of one in India but we don't know for sure."

Lily had to admit that the birds were beautiful. They looked ghostly and at the same time elegant.

"We can explore the other part of the garden another day," Narcissa continued. "It's time for Draco's snack. Would you like to come and help me?"

"I'm not sure," Lily admitted. "I'm enjoying your company very much but I'm not sure I can watch you take care of Draco. He's the same age my Harry was."

"Forgive me," Narcissa touched the other witch's arm softly. "It was tactless of me to ask. You are still grieving."

Lily smiled weakly. "Don't apologize. You were being friendly. Our walk let me forget about my loss for a few minutes and I have to thank you for that. I'd love to repeat it soon. Draco is sweet, and I'd love to help with him once the pain about Harry is no longer fresh."

"Let's go back to the house," Narcissa suggested. "Maybe our men are done with their meeting."

They were not, and Lily returned to their rooms alone. She tried out summoning an elf and Dobby answered her call.

"What can Dobby do for mistress?" the elf asked dutifully.

"I'd like a cup of tea and a snack," Lily ordered.

The elf brought what Lily wanted and she settled down on the sofa with her meal. She had to order lunch, too, because Severus didn't return. By the time dinner was due, Lily was bored beyond belief.

There was nothing to do in these rooms! There weren't even books! She tried to get one from the house elf after lunch but the creature informed her that the elves had been ordered to only obey her when she requested food.

-x-


	6. Chapter 6

Severus didn't turn up for dinner. Lily tried to go downstairs to find Narcissa but when she tried to open the door, she found that it was warded and wouldn't open for her. The witch growled with frustration.

As she couldn't think of any other possibility she summoned a house elf again and asked for dinner. The creature bowed and brought her a three course meal. The food was not of the same fine quality she had had the evening before but more than adequate.

Lily waited a long while for Severus but he didn't return. At last she gave up and went to bed.

When the witch woke the next morning, Severus was lying beside her. He had a nasty bruise in his face and his nose looked broken.

Lily scrambled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Since she was undisturbed, she thought about what to do now. How did Severus' injury affect her situation? Had he fallen from the Dark Lord's good graces? Probably not; Lily was sure the Dark Lord wouldn't have cared about disturbing her sleep when he wanted to use her to punish Severus. That left the question whether she could use the injury in any way.

The witch decided to offer Severus to use a healing spell on him when he woke. That way she could build more trust when it came to being allowed a wand.

"Lily!"

Lily started. Severus sounded angry.

"I'm in the bathroom!"

"I want to know where you are at all times!" Severus glared at her angrily when she returned to the bedroom.

Lily giggled. "You mean you want me to tell you when I need the toilet? Don't be childish, Severus!" She felt scared, challenging a death eater like that, but she was not going to let him control her like that. "Do you want me to heal your nose? This must hurt."

Severus thought about it. Letting Lily borrow his wand was one thing but letting her use it on him was another.

"I promise to tell you beforehand which spells I'm going to cast," Lily offered.

It took the wizard quite a while to decide but finally the need to get rid of the pain won. He gestured at the wand on the bedside table.

Lily took it reverently. "Episkey first I think," she said softly.

Severus nodded his consent and Lily cast her spell.

They proceeded that way until Severus' face was as good as new.

"Do you mind if I use it for my hair again?" Lily asked when she was done.

Severus nodded. Being healed and free of pain again had put it into a good mood.

"May I take it to the mirror, please?"

"I want your word that you will only use it for your hair!"

Lily smiled. "You have it. Thank you for your trust."

She went back into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Severus couldn't see her anyway from where he was sitting in the bed and she was sure he felt better if she offered to watch by not closing the door.

She did her hair, making a point of saying the spells aloud. Then she remembered something. "Narcissa said something yesterday which made me think," she cried.

"What did she say?"

"She reminded me that the Dark Lord sometimes hurts people with otherwise harmless spells because he's so powerful. She asked whether you had used a diagnostic spell on me."

"I haven't," Severus admitted.

"May I?" Lily asked.

There was a short silence before the wizard answered. "Yes, go ahead."

Lily cast the spell aloud, like she had done with the other ones. When she saw the result, she gasped.

"Are you okay?" Severus came into the bathroom mere moments after the light of the spell had faded.

"Yes!" Lily hurried to say. "I was just surprised because I expected it to show my sprained ankle but then I remembered that I was unconscious for three days. That's enough time for it to heal."

"I'm glad to hear it," Severus smiled. He pocketed his wand. "I'll order breakfast while you get dressed."

The witch nodded. Only when she heard him close the bedroom door she dared look down at her abdomen.

This changed everything.

There was a piece of James left in the world!

-x-

Lily asked Severus for a book during breakfast and she got a half dozen. They were all harmless. The Tales of Beedle the Bard. An Introduction to Arithmancy. Goblin Wars of the 14th Century. Three story books for children.

She spent most of the morning staring at the pages of a story book unseeingly while Severus was reading a potions book.

What was she to do?

She had thought that she had lost her family but now she knew that there was another life to take into account. Lily smiled when she thought of how James would have been excited when he learned. James had been so overjoyed when he heard about Harry!

And Harry! He'd have been a big brother!

But as it was, it was only she and the baby. And Severus.

What was Severus going to say? Lily couldn't see him accept James child. Sweet Merlin! She had to make him think that the child was his or he was going to kill the baby before it was even born. Getting rid of an unwanted child was no problem for a potions master. Lily had never finished her studies due to the need to hide but she knew enough to be scared for the baby.

In her thoughts, Lily asked James to forgive her what she had to do in order to protect his child. She was sure he'd understand. James had died protecting her and Harry. He'd understand what was necessary for her to do to give their second child a chance at life.

That didn't mean she liked it.

How was she going to do this? Once again, time was important. If she waited too long, Severus would not be fooled into thinking the baby was his.

Lily was startled out of her thoughts by Dobby who brought lunch and a message for Severus.

"There's a meeting tonight," he said. "I'm to bring you with me."

Lily tried to read the wizard's face. Why was she supposed to come? What did the Dark Lord want?

"You will stay close to me," Severus ordered. "I will keep you safe."

The witch nodded. She was relying on that.

-x-


	7. Chapter 7

They had dinner in their rooms. Severus ate with a good appetite but Lily was too scared to eat. She picked at her roast.

"You won't achieve anything by weakening yourself," Severus pointed out. "Eat!"

"I'm trying," Lily said meekly.

She managed to stomach a few bites of potato and two forkfuls of meat but not more.

"What should I wear?"

"Something modest; traditional would be good. You do have something traditional, don't you?" Severus smirked at the witch.

Lily went to the bedroom and stood in front of the wardrobe. She decided on dark blue robes. To be safe, she took the robes to the living room and looked at Severus questioningly.

"That will do," he nodded.

-x-

The meeting was held in the ballroom. When Lily and Severus arrived, they found an incomplete circle of men. There were gaps in the circle and Severus took his place in one of those gaps. He pulled Lily beside him and wrapped his arm around her waist possessively.

The men were wearing black robes. The masks Lily had heard reports about were missing. She recognised some of the men. They had been identified as death eaters by the order of the phoenix, the organisation Lily and James had been part of, earlier.

Little by little more death eaters arrived and filled the gaps. Among the arrivals were two women, Bellatrix Black and another one which Lily didn't recognise. Both arrived with a man, Bellatrix with Rodolphus Lestrange. By the way they behaved, Lily thought they were a couple. The woman she didn't know the name of was older, too old to have attended Hogwarts while Lily was there.

Only when the circle was complete, the Dark Lord made his appearance.

"Welcome, my friends," he greeted the group. The death eaters bowed in way of a greeting. "I called you here to discuss yesterday's activity with you." He left his spot and walked around the circle stopping from time to time to look into a death eater's eyes.

"Bellatrix," he mused when he reached the woman, "I must say I was quite impressed with the way you dealt with that muggle."

"Thank you, my Lord," the woman beamed at the man.

The Dark Lord smiled at her lopsidedly and continued in his tracks.

"Avery, Rosier, that was good thinking to look for the mudblood in that cabinet."

"She peed herself when we found her," Rosier laughed.

The Dark Lord ignored him. Instead he pointed his wand at a wizard beside the beaming Avery and Rosier. The man fell to the ground, screaming with pain. "You hesitated when it came to punishing her husband, that blood-traitor. Were you thinking of sparing him?" The dark wizard held the spell for what seemed forever. Lily knew the man writhing on the floor was a death eater who didn't deserve her pity but she wanted to cry for him as his voice grew hoarse and his screams were reduced to whimpers.

The Dark Lord spent over an hour praising and punishing his death eaters. Severus was praised for his presence of mind. Apparently a group of muggles had nearly escaped when they – instead of being paralyzed with fear – had attacked the death eaters who had invaded their house. Severus had thought of using a freezing charm although one of their attackers had just broken his nose. The muggles were, of course, dead now. It was not discussed in detail but it seemed Severus had a prominent part in their torture and death.

Lily wanted to vomit. Only the need to save her child let her remain outwardly calm.

When the Dark Lord was done with his circling, new plans were discussed. If everything went according to those plans, at least twenty muggles and muggle-borns were going to die within a week. Some of the death eaters made suggestions. One pointed out that his muggle neighbour's dog had destroyed one of his flower beds and he wanted the muggle removed for it. The neighbour was added to the list of future victims.

All the while Lily stood quietly beside Severus and listened. If she could contact Albus, she had valuable information for him. She now knew the names of future victims. She also knew the faces of a large group of death eaters.

The witch nearly missed the mood change around her. The Dark Lord clapped his hands. "I think a reward is in order for those who did well."

"Excellent," grinned the man who was standing at Lily's side. "I've been waiting all evening to get my share of pretty." He took Lily's arm and pulled her towards him.

Lily jumped back with a shriek. She panicked when she collided with a body but then she realised it must be Severus who had been standing at her other side. "How dare you touch what is mine," Severus growled at the man. "My Lord, I request your permission to put Mulciber in his place!"

A slight nod from the dark wizard was all Severus needed. He pulled Lily behind him and attacked Mulciber with a whole round of spells. Lily stayed close to Severus in spite of the horror she felt watching him use a slicing charm on the other man mercilessly although Mulciber was wailing with pain and begging him to stop.

Somebody touched Lily from behind and when she gave another shriek, Severus turned around and used the slicing spell on a second death eater without asking for permission.

"Anyone else?" he barked when the second death eater was writhing on the floor. "Only the Dark Lord can take what the Dark Lord gave." Severus bowed to the dark wizard.

"Ah, Severus," laughed the man, "I like the passion you display once you have a purpose. – I wasn't talking about Severus' little prize, my friends. I was talking about this!" He waved his wand and a group of girls was revealed at the far end of the ballroom. "Have fun!"

The death eaters abandoned their formation and hurried to their prisoners. A fight broke out over the girls and what to do with them.

Severus turned to the Dark Lord. "My Lord," he said humbly, "may I ask your permission to retire with my … prize?"

The man laughed. "Ah, the joys of a new relationship! Go, Severus, and enjoy your night." He winked at Lily.

The witch averted her eyes in what she hoped to go over as a show of modesty. She was glad when Severus took her hand and led her out of the ballroom and up to their rooms. By the time they reached the ballroom door, screams of the prisoners echoed through the manor.

-x-

Lily lay awake. She felt like crying but she knew she needed to do this.

"Severus?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

Severus turned a little to face her. "I am."

"Can you hold me, please?" Lily scooted closer to the man. He obliged without hesitation. "I was so scared down there. You protected me. I need to know that you are here with me."

"I will always protect you, my love." Severus gathered her into his arms. He kissed her.

This time, Lily didn't deny him. Instead she kissed back encouragingly. Severus didn't need a second invitation. He deepened the kiss.

A little later, Lily lay on her back and thought of James.

-x-


	8. Chapter 8

There were meetings on a regular basis at the manor. Lily was not ordered to attend again. She spent those evenings on the sofa, trying to read a book, listening to the screams of the death eaters' victims.

Severus attended, of course.

Lily hated it when he came back, smelling of blood, and then expected her to crawl into bed with him. And he always did.

The witch had to remind herself that she was putting up with the monster she had unleashed nearly every day for her child. The thought of her unborn baby was the only thing that kept her going most of the time.

Life at Malfoy manor was not all bad. There were nice things, too. Lily walked in the garden with Narcissa and Draco at least every other day.

She still wasn't trusted with a wand but Severus was willing to let her borrow his if she spoke her spells for him to hear and told him in advance what she wanted to use the wand for.

One of the house elves brought her more books. They were still harmless and only of limited actual interest but it gave Lily something to do.

Before Lily knew it, it was Christmas.

-x-

One evening, when Lily and Severus returned to their rooms after dinner with the Malfoy family, there was a small Christmas tree in the sitting room. It was nicely decorated, mostly in green and silver.

Lily swallowed hard. The little tree reminded her of Harry who had had only one Christmas in his short life. She sat on the sofa with a small sigh.

"I'll have it removed if it makes you sad," Severus said in a show of concern.

Lily looked up at him, teary-eyed. "Please don't," she said softly. "I was just caught by surprise. It made me think of last Christmas, how excited Harry was when he opened the presents. I miss my little boy."

Severus nodded but didn't comment. The man sat beside Lily and for a while they admired their tree in silence.

"Would you like tea before we retire?" It was Severus who broke the silence.

"Yes, please," Lily smiled. "A cup of tea would be nice." Anything which postponed what she knew to come would be nice.

"Here, my dear," Severus handed her a steaming cup.

Lily smiled. "Thank you." Oh, why couldn't he at least refrain from using endearments on her? Lily wanted to shout at the wizard that she wasn't his dear, had never been and was never going to be; but she couldn't. If she wanted to keep the last connection she had with James alive, she had to play along with Severus twisted idea of a loving relationship.

She had barely taken a couple of sips of tea when Lily suddenly felt sick. She dropped the cup and rushed to the bathroom. Severus was right on her heels.

"What's the matter," he asked, worried. "What can I do? If that tea was poisoned I'll personally kill that house elf!"

"Nonsense," Lily muttered, panting heavily. "You drank tea, too, and you don't look sick to me. It must have been something else. Can you do a diagnostic charm on me?"

Severus made her lie down on the bed and ran his wand down her body, muttering the charm. He stopped when he reached Lily's midsection and a faint glow showed on her stomach.

"What is it?" Lily asked, knowing very well what it was.

Severus beamed. "You don't need to be sad about Harry any more. I'll give you a new baby!"

Lily smiled the first big smile in a long time. It had worked. "Really!" she squealed. "A new baby! That's good news!" She put her hands on her abdomen and stroked the section where the baby was lovingly. "I'm so excited!"

-x-

Severus was excited, too. First thing the next morning he called for a healer to check on Lily and the baby.

"I'm pregnant, not sick," laughed Lily but she was pleased that Severus was so excited about the baby. It was the best protection her child could get.

The healer was a man old enough to be Lily's grandfather. With a shudder Lily remembered him standing beside Bellatrix Black whom she had learned to be Bellatrix Lestrange now at the meeting she had been made attend.

"Snape tells me you carry his child," he snapped as he set his bag on the coffee table. "I really don't understand what the Dark Lord sees in him. There are potions for that! What kind of a potions master is he when he's incapable to prevent his toy getting pregnant!"

"I'm sorry the Dark Lord doesn't share his insight on my abilities with you," Severus sneered from the doorway. "Now do as you were ordered and make sure my child is healthy."

"There are still potions for this," the healer pointed out. "You don't need to put up with a mudblood's spawn in your bloodline."

"Lily is not your average muggle-born," sneered Severus. "She is powerful. Her child will make up with magical talent for what it lacks in parentage."

The healer snorted but obeyed and cast a series of charms on Lily. The witch recognised them from when she had been expecting Harry.

"Everything in order with your little mudblood," the healer stated a little later. "Make sure she eats plenty of vitamins. She's quite far along seeing how long you've had her. The child should be born in early August."

-x-

On Christmas Eve, Lily and Severus were invited to dinner downstairs. There were more people than was usual at Malfoy dinners. The guest of honour was, of course, the Dark Lord. Bellatrix and her husband attended, as well as the husband's brother. There were also two men with their wives and children – boys around Draco's age – whose names Lily didn't know. Severus leaned closer to her and whispered that they were called Crabbe and Goyle.

"It is an honour, Lucius," said Mr Crabbe between starters and the main course, "to be part of your Christmas dinner. Thank you for the invitation."

"You are very welcome," Lucius raised his glass to the man. "It is important that our sons socialise with people of the right mindset from an early age."

"Hear, hear," the whole group raised their glasses.

"I find it refreshing," the Dark Lord added, "to spend my time in the company of people who are devoted to what is right." He then raised his glass again and the group followed his lead.

After dinner, the children were brought upstairs for a nap by their mothers while the rest of the group relocated to the ballroom.

Lily found it strange because for a small group like that, the library or a sitting room would have been the better choice.

In a corner of the ballroom, comfortable armchairs were arranged around a low table with coffee and sweets. There was a fireplace which Lily was sure hadn't been there when she had last been in the room.

Severus ushered Lily to one of the armchairs and handed her a plate of biscuits. Lily thanked him with a smile and Severus sat on the arm of her chair. It seemed he wasn't comfortable with Lily in a group of death eaters either.

Lucius brought snifters of honey brown liquid from a sideboard. He sat when everybody had the beverage of their choice.

Once their host was sitting, the Dark Lord started the conversation.

"I have been told," he drawled, "that one of my loyal death eaters wishes to keep a child of dirty blood."

Lily barely managed to suppress a gasp. Severus laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it in reassurance.

"Dirty blood?" cried Bellatrix. She looked at Lily and the witch wanted to cringe because of so much hatred in one face. "I know that Severus isn't that much of a prize but he certainly can do better than that."

Severus stood from his perch on the arm of the chair but before he could confront the female death eater the Dark Lord interfered.

"Severus claims that his little reward is particularly powerful and that a child of her will be a good addition to our cause." He paused and looked at the assembled group one by one. "Of course we won't take his mere word as a proof."

He smiled coldly as he drew a wand from his sleeve.

-x-


	9. Chapter 9

Lily gasped when she recognised the wand which had been hers ever since that day in August before her first year at Hogwarts.

"My Lord," Severus started but fell quiet at a wave of the older wizard's hand.

"She will go against one of my death eaters," the Dark Lord told Severus. "If she survives, you may keep her and the child." He handed the wand to Lily and gestured at the big square rug which had appeared a little from the group.

Lily took the wand and walked to the rug on shaky legs.

The Dark Lord waited until she had reached the rug before he gave his order. "Do your worst, Bellatrix!"

The woman didn't need telling twice. She got up from her chair, drawing her wand in the course of the movement.

Lily thanked whichever deity was listening that she had known Bellatrix Black at school. The witch was vicious. Lily didn't hesitate. She cast a shield charm and not a single moment too early.

Bellatrix didn't wait until she had reached the duelling area. She cast her first spell the moment she was past her fellow death eaters and had a clear shot.

Lily did some frantic thinking. Being a member of the order of the phoenix, she had had some duelling training with older order members and after Albus had received intelligence that the Dark Lord was after them because of a prophecy the headmaster had spent a couple of hours helping her and James train. The problem was that nobody had ever guessed that she or James would be brought to the death eaters' lair. The goal of their training sessions had always been to gain an opportunity for flight.

Flight was not an option here. She had to fight Bellatrix and win.

"We can do this, baby," she told her unborn child.

Bellatrix walked towards her, firing spell after spell.

Lily blocked them all but the other witch attacked so viciously that she didn't find an opportunity to launch her own attack.

The fight seemed to go on forever. Bellatrix attacked and Lily defended herself. 'You must not get impatient,' she remembered Albus say. It was not easy to act on his advice under the attack of a madly cackling woman but Lily bid her time.

The longer they were caught in their equilibrium of powers the more aggressive grew Bellatrix. She obviously wanted to end the fight.

"You cannot block me forever," she cried and cast another spell at Lily.

Lily blocked her again. "I think I can," she grinned. She hoped Bellatrix was going to become careless if she made her angry.

"That remains to be seen, mudblood," shouted the other witch.

Lily was not sure how much longer she could keep this up but she was not going to show her attacker that she was weakening. She couldn't! She had to win this fight for her baby's sake!

Bellatrix, it seemed, was growing exhausted, too. Her spells came at longer intervals. If Lily could keep up for just a little longer!

And then it happened. Bellatrix hesitated for just a moment too long. Lily saw her opportunity and cast Expelliarmus at the other witch. Bellatrix shrieked with fury when she lost her wand. Lily caught it and then threw the witch from the rug with a spell. Bellatrix landed at the far end of the ballroom with a loud thud.

Lily went back to where the group of men was waiting. She handed Bellatrix' wand to the Dark Lord with a hint of a bow.

"Very well," said the dark wizard. "I will overlook her blood. You may keep her and the child, Severus."

"Thank you, my Lord." Severus bowed deeply. When he stood up he drew his wand and shot a spell past Lily. "You never know when a game is over, Bella," he drawled.

Lily whirled around alerted by Severus' spell and the clattering of a knife on the marble floor. Bellatrix was standing behind her, her face a grimace of rage. Lily hurried to return to her spot by Severus' side.

"Sit down, Bellatrix," the Dark Lord drawled. "You have brought enough shame on yourself for one day."

Severus welcomed Lily by his side with a soft touch to her hand. "My Lord," he addressed the older wizard respectfully, "since Lily has proven to be powerful enough may I ask your permission to marry her?"

"Why would you want to marry the mudblood," asked Crabbe. "Why would you sully your family tree with one of her kind?"

Severus sneered at the other man. "I cannot change the fact that my child has a mudblood mother but I can spare him the shame of being born a bastard."

"True, Severus," agreed the Dark Lord. "If you want to keep the child, you should do it properly. Lucius, how long do you need to organise a wedding?"

"A wedding?" Lucius drawled lazily. "Narcissa will want to have her say in the planning. She can't spend all day on it with Draco being her first duty. Would a month be acceptable?"

"Severus?" the Dark Lord asked.

"A month would be more than acceptable, my Lord." Severus bowed again.

"Very well. You will stay at the manor until she is bound to you by a marriage vow," the Dark Lord ordered. "Then you may take her to your own home." He then turned to Lily. "Give me your wand!" He held out his hand for it.

"No," Lily said softly. "I made an enemy today. For my baby's sake I must refuse to stay defenceless. I'm ready to promise not to use it against you or Severus." She held her breath.

The dark wizard glared at her for a moment before he threw his head back, barking with laughter. "You got yourself a true Gryffindor, Severus! I can see why you find her entertaining."

The assembled death eaters joined in their Lord's laughter. Lily stood her ground and waited for the Dark Lord's decision.

"I want your word that you will not use it against Severus. For myself, I don't require your promise. You may be able to withstand Bellatrix but you are no match for me."

Lily nodded in understanding. She held her wand against her body and pressed the tip against her heart. "I promise not to use this wand against Severus Snape," she vowed. The wand glowed golden for a moment and then it was done. Lily had her wand back.

-x-

The next morning Lily found a parcel on her bedside table. It was small and wrapped in green paper with a silver bow. The woman hadn't expected a present but it was nice to get one and she opened it reverently.

The content of the small box she discovered didn't make her happy though.

On black velvet lay an engagement ring. It was silver with a small green stone and by no means as elegant as the ring she had gotten from James a couple of years ago.

Lily gasped. She had forgotten! Severus had said he wanted to marry her! The fact that she got her ring as a Christmas present made it clear that she had no say in whether she actually wanted to marry him or not.

"Good morning, my love," Severus turned around to face her. "I see you discovered my little gift. Do you like it?"

"It goes perfectly with my eyes," Lily replied, not answering the question. "I don't have a present for you."

"You and our child are all that I need," the wizard smiled happily.

-x-


	10. Chapter 10

If Lily had thought she'd be able to leave Malfoy manor as soon as she had her wand back, she had been mistaken. In fact, she didn't even manage to open their door the next morning.

"Where are you planning to go?" Severus asked when he left the bedroom and found her working on the door.

"Nowhere," Lily sighed. "I just wanted to know whether I can do it. I don't like to feel like a prisoner. I thought now that I have my wand, I'd be able to open the door and stay by choice instead of some silly wards which kept me in."

Luckily Severus bought it. "You won't be able to remove the wards. Nor will I be. Lucius used some kind of blood magic. You wouldn't know the spell since it's dark. Only a Malfoy by blood and those people he wished to include – I and the Dark Lord – can lift the wards and open the door."

"He uses dark magic to guard a door?" Lily asked in disbelief.

Severus shrugged. "The spell is not evil but it landed on the list of prohibited magic when the wizengamot declared blood magic dark. In the past, blood wards were very common. Can you imagine a better way to protect a home than with wards which will only let blood relatives in? There are lots and lots of spells like that," he continued with enthusiasm, "My mother had a lot of books on them. Not as many as Lucius has in his library, of course, but still. What would you like for breakfast?"

Lily was very quiet during the meal. It seemed having a wand didn't change her situation much. She was still a prisoner. For the baby's sake she couldn't afford to try and contact Albus as long as she had no means to leave. She couldn't even be sure whether the headmaster knew that she was still alive. She sighed. The Dark Lord had said that they could move to Severus' house once they were married. Lily admitted to herself that she'd have to wait until they had relocated there before she tried anything, which meant she had to go through with marrying Severus.

-x-

The day of the wedding couldn't come soon enough for Lily although she dreaded it. She didn't want to marry Severus – or anybody else – and thus abandon her union with James but marrying Severus meant leaving the manor and that was something Lily wanted to do desperately.

She was tired of watching her back every minute she spent outside of their quarters. Twice she had had to use her wand to protect herself from Bellatrix.

The first time, the witch had sneaked up on her in a corridor and Lily had only cast a shield spell fast enough because one of the portraits cried out for her to pay attention.

The second time, Bellatrix had attacked Lily from behind a bush when she was taking a walk in the garden with Narcissa. The blonde witch had shouted a full quarter hour at her sister because she had tried to commit murder with her nephew watching.

Severus came upstairs from a meeting with a story about Lucius forbidding his sister in law to set foot on the grounds unless she was coming to meet the Dark Lord. "She tried to get our Lord to overrule Lucius but he refused," the wizard chuckled when he described the tantrum Bellatrix had thrown in detail.

The wedding was small with only a short guest list. Nobody was invited from the bride's side, and the groom's guests were all death eaters who usually attended the meetings at Malfoy manor. They threw a stag party for Severus downstairs the evening before the wedding. Lily didn't ask for details but that meeting involved more screaming than average and Severus smelled of blood even more than usual when he slid into bed beside his intended. Lily wanted to vomit when he scooted over to make her the highlight of his evening.

In the morning Lily found white dress robes in the living room. They were made of fine silk and decorated with delicate embroidery.

"A gift from Lucius," Severus explained.

"White?" Lily asked. "Everybody knows we're getting married because I'm pregnant."

"Nonsense," Severus laughed. "I would have married you anyway. The child just made it easier to get the Dark Lord's permission."

Lily nodded and kept to herself that she'd never have agreed if it wasn't for the baby; James' baby.

Although the wedding was so small, Narcissa and Lucius had gone to some length to make it special. The ballroom was decorated with white flowers, mainly lilies and roses. The chairs for the guests had white covers with big bows on the backside of the back rest.

The guests donned fine robes and many of the men had brought their wives. The Crabbes and Goyles had also brought their sons. They were playing with Draco on a blanket a little apart from the wedding party. Dobby was watching them.

The ministry employee who was supposed to oversee their vows gasped with surprise when he saw Lily. The witch took this as a sign that the world thought she was dead. She gave the man a small smile and hoped to Merlin that he was going to let Albus know that she was still alive. They couldn't obliviate him if he was supposed to enter their union into the ministry records, could they?

Lily barely registered the actual ceremony. She thought of James and their wedding all the time. When she made her vow she mentally asked James' forgiveness. She didn't want to be faithful and loyal to Severus but what choice did she have?

Severus beamed at her like a lunatic. He was obviously more than happy to pledge his undying love for Lily. Hadn't he been a murdering death eater, Lily would have felt sorry for him.

-x-

Severus took Lily to his home after the reception. It was, Lily was relieved to realise, his childhood home at Spinner's End. The witch had never been inside the house when they were younger but she knew where it was and even knew some of the people who lived in the area. She was hopeful to be able to get a message to Albus out from there. If everything else failed she could still ask a neighbour to take a letter to the muggle post.

There were squibs in the order. She could write to one of them and ask them to pass a message on to Albus.

"It needs some cleaning," the man admitted, "but not now, of course. We are newly wed after all."

He led the way upstairs to give Lily the wedding night she deserved in his opinion.

-x-

Life at Spinner's End fell into a routine quickly. Lily waited in vain for an opportunity to contact Albus. Her new husband never left her side. They ate together, worked together and slept together. On those occasions when Severus needed to leave the house for meetings, he took Lily with him. Lily spent the hours her husband spent with the death eaters with Narcissa and Draco.

All in all, life at Spinner's End was worse than at Malfoy Manor. There were no house elves and Lily had to do the cleaning and cooking. And she had never time alone, to think. At Malfoy Manor, she had been left in their rooms for at least a couple of hours every day. Here, there was way to retreat for a while because wherever Lily went, Severus went with her.

Lily tried to get a little alone time by accusing Severus of not trusting her but the man laughed and declared himself so madly in love with her that he was going to die should he be separated from his beautiful wife for more than two minutes.

-x-


	11. Chapter 11

Winter changed into spring and Lily started to show. The witch couldn't have been happier.

"Severus," she said one day in March, "we need to do something. I have only one robe left that fits, and only so. I need clothes."

"I can ask Lucius for Narcissa's maternity robes," Severus offered. "I'm sure she'd gladly give them. They aren't planning for a second child."

"Severus Snape!" Lily glared at her husband angrily. "I will not wear Narcissa's hand me downs! I know we are not rich but we certainly can afford a couple of dresses!"

Severus made a face. "I could sell some potions," he mused.

"You make the finest potions in Britain," Lily nagged. "I don't understand why you don't use your talent to make a little money. Does the Dark Lord forbid you to sell your brews?"

"He never said anything about it. I'll ask, just to be safe." Severus said. "I don't want to anger him."

Lily nodded.

A week later, they went to Diagon Alley. Lily had wrapped her arm around Severus' elbow and was staying close to him. She hoped the gesture would make him a little careless and finally enable her to message Albus.

"We have 40 galleons," Severus reminded the witch. "Get what you need but keep in mind that we can't afford extravagance."

"I just need a few sets of robes," Lily said soothingly. "Madame Malkins should have everything I'm looking for. Can we go to Flourish and Blott's if we have some money left?"

The wizard nodded curtly and led the way to the robes shop.

Madame Malkins herself was in the shop. She greeted her customers jovially and then ignored Severus.

"Maternity clothes, my dear?" she asked Lily. "I think I have just the right things for you. Trust me; in no time at all we'll make you look stunning for your young man!"

The elderly witch led the way to a small department at the back of the shop. There was a rack of robes and two shelves of sweaters and trousers.

Lily chose a couple of robes to try on. Severus watched, looking bored.

"This will take some time," Lily told the man. "Why don't you go and get what you need while I try these on? You really don't have to stand here and bore yourself to death."

Severus smiled lopsidedly. "I'd rather stay. Remember that I have to look at you in your new robes every day for a couple of months. I want my say in what you get."

"Do you doubt my sense of style?" Lily asked angrily.

"Not at all; I know you have one but it's a bit strange." Severus pointed at the flowery robes Lily was holding. "You are not seriously thinking of looking like an exploded flower bed!"

It was an unwise thing to say. Lily had tried to keep her hormones in check when she had been pregnant with Harry. She loved James too much to take her mood swings out on him – it wasn't that he hadn't got his share anyway. With Severus, the witch had fewer inhibitions.

"How can you say that!" she shouted at him, ignoring the fact that they were in public. "That was the most insensitive thing I've ever heard! You claim to love me and insult me at the first opportunity you get! If you don't have anything nice to say then hold your tongue! And now move your butt out of here this instant! You can pick me up when I'm done!"

Severus opened his mouth but before he could say a word, Madame Malkins interfered. "I take it this is your first child?" She took Severus by the elbow and led him to the front part of the shop.

"Let me tell you how to deal with that," Lily heard the witch say before they came out of earshot.

The pregnant witch smiled. Finally! Now all she had to do was give the Madame a message for Albus when she returned and if she was lucky, she'd be back with the order by nightfall.

"Lily! How nice to meet you!"

Lily started. A new customer had joined her in the changing area. It was Marjorie Goyle.

"Hello," Lily greeted the other witch through gritted teeth. "I wasn't aware that you were expecting."

Marjorie chuckled. "It was hard enough to convince Montgomery. He wanted to go with pureblood tradition. You know, one heir, don't divide the family fortune… But I want a little girl. Gregory will survive if we take a dowry for his little sister from the family vaults."

"What if you get another son?" Lily asked despite herself.

Marjorie made a dismissive gesture. "We didn't take any chances. I took a potion. It's a girl. Actually, your husband brewed it for us."

Lily smiled. "He didn't tell me about that one." She shrugged. "I don't join him in the lab very often nowadays. The fumes of some ingredients make me feel nauseous."

"Business is men's work anyway," Marjorie chuckled. "Oh look!" She held up the flowery robes Lily had thrown at Severus. "These are lovely!"

Lily wanted to bang her head on the wall. Here she was finally rid of Severus and unable to do what she wanted so badly because of another death eater's wife taking her time trying on robe after robe.

When Severus returned a half hour later, Lily had achieved nothing but choosing three sets of robes, one pair of trousers – self adjusting – and two t-shirts. The wizard paid for Lily's new clothes and since they really had some galleons left, he led the way down the street towards Flourish and Blott's.

Lily was looking forward to getting some new books. Severus had a small library, and the books in it were partly rare and old but most of them were on the dark arts and Lily really didn't want to read those while she was pregnant. Thanks to the pregnancy she felt sick often enough as it was.

They never reached the book store.

"I can't believe it!"

Somebody gripped Lily's arm from behind and whirled her around.

"Sirius!" Lily wanted to fall on the man's neck. She was safe! She beamed at her late old friend.

"Here we all think you are dead and then I find you arm in arm with that scum!" Sirius cried. "Where were you all that time?" He fell quiet when he caught side of Lily's belly.

"I see. You were whoring yourself to Snivellus. Were you in league with him all that time? Did you sell James and your own son to him?" Sirius asked coldly.

Lily wanted to defend herself, tell Sirius what really happened and that she was doing this to save James' baby but she didn't dare with Severus standing right beside her. She knew Sirius too well. If the man was in a rage, he didn't stop to listen or think; and right now the man was furious. Lily didn't think she could make him listen long enough to help her.

"Stop insulting my wife this instant," Severus growled at the enraged wizard. "You know very well that Lily was destined to be with me from the very start. Potter wouldn't have stood a chance if it wasn't for your interference."

Sirius snorted. "As if! James was in a league you can only dream of! Look at you, Snivellus! Which woman in her right mind would choose you over him?"

Lily held her breath. Could she dare hope? Was Sirius going to figure it out? Would he help her once he understood that she wasn't with Severus of her free will?

"We will not stand here and be insulted," Severus snapped. "Come Lily. We can buy books when there is less riff raff around." He turned on the spot and apparated them home right away.

Lily wanted to scream. She had been so close!

-x-


	12. Chapter 12

Lily allowed herself to hope that Sirius had understood after Severus had taken them away so abruptly. If her late husband's best friend, whom they had trusted with Harry's life and made the boy's godfather, told Albus, Lily thought, the headmaster would come for her.

Being the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus knew where his students lived. Certainly, the wizened old man would think of checking Severus' childhood home if he wanted to find him.

When she hadn't heard from Albus after a week, Lily was devastated.

-x-

In May Lily met the healer again.

Narcissa took her to a small room on the ground floor instead of outside when she came to the manor because her husband had to attend a meeting. The healer came in, cast a couple of spells on her and then declared the baby healthy and strong.

"You shouldn't apparate any more. The baby is getting too big to guarantee you won't splinch it," the death eater said.

Lily nodded. "I will tell my husband. I don't travel much anyway."

Severus made a face when she informed him later, when they were back at home. "I don't want to leave you here, all by yourself."

"I'm a big girl," Lily pointed out. "I can entertain myself for a few hours."

Severus sighed. "Very well; since it cannot be helped."

Lily waited for the next death eater meeting with baited breath. If Severus really left her home alone, this was her opportunity to send Albus a message.

-x-

The witch should have known better than to allow herself to think that Severus was going to leave her alone.

The next time the wizard went to a meeting, he arranged Marjorie Goyle to come and visit Lily. "To keep her company," he explained, seemingly proud of what a doting husband he was.

Marjorie was not bad company if one wanted company. She chatted pleasantly about babies in general, and the one she was expecting in particular. She talked about the nursery she had had the house elves prepare – the Goyles had two and were proud of it – and how she enjoyed buying a new wardrobe for her little baby girl who was, of course, not going to wear Gregory's hand me downs. Not a single piece of them.

Lily listened with a forced smile and served tea. Didn't that woman ever need the toilet? Five minutes would be enough for Lily to send Albus a patronus. The message could be short. "I need help, find me!" would do.

Mr Goyle came to pick up his wife after the meeting. He and Severus both reeked of blood and vomit.

"You stink," Marjorie complained. "How often have I told you to at least cast scorgify on your clothes before you come back after a meeting?"

"Now that would go over well," Mr Goyle snorted. He accepted a glass of firewhiskey when Severus offered it and sat beside his wife on the sofa. Severus sat on the arm of Lily's armchair. "First we go on a raid and once we have rid the world of muggles and mudbloods, all the death eaters pull their wands and clean their clothes." He laughed and Severus joined in.

Lily was glad that the Goyles left shortly after. That, at least, reduced the stench to half.

"When is the Goyles' baby due," Severus asked as he sipped on his second glass of firewhiskey. He had given up his perch on the arm of the chair when their guests left in favour of a comfortable seat on the sofa.

"In September," Lily told him. "Marjorie's so excited about the baby. She talked all the time!"

"September?" Severus asked. "What a pity! That's too late for our children attending Hogwarts together. It would have been perfect. Well, maybe ours will be late. One can still hope."

Lily took the opening immediately. "I don't expect that," she informed the man. "Harry came nearly a whole month before his due date. If this one," she stroked her baby bump lovingly, "takes a leaf out of his book, I expect him rather in July than August."

Severus smiled. "Whenever; anything will be okay as long as he's healthy. Do you really think it's a son?"

The witch shrugged. "As long as the baby is healthy, I will be thrilled about a daughter as much as a son. I just don't want to call the baby 'it'."

-x-

June came and went with a heat wave. Lily suffered. She was now more than eight months pregnant and too big to master the stairs on her own. For the first time she was glad that Severus never left her side.

"I really hope that child will come out rather sooner than later," he said one morning in early July. "I hate to see you suffer."

"That air condition charm you cast on the living room yesterday helped a lot," Lily said softly. Yes, she was suffering, but she hoped with every fibre of her being that the baby was going to take their time. The earlier it was born, the more she had to fear that Severus was going to suspect the truth.

Lily had enough to fear as it was. Harry had been James' spitting image when he was born. With the hair sticking up in every direction and the form of his little face he had looked like a mini James from the very beginning. What if this baby looked like James, too?

Had the circumstances been any different, Lily would have been thrilled to get a mini James to give all the love she could no longer give to the adult James, but as it was she hoped dearly that this baby came after her. Yes, a little redhead would be nice. And safe.

-x-

Luckily the heat wave ended in early July. The baby could come any day now. Lily praised the gods every day she went to bed still pregnant. She did anything she could think of short of taking a potion to keep the baby in.

She moved little, she ate only tiny portions and she used her wand whenever she wanted to lift something.

Severus was bewildered when she levitated her cup to her lips the first time but she told him she felt like she was bursting with magical energy and this was a nice way of getting rid of some of it.

-x-

Lily went into labour on the 30th of July.

"A little early, just like Harry," she told Severus.

"I'm glad," the wizard replied. "you were looking very uncomfortable those last few days."

Lily agreed and declared herself glad, too.

Lucius Malfoy sent them a midwife, the same one who had helped deliver Draco, when Severus notified him that the baby was coming.

The witch who entered their bedroom, where Lily was just breathing through another bout of pain when she arrived, was old enough to be Lily's mother. She had a kind smile and warm brown eyes.

"I was told to let you know that you are excused from today's meeting," she told Severus before she stepped to Lily's side and started to ask her questions about how things were proceeding.

The baby, a little boy, was born on the 31st of July, just when the sun rose.

"What will you call him?" the midwife asked. "If you have a name already, I can fill out the files for you."

"We haven't talked about names yet," Severus admitted. "Lily was suffering so badly from the heat, we didn't think about names."

"In this case," the midwife handed him a roll of parchment, "I'll leave the form here and you can fill it out when you have made your decision. When you're done, you have to take it to the ministry. If you need help, ask Augustus Rookwood. He knows what to do."

Severus showed the witch out which gave Lily a few minutes alone with her new son. The little one had red hair like she had hoped. Lily saw a lot of James in the tiny face but it was not very obvious and the red hair gave a very strong impression of resemblance to his mother. She hoped Severus wasn't going to suspect anything.

"What shall we call you?" Lily asked the tiny baby.

"I'd like something to connect you with your family," she told the child who was looking up at her with big blue eyes. "We could use your grandfather's name but I don't think Severus will agree to call you Harrison."

"Definitely not," Severus said from the door. "And before you ask, we will not call him Tobias either."

"So, what do you suggest?"

"To be honest, I really haven't thought about it yet," Severus admitted.

"I have, back in April, but then I didn't pursue it any longer. Can you hand me the book in the upper drawer of my bedside cabinet? I don't want to lean over so far while holding him."

Severus did as he was asked. "A history book?"

"Yes, why not? They mention a lot of names and we never got to buy a baby name book since you never took me back to Flourish and Blott's. Where was it?" Lily leaved through the book which was not easy using only one arm. "Here!"

"Darian Smythe, 1427 to 1468, was a renowned potions master. His recipes for draughts against various children's illnesses are still in use. Also, he experimented with various ways of stirring and was the first to discover the benefits of counter clockwise stirs for the use of powdered fish scales in healing potions," Lily read out. "I like the sound of the name, Darian, and a potions master would be quite fitting if we don't want to use his grandfathers' names. What do you say?"

"Hm," Severus mused. "Darian Snape. Yes, that has a nice sound to it."

"Then it is decided?" Lily asked with a smile. "Darian?"

Severus nodded and Lily looked down at the baby. "Welcome to the world, little Darian!"

-x-


	13. Chapter 13

Lily couldn't have been happier.

She no longer felt like a whale, Severus left her be for a change and every time she looked at her son she felt like James was smiling at her from the afterlife.

Now that Lily had finally time for herself she hesitated to contact Albus. If the headmaster turned up and something went wrong … no, it was too risky with Darian being so small! It took the new mother three weeks to finally screw up her courage to send Albus a short message.

She conjured her patronus in broad daylight hoping that if Severus looked in the right direction by chance, he'd take it for a trick of the light. The message itself was short.

"Peter Pettigrew works for the Dark Lord. Don't contact me at the time being."

Lily knew not to expect any answer from Albus. Nevertheless she was nervous. She had worked with Albus long enough to know that he wasn't one to accept requests from others without trying to come out with his own, better plan. What if the old wizard decided to come for her although she had asked him to stay away?

When Darian was six weeks old, Severus informed Lily that the Dark Lord wished to see the new Snape.

Lily was scared.

What if the Dark Lord knew spells to determine the parentage of a child? What if he revealed that Severus was not the boy's father? What if he wanted to take her baby away?

There was nothing Lily could do but follow Severus to Malfoy Manor the next evening. Narcissa and Marjorie were waiting for them in the library when they stepped out of the fireplace.

"Oh look, what a sweet boy!" cooed Marjorie. She was heavily pregnant now and Lily was surprised that she had left her home with the baby being due any minute.

"He looks just like you!" cried Narcissa. "Look at that nose! What a lucky boy! – Don't misunderstand me, Lily, but no child deserves to inherit Severus' nose." She chuckle.

Lily joined in but hurried to say "We wouldn't have minded" when she saw Severus' angry glare.

"Come," the wizard ordered, "we aren't here for a social call on Narcissa." He led the way out of the library and all Lily could do was hurry after him.

They were the last to step into the circle of death eaters and Lily wasn't sure whether this was a good thing. She stayed close to Severus and held Darian tight to her chest.

"Are you trying to hide the baby? Is it so ugly?" crowed Bellatrix from the other side of the circle. "Well, it was to be expected. Dirty blood will show."

Lily gathered the child even closer and glared at the other witch. She stepped so close to Severus that she was actually touching him.

"This is my son you are insulting," Severus sneered at his fellow death eater. "It would be wise to be more careful."

Bellatrix drew her wand to answer the threat but she was stopped by the Dark Lord himself.

"Bellatrix," he reminded her, "don't forget that I approved of this union." He walked along the row of death eaters, taking the longer way around the circle to where Severus and Lily stood. He stood in front of Lily and gestured at the baby.

Lily wanted to take Darian and run but she reined her fear in and showed the child to the dark wizard.

"What a beautiful child," the Dark Lord drawled. "Nobody will hold his mother's blood against him," he whirled around to face the group. "It was I who gave permission for him to be born. He will grow up to serve me. He will be the first of my new army. Unlike you, he will not need to join our group. He will grow up in it. He will not know any other way of life."

The dark wizard whirled around again and before Lily could move a single muscle he pointed his wand at the baby and cast a spell. There was a flash of white light and Lily was blinded for a few seconds. When she could see again, she realised that a small dark mark had appeared on her son's neck left side, low enough to cover it with a collar should one wish to.

"It's not yet functional," the Dark Lord said casually. "We'll activate it when he's old enough to take his place in this circle."

"Thank you, my Lord," Severus said beside Lily. "We are honoured."

Lily watched him bow. She hinted a bow, too, dutifully. This was not the moment to anger the Dark Lord.

"And now," the dark wizard ordered, "we have work to do. Severus, send your wife to Narcissa. I'm sure our lovely hostess," he nodded at Lucius, "wants to coo over the baby."

Severus led the way out of the ballroom, back to the library. Lily followed him, unable to think straight.

In her mind echoed the voice of woman. 'The _Dark Lord will mark him as his equal'. Harry had died for nothing. He had never been the child of the prophecy. Darian was._

-x-

If Darian was the child of the prophecy, what was Lily to do? Should she take a risk and try to remove him from the Dark Lord's influence?

No, she decided. If she fled now, all the death eaters would be sent after her. She could not expose Darian to the situation Harry had been in. It was difficult to accept but the boy was safest where he was.

As long as the Dark Lord thought the child was raised to work for him, they had nothing to fear.

Lily decided to stay where she was.

-x-

When Darian was six months old, Lily was summoned to a meeting again.

The Dark Lord told her in very clear terms that he expected her to be useful for his cause. "The boy," he drawled lazily, "can be raised without you if need be. Of course, I'd prefer him to have a mother." He shrugged. "Most of my death eaters' wives don't join us in our raids and I don't expect you to either, although you'd be welcome should you choose to."

"I'd rather serve in a different way," muttered Lily.

"I thought so," the Dark Lord smiled. "Severus tells me you are a good brewer which I consider a lucky chance. You will assist him in his work for us and take over his duties when he's otherwise occupied."

"Yes," nodded Lily meekly, "I will do as you say."

"Excellent," the Dark Lord dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "Now go and tend to your child."

Lily did as she was told. Merlin, she was working for the monster! What had she gotten herself into!

Nevertheless she was glad. She now had access to Severus' potions lab by the Dark Lord's word. Potions, Lily knew, were powerful. They could be used to save lives and to kill; to manipulate and to protect. She needed to think of a way to use the new freedom to her and Darian's advantage.

-x-


	14. Chapter 14

Author's note: If I can manage, and today I can, there will be updates. They may be a little shorter than usual but better than nothing, I hope.

Thank you all for your encouraging feedback.

Now on with the story:

When Darian was a half year old, Severus started talking about trying for another baby.

Lily was horrified.

If she had another child, she was going to love it, no matter who his or her father was. If it was Severus' child, then what should she do? One of her children would be on the losing side of this war not matter the outcome.

"Don't you think this is a bit early to talk about this," she tried to change her husband's mind. "Darian is a very demanding child and if we try now, I'll be in the middle of a pregnancy when he starts walking. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to run after a toddler and prevent him from harming himself all day? I couldn't do it if I was pregnant and the Dark Lord would certainly not thank us if his potions master couldn't brew due to toddler duty. I'd rather wait another year or two."

"Perhaps you're right," Severus admitted. "It's just that enjoy seeing Darian grow up so much, I'd love to have another."

"We're still young," Lily laughed. "We can have all the children we want without having to hurry into things."

-x-

Severus was not enjoying Darian's growing up so much when the boy started to explore the house on his own little feet. Lily was glad. Ever since Darian had started to grip on things to keep his balance – no matter whether they were stable or whether they might drop and crash on the floor – Severus hadn't mentioned another baby again.

-x-

Lily started dosing Darian with wit sharpening potions a week after he had said his first word, Mummy.

Darian was invited to Malfoy Manor for play dates frequently and Lily couldn't have him babble anything incriminating.

"It's amazing," Narcissa said when the two women were walking in the garden, watching their boys chase each other on children's broomsticks, "how Draco prefers Darian's company over Gregory and Vincent's although Darian is so much younger." Draco was nearly four; Darian was nearing his second birthday. "Draco would make such a wonderful big brother."

"Lucius refuses to have a second child?" Lily asked.

The blonde witch nodded. "I told him I was going to take a potion to make sure it was a girl like Marjorie did but he won't hear about it. He won't have any competition for his heir. I tried to explain how much I enjoyed having two sisters; to no avail."

"What did he say?"

Narcissa snorted. "He said the only reason my father had three daughters was that he was unable to sire a son. He even hinted that Bella and I wouldn't exist had Andromeda been a boy. We had a bad quarrel."

"I'm very sorry, Cissy," Lily said sincerely. "I wish Lucius wouldn't be so stubborn."

Narcissa shrugged. There was nothing she could do about it. "Darian has become a good flyer," she pointed out. "He's a natural on the broomstick. Where did he get the ability from? I don't remember you or Severus be particularly good flyers."

"I think I saw a cup with the Prince name on it in the trophy room at Hogwarts," Lily lied. "Maybe the talent skipped a few generations."

"Maybe," Narcissa agreed. "My great grandmother was a good legilimens but she didn't pass it on to my grandmother. The talent was dormant until Bellatrix was born."

"Bellatrix is a legilimens?" Lily suppressed a shudder. That made the witch even more dangerous and Bellatrix had not forgotten about the humiliation she had suffered. She tried to lessen the Dark Lord's trust in Lily and by extension Severus whenever she could. So far, she hadn't been successful but Lily knew better than to be careless.

-x-

Once Darian was a little older, the Dark Lord became more demanding when it came to Lily's time. His plans involved more and more potions and Severus could no longer brew them without Lily's assistance.

Had he so far tried to take over most, or even better all, of their brewing, this didn't work any longer. Lily spent hours at their lab every day while Darian was alone upstairs. The witch tried to keep him entertained by charming some of his toys and of course there were heavy wards on the window and door of the boy's room. There was a little bell which he was supposed to ring when he needed the bathroom.

Darian didn't complain. Lily explained to him why his mother had so little time for him and why it was important that he didn't keep her from work and thanks to the wit sharpening potion with which Lily laced his milk every morning, the boy understood in spite of his young age.

As there were more plans involving potions – Severus brewed the poisons the Dark Lord asked for, Lily took over the healing remedies for wounded death eaters – there were fewer raids.

The Dark Lord sent his fighters after people he suspected to be members of the Order of the Phoenix but for muggles and muggleborns he used poisons nowadays.

There was a particularly nasty bout of measles in London when the death eaters poisoned the water, there were no deaths but muggle life became difficult for a month. On other occasions the Dark Lord singled out families or even individuals and had his potions used on them.

Working with potions was easy when you wanted to harm muggles because they were not even aware of the concept and thus defenceless. Things were more difficult with muggleborns since those usually had a magical education and some of them were very powerful. Lily could tell that Severus enjoyed himself a lot when he was brewing potions for muggleborns.

"It's like a battle of wits," he explained when she mentioned it. "I have to be clever or they will discover the brew and you know me; I like a good challenge."

Personally, Lily thought it disgusting that her husband was glad about challenge when the prize was another person's life but there was nothing she could do.

-x-

Shortly after Darian's third birthday, Lily was called to a meeting.

She had no idea what it was about. They had got their orders, everything was going well. So, why did the Dark Lord want to see her?

Lily gasped when they entered the Malfoy ballroom. The circle of death eaters she had expected was not there. Only the Dark Lord, Lucius and a man lying on the marble floor.

"Ah, here you are," the Dark Lord waved them closer. "We have a little problem here." He pointed at the man on the floor. "One of my faithful death eaters met one of Dumbledore's inner circle when he was … let's say he didn't have his full powers to his disposal. Anyway, my faithful death eater had the presence of mind to capture the man. I know how close he is to Dumbledore. He must know everything about their funny little order."

"But he won't say a word," muttered Lily.

"I see you know him well," mused the Dark Lord. "I thought so since he was your first husband's best friend. Make him talk."

Lily did some quick thinking while their prisoner glared daggers at her from the floor.

"My Lord," she then said, "I don't think any of the means you normally use will be successful with this man. As you said yourself, I know him well, and Sirius Black is easily the most stubborn man I know. Seeing who I'm married to, this is to say something." She made sure to smile at Severus to take the edge off her statement. "I think you have to be patient. He will not bow to pain or torture. I'd try my luck with desperation."

The Dark Lord looked at his prisoner calculatingly. "That could be a way. Lock him up and see how he feels in a week or two."

"I won't tell you anything," spat Sirius, "no matter what the traitor says."

"We'll see," mused the dark wizard. "We'll see."

-x-


	15. Chapter 15

Since Lily's supposed treason upset Sirius obviously, Lily was assigned his keeper. Lucius showed her where his wife's cousin – not that the blond wizard cared about the relationship – was kept.

"Well," he said as he led the way up to the wing where Lily had spent the first months of her time with Severus, "this is your opportunity to prove yourself. If you manage to get Black to talk, nobody will doubt your loyalty to our cause. Even Bella might finally shut up." He smiled at Lily calculatingly.

"Nothing I do can shut your sister in law up," Lily pointed out.

Lucius laughed. "True," he admitted. "She hates you with a passion. She's so completely different from Narcissa, it's sometimes hard to believe they are sisters."

Lily nodded. "Narcissa is gentle where Bella is fierce; I have no doubt though that Narcissa is equally powerful. She's just subtler in how she uses her magic. Maybe it's Draco. She's so dedicated to her child."

"She's a wonderful mother to my heir," Lucius agreed.

"She'd be to any child you give her," Lily pointed out.

The blond wizard stopped in his tracks. "Did Narcissa ask you to break that topic with me?" He glared at Lily angrily.

"Not at all," Lily hurried to admit. "I was just telling you what I thought. It's not my business. Forgive me."

Lucius nodded and then turned to the door to his left. He waved his wand and muttered in an old language Lily couldn't understand properly. It could have been ancient Greek or one of the old languages which used runic writing. Lily couldn't tell. She obediently raised a hand and touched it to the door when Lucius signalled her to.

"The door now answers to you," the wizard explained. "It will let you in and out. You cannot take any other person in or out."

Lily nodded. "I understand. Thank you for using that kind of wards. It's good to know it won't do him any good if he attacks me. He still can't get out."

"He's angry enough at you to attack you even when nothing comes of it. He's a Gryffindor. Be careful!" Lucius smirked, well aware that Lily was a Gryffindor, too.

The witch didn't answer but instead tried the doorknob. The door opened obediently.

"Sirius," she greeted the man sitting on the bare wooden floor. The room was empty but for a mattress in one corner. The only window was small and too high up to actually look out of it. This room had nothing in common with the quarters Lily had shared with Severus in this wing of the manor.

"What do you want?" Sirius growled.

Lily looked at her old friend in silence. She wanted to hug him and tell him that she was going to find a way to get him out of here but she couldn't. a, it was to dangerous to let Sirius know that she was not a traitor to the order as long as he was a prisoner and b, she had no idea yet how to accomplish that.

"I'm here to make you talk. The Dark Lord says he can wait. I'm to tell you that you won't be fed unless you exchange information for food. I'm allowed to bring you water though."

"I don't want your water," Sirius spat.

Lily shrugged. "If the Dark Lord can wait, so can I." She left.

Since it was to be expected that Sirius wouldn't spill the order's secrets for at least several days, Severus went home to fetch Darian and they returned to their quarters on the same floor as Sirius's prison cell.

Lily was glad. That way she could look after her son and take care of Sirius easier.

Darian was thrilled to live under a roof with his best friend. He was invited to Draco's room barely five minutes after he arrived at the manor. Lily asked Narcissa if she minded looking after Darian when she needed time for assignment with Sirius and Severus was otherwise busy and Narcissa agreed gladly to watch over the two boys playing.

Lily returned to Sirius's room with a jug of water and a cup once Darian was safely put at Draco's room.

"Why do you make this so difficult?" she asked. She filled water into the cup and held it out to the wizard on the floor. "You know that you can't survive without food forever. You also know that you want to live. Don't be mistaken, Sirius. Starving is a long and painful death. You will talk. Why don't you spare us all the time and you the suffering, and talk now?"

"You wish!" Sirius knocked the cup from the witch's hand with an angry swing of his arm. "Get out of here, I have nothing to say!"

Lily rolled her eyes but didn't leave. "Always one for drama, Sirius." She refilled the cup and held it out again. "Drink!"

"And let you poison me? Certainly not!"

"You need to drink," Lily pointed out patiently, "and nobody else will bring you anything. This is your only chance."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Sirius stared daggers at Lily. "First you killed James, then his son and now his best friend!"

Lily turned on her heel and fled the room. How dare he!

Severus was returned a quarter hour after Lily had stormed into their quarters.

"What happened here?" he asked when he saw the shards of porcelain and flying book pages.

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. Sirius said something and I was so upset, I lost control of my magic for a moment. I'll repair it in a moment."

"What did he say?" Severus waved his wand at the room at large and snippets of paper started to reassemble to books. "What had you upset enough to destroy half my library?"

"He accused me of killing James and Harry," Lily admitted.

Severus snorted. "Everybody knows you had nothing to do with it."

"Not Sirius, obviously." Lily sighed. She didn't even want to start to think what the other order members thought of her. She hoped that Dumbledore knew she was still on their side after she had sent him the message about Peter – the small man came with much less useful information nowadays.

"He doesn't count anyway," Severus said and pulled her in a hug. "Who cares what he thinks?"

Lily did but she knew better than to say that.

-x-


	16. Chapter 16

Sirius was just as stubborn as Lily had known him to be. By orders of the Dark Lord, he didn't get anything to eat but he held his tongue. The only thing Lily would hear from him were insults and more accusations of having murdered his best friend and his godson.

It was not easy to stand.

"It doesn't seem to work," the Dark Lord said casually when Lily reported to him how things were going. Only Lucius and Severus were present to witness Lily's account. The witch was not surprised. The Dark Lord wanted to determine himself what and when to divulge to his death eaters if Lily got information from Sirius.

Lily hinted a nod. "I hadn't thought it would work that quickly," she explained. "I've known Sirius for many years. He's easily the most stubborn man I ever met."

"So what are you going to do? Outwait him?"

The witch smiled. "The next thing I'm going to do is change my pattern of visits. So far, I let him sleep at night."

The Dark Lord laughed. It was not a pleasant sound. "Severus," he cried, "I can see what you see in her. It's those small things that make a person truly … interesting."

Severus bowed. "I told you she had it in her," he smirked.

Since the Dark Lord had approved, Lily started visiting Sirius by night. He cursed at her when she woke him the first time but soon they were back where they had started. Lily went to Sirius's room, made her little speech about him making things unnecessarily difficult, and Sirius insulting and accusing her.

The lack of proper sleep showed on Sirius's face faster than the lack of food. His face looked gaunt, with deep rings under his eyes.

When Lily thought her old friend couldn't take it much longer, she went to his room shortly before dawn. She yawned before she entered. She really looked forward to the moment when this was over and she could sleep properly.

Sirius woke only when she touched him with her toe.

"What do you want?" he growled. "I told you I'm not going to tell you anything! Kill me already!"

"Alive you are worth so much more," Lily smiled. "We can keep you in this cell forever. The door is spelled so that no human being can pass through it but me. Sooner or later you will give us what we want and all your occlumency training will have been for naught."

She emphasized the word 'human' in her little speech, hoping that Sirius would understand. He stared at her, insecure and full of disbelief. When she gave him the tiniest of nods, he transformed.

"I see you refuse to speak again," Lily said to the room at large. "Well, starve if you will." She avoided looking at the big shaggy dog which was sitting in Sirius's place. Then she turned on her heel and marched out of the room.

The dog followed her and, like the witch had hoped, passed the door easily. They made their way downstairs and to the front door carefully. When Lily opened it, the dog slid out quietly but not before licking her hand.

Lily returned to her and Severus's rooms.

"Did he talk already?" Severus yawned when Lily crawled into bed, making sure to wake him.

She shook her head and snuggled up to the potions master. "No," she yawned, "he's a menace. But I'll make him talk. You have no idea what he calls me when I go there! For that alone I will make him spill every piece of information on Dumbledore he has and then live with the shame."

"The living with the shame part could be difficult," Severus pointed out and gathered Lily closer. "Once he told us what we want to know he won't live long enough to feel much shame."

Lily shrugged. "I can ask the Dark Lord for a week when he offers me a reward."

Severus giggled. "It's those tiny things I love you for."

The witch waited until after noon the next day. That had to be enough time for Sirius to leave the grounds around Malfoy Manor. Lily had no idea which kind of wards Lucius had in place around the grounds but there had been several visitors in the morning, the Lestranges, two witches from Madame Malkins' to get Draco's measurements for his new winter wardrobe; a delivery from Paris – it seemed that Lucius had bought Narcissa new furniture for the winter garden she had recently had built in the west wing of the manor – and one from Hogsmeade.

Lily went up to the prison room and then came rushing down to the ground floor shouting for Lucius to help her.

"What's the reason for this undignified behaviour?" Lucius asked, looking out of the library where he was probably conferring with the Dark Lord.

"He's gone! Sirius Black is gone!" Lily cried.

She had been right in her assumption that the Dark Lord was in the library because he came to the door a moment after she had said that Sirius had fled.

"How could that happen?" he snarled angrily.

Lily bowed. "I don't know! Lucius spelled the door to let me through and nobody else but there must have been a mistake!"

The Dark Lord looked at Lucius calculatingly. "Did you really spell a door so that you, the master of the manor, or I could not pass?"

Lucius bowed, too. "I didn't. When I told Lily that, I meant that Sirius Black could not come through the door. Several people could have. I, you, in fact anybody bearing the dark mark; it's easier to use the mark for the spell than blood relationship."

"When did you last see him?" the Dark Lord returned into the library and motioned Lily and Lucius to follow.

"This very morning," Lily said and sought eye contact with the dark wizard.

The Dark Lord accepted the offer and dived into the memory of her last visit with Sirius, how he had asked her to kill him and how she had mocked him. There was no memory of the shaggy dog since Lily had not looked at it in the prison cell. The dark wizard left Lily's thoughts the moment memory Lily left the room.

"He was still there when you left," the Dark Lord acknowledged.

Lily bowed again. "I fulfilled my assignment to the best of my ability! I was so close and now somebody ruined it! This was my one chance to prove myself truly useful!"

"We will find out who's to blame and they will not go unpunished," the Dark Lord promised.

"Thank you!"

-x-


	17. Chapter 17

The investigation was a short one since there hadn't been very many people in the house. The Dark Lord deemed the matter important enough to look into it personally, meaning that he had Lucius assemble the Snapes, the Malfoys and the Lestranges at the ballroom after declaring the delivery people of no interest since they hadn't even known that Sirius Black was at the manor.

When everybody was there, the Dark Lord had them come forward one by one and looked into their eyes.

Lily's 'interrogation' was the shortest because the dark wizard had already seen her memory of her last attempt to make Sirius talk. Narcissa's was equally short as were Lucius's and Severus's.

Rodolphus was next and the Dark Lord took a lot more time to see in his mind.

"Your husband has no idea where you were for full ten minutes when you visited earlier today, Bella," he then drawled. "Where were you, Bella?"

Bellatrix paled. She failed to look her master in the face. Instead she looked everywhere and nowhere, clearly nervous.

"I'm waiting for an answer."

Even with the small number of meetings she had attended, Lily could tell that the Dark Lord was not only getting impatient but also angry.

"I sneaked up the stairs," Bellatrix admitted, "I wanted to see whether I could get at the mudblood somehow."

"Don't tell me you're still holding that grudge," snorted Voldemort. He moved very fast, grabbed the witch's chin and stared into her eyes.

"Occlumency?" he roared after a minute. "You dare use occlumency in my presence?"

Bellatrix winced. "I was not fast enough lowering my shields, my Lord! Forgive me! You have full access now!"

Too late. The Dark Lord had already come to a verdict. "Nobody wants to see the fake memories you may produce now. Honesty needs no time to arrange. Admit that you went upstairs to set your cousin free."

"Why would I do that?" cowered the witch. "I hate Sirius! He's a blood traitor of the worst kind! He associated with the worst kind of wizards, James Potter and his Gryffindor bunch, from a young age! Why would I help him escape his just fate?"

"Blood is thicker than water," Lily muttered.

"See," the Dark Lord said silkily, "everybody knows why you'd do it. Crucio!"

It was horrible. Lily had never in her life watched anything like that. She knew, of course, what happened at death eater meetings, if not in detail she had at least a good idea, but she had never witnessed the Dark Lord punish any of his death eaters like that.

The man held the cruciatus curse for a long time. Lily thought Bellatrix would not survive. Everybody present looked sick. Narcissa obviously suffered when her sister's screams of pain became lower because the witch had screamed herself hoarse. Rodolphus twitched several times as if to throw himself at the Dark Lord's feet to ask for mercy for his wife but he didn't dare move.

Even Lucius and Severus looked paler than usual.

It was Narcissa who couldn't stand it any longer in the end. "My Lord!" she cried. "How can she redeem herself when you kill her? Please, show mercy!" She moved into the circle as if to throw herself between the Dark Lord and her sister but Lucius was quick enough. He grabbed his wife's wrist and pulled her in a hug.

"The decision is not ours, beloved," he muttered and stroked his wife's hair.

Lily realised that the blond man had caught the witch in a way that his shoulder would cover one of her ears and his hand the other, thus softening the sound of Bellatrix's screams for her.

The Dark Lord held his curse for another couple of moments before he lowered his wand. "You are right," he addressed Narcissa and Lucius let go of her immediately so that she could face the older wizard. "We need her alive if she's to work to win forgiveness. You are fierce in protecting your family as becomes a woman. Would you really have thrown yourself at my wand's tip?"

Narcissa bowed and in spite of the tears wetting her face, Lily thought she had never seen such a display of dignity. "Not at my Lord's wand's tip but in front of my sister."

The Dark Lord laughed. "Well answered, witch, well answered. Return to your child now and prepare what you need to tend to your sister in a little while. Lily, go with her, she may need some potions."

Lily acknowledged the order with a small bow and followed Narcissa out of the room, glad that she didn't have to watch whatever else the Dark Lord had in store for Bellatrix.

Narcissa went up to the wing she and Lucius used as quarters and called for Dobby who had become their sole house elf. Lily was not sure when that had happened but she hadn't seen the other elf in months.

"Prepare the smaller guest room," the blonde witch ordered. "My sister is hurt. We need warm water and cloths, the emergency potions kit and milk chocolate." That said, she led the way on to Draco's room where they found the two boys playing with a set of magical blocks happily.

Draco was trying to teach Darian how to build a bridge; a tricky feat because you needed to apply just a little bit of magic to keep the construction in balance. Darian had to concentrate very hard to accomplish what Draco did with ease, thanks to his age.

"He's good," Narcissa remarked after she had closed the door softly. "You can be very proud."

"He's definitely powerful," Lily agreed. She didn't mention how the wit sharpening potion she slipped to her son with his milk every day helped the child concentrate and thus enabled him to use his magic a lot better than your average three year old.

The women went to the room Narcissa had prepared for her sister. Dobby was just changing the sheets, the things he had been ordered to bring were already there.

"Can you think of anything else that might help?" Narcissa asked the red haired witch.

Lily went through the small basket full of vials quickly. "You have nerve tonic, pain relief and breathe-easy. You can't feed her endless amounts of potions anyway. Those three should be the ones she needs most. You also thought to prepare chocolate, so I think we have everything we need."

They had to wait for nearly an hour until the door opened – Severus held it – and Lucius levitated Bellatrix in. The dark witch's face was covered in bruises and there was also blood.

"What happened?" gasped Lily.

"He made her own husband beat her for her misconduct," Lucius whispered.

Narcissa pulled the comforter aside so that the men could lift Bellatrix – the witch was barely conscious but she moaned in pain when they touched her, so Lily assumed that the bruises were not limited to her face – onto the bed.

Rodolphus was right behind them, nervous and worried. He wrung his hands. "There was nothing I could have done," he muttered.

"Nothing," Severus agreed softly.

All three men looked scared.

Lily sent them out once Bellatrix was on the bed. She helped Narcissa dose her sister with the potions she had prepared and then unlace the hapless witch's dress to apply a salve to the bruises that covered her body.

-x-


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks to Narcissa and Lily, Bellatrix recovered quickly. It was only two days later that she left the small guest room to attend a death eater meeting.

"My Lord," the witch walked into the room with purpose but bowed in devotion when she reached her spot in the circle. "I must ask you to reconsider the circumstances of Sirius Black's escape! I do not ask because I question my Lord's wisdom in choosing to punish me for learning occlumency but because I know that I'm innocent." She paused before she continued and glared at the assembled group, one by one. "This means that there is a traitor among us. I can't bear the thought of somebody betraying my lord and going unpunished. Therefore I plead with you, my Lord!"

Voldemort looked at the witch calculatingly. "You are correct, Bellatrix. If you were, indeed, innocent, the traitor is still unpunished. That must not be allowed."

Again he called them all forward, one by one, and looked into their minds.

Lily was surprised when the Dark Lord cried out in anger when he was looking into Severus's mind.

"You went to Dumbledore?" the dark wizard cried. "Is your faith in me so little that you had to go to that old fool in order to get the girl? And what did you mean by 'anything'? Did you spy on me, Severus?"

Severus bowed humbly. "No, my Lord! Dumbledore never asked anything of me. You said yourself that he's an old fool!" He stood and looked straight in the Dark Lord's eyes, offering his mind for inspection.

"Your mistake may prove useful," the older wizard mused. "Since it seems that we cannot identify the traitor on our end, we shall try to get him from the other. Severus, you will return to Dumbledore and get the information I seek from him."

The assembled death eaters gasped. "How am I to do this, my Lord? Dumbledore will hardly invite me for tea." Severus had paled considerably.

"Use your Slytherin talents! Tell him you are scared that I find out about your infraction! Ask for his protection! Do what you have to do to identify the traitor in our midst!"

Severus bowed again and left as soon as the Dark Lord dismissed his followers. Lily followed Severus dutifully. They picked up Darian from Draco's room and returned to their home at Spinner's End.

-x-

Lily waited for Severus with baited breath when he went to Dumbledore. When he finally returned, he stayed for mere moments.

"It worked. I have to go to the manor to inform the Dark Lord," he announced and off he was.

Lily stayed up, wondering what this new development might mean for her and Darian. When Severus finally returned – it was after midnight – he didn't say anything but kissed his wife passionately before he led the way up to the bedroom.

-x-

"We have to pack up our belongings," Severus informed the family the next morning at the breakfast table.

"Where are we going?" asked Lily.

Severus smiled smugly. "You are talking to the new potions instructor at Hogwarts School. Dumbledore thinks that he can protect me better if I stay at Hogwarts most of the time. He insists I bring my family to the castle. The Dark Lord approves. So pack what you think you will need. We won't return here before Christmas or maybe even later."

Lily had no idea whether to scream or to cheer. That was it? It was so simple? Severus took her and Darian to Dumbledore! Certainly the old wizard would find a way to help her get away from Severus and his murderous dark lord!

Darian was not so thrilled about the prospect to move to Scotland. "But I know nobody there!" he complained. "I want to play with Draco!"

"I'm certain we can arrange visits," Lily soothed, "can't we, Severus?"

Severus didn't look like he cared about that at the time being but he nodded absentmindedly and found himself with his arms for of boy for it. He hugged the child quickly before he pushed him back to Lily.

Lily smiled. It didn't look like Severus was any longer enthusiastic about having another child. Darian was often more than enough for the young wizard. Part of Lily was sad for Severus because she knew what his childhood had been like and why he didn't know how to deal with Darian's enthusiasm. As it was, this worked in her favour and she was glad about it.

The small family spent the morning packing. Lily prepared soup for lunch and after cleaning the kitchen and a last inspection of the lab in the basement, they apparated from their back yard.

The headmaster waited for them at the gates to the Hogwarts grounds.

"Ah, here you are, Severus," the old man cried. "Welcome! And welcome to you, Mrs Snape and young Master Snape!" He shook their hands as he greeted them. "Let me show you your quarters first."

They walked up the hill to the castle. Darian was beside himself for being allowed to live in such a big building. He asked whether there were knights in there.

Dumbledore laughed. "No, my dear boy," he explained, "we don't have knights, we have singing suits of armour, though, and ghosts, some of which have been knights before they became ghosts."

Darian squealed with delight. "Wait until Draco hears that! They have no ghosts at Malfoy Manor! Right, Dad?"

Severus agreed that he had never heard about a ghost at Malfoy Manor.

The traditional quarters for Hogwarts' potions instructor were in the dungeons, near Slytherin house, but Dumbledore led the way up to the first floor.

"The dungeon quarters are too small for a family," he explained. "Luckily you are not our first potions teacher with a wife and child." He opened a door which led into a small unused classroom. On one of the walls hung a portrait of a wizard who was preparing a potion in a small cauldron on his table. A magical blue flame was burning beneath the cauldron and the wizard was busy adding ingredients.

"Don't forget the moonstone, Bernard," Dumbledore said instead of a greeting. The painted wizard ignored him but the portrait swung back and revealed the entrance to another room.

There was a small flat hidden behind the portrait of Bernard, sitting room, two bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen. Dumbledore showed them a small door in the master bedroom which led to the potions office down in the dungeons. It was not magical. There was a narrow winding staircase behind the door.

"Why don't you unpack your things, Mrs Snape, while I show your husband his classroom and office?" Dumbledore smiled and ushered Severus onto the staircase.

Lily nodded. She'd get her opportunity to talk to Albus later. With a smile on her lips, she went to Darian's new room and started to unshrink his toys.

-x-


	19. Chapter 19

There was not much time left before the new school year started. Severus had to restock the potions classroom with everything he was going to need for his lessons during the school year.

This meant that he first needed to know what was actually necessary to follow the curriculum. Which brews were required? Did he want – or was he maybe even supposed – to have the students work in pairs or even groups? He couldn't rely on his own potions lessons with Professor Slughorn. His old head of Slytherin was notorious for giving in to whims and making them brew 'fun potions' which, Severus was sure of it, were not part of the official curriculum.

Therefore Severus had to read the curriculum for all seven years first. Then he had to go over the books.

It came as a pleasant surprise that the teacher's edition of every book held a list of ingredients needed at hand to complete a number of twenty standard potions each year. The book said that the list provided the information what was necessary if every student brewed on their own. It suggested letting them brew in groups from time to time and use the ingredients saved in the process for extra potions and bonus work. There was also a small list of ingredients the author thought would come in handy to give the teacher the opportunity to change what they had the students brew from time to time.

Lily helped Severus make an inventory of the store cupboards. It took them nearly two days to clean out the things that had seen their best time years ago and make a list of what was actually there and in good condition.

Then Severus added up what he was going to need to buy and went to Albus with the list. Lily offered to take it upstairs to give Severus time to clean out the teacher's desk in his classroom. Horace Slughorn had left behind stacks of papers and drawers full of knick-knacks he had confiscated from students over the years.

Severus refused. This was his job and he was going to do it properly. If Lily wanted to help, she could clean out the knick-knack drawer.

Lily did as she was told, disappointed that Severus had taken away her opportunity to speak with Albus without him being there.

The drawer in question turned out to be a box of treasure. There was vanishing ink, various prank items which could possibly come in handy at some point, a small booklet on love spells (Lily thought it could never hurt to know a spell with which to make her husband her unresisting puppet without using an unforgivable curse) and lots of old sweets. Lily disposed of the sweets and kept the rest.

When Lily wasn't helping Severus she spent her time showing Darian the castle and the grounds. The boy was excited when he realised there was a quidditch pitch and even more when Lily promised to go flying with him when classes were in session.

She showed her son the lake and the giant squid. Darian found the squid ugly at first sight but when Lily fed it some toast and the squid waved its tentacles at them playfully, the boy admitted that this was a rather interesting creature.

They met Hagrid on their way to the forest. Lily wanted to show Darian how far he was allowed to go.

"Hello Lily," the gameskeeper greeted the witch coolly. "I heard you live at the castle now."

"Yes," Lily replied carefully. Hagrid had a reputation for spilling secrets when he was not supposed to. The less the friendly man, whom Lily knew well from her days with the order of the phoenix, knew, the better. "Severus is the new potions teacher."

"Ah, Severus," Hagrid's tone was much cooler than Lily remembered it to be. "Did you really have to run off with him before James was even cold?"

Lily was taken aback by the open question. "I didn't," she said defensively. "I grieved for James longer than could be expected."

Hagrid snorted. "How old is the boy then?"

"Three," the boy stated proudly.

"I can do maths, you know," Hagrid glared at Lily.

It was sad that an old friend had such a bad opinion of her but Lily couldn't risk giving this friend any information of what had really happened. Not before Albus knew the truth and she and Darian were safe under his wing.

The Snapes were introduced to the student body at the welcoming feast. Severus got a polite round of applause, as did Lily and Darian. Lily had been prepared for a reaction similar to Hagrids but nothing of the sort happened.

It was then that Lily understood that for those who hadn't known them personally, James and Harry just two fatalities on a long list of deaths during this war. Since they had been dead for almost four years, most people didn't even remember they had ever existed.

It was sad to admit to herself that her beloved family was being forgotten but since it meant she wouldn't have to deal with accusations on a daily basis, Lily didn't complain.

The first days of teaching were exhausting for Severus. He returned to their quarters in a bad mood and they had their first real quarrel when he told Darian to go away and leave him alone. The look of devastation on the boy's face was all it took to push Lily into action.

"How dare you speak like that to our son!" she raged at the man. "I don't care how tired you are! A friendly word, an explanation is not asked too much for your child!"

"You could have prepared him to leave me alone after a day like this!" Severus shouted back.

"How was I to know just what a lousy father you are!" Lily cried.

Severus stopped in his tracks. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "We can play after dinner, Darian."

The boy nodded, giving the man he knew as his father a tearful smile.

"Then let's eat quickly," Lily huffed.

They went to the Great Hall for the meal, like was expected not only of staff but also of their families if they chose to bring them to the castle.

Lily didn't like eating at the Great Hall but it was something she couldn't help. Many of the teachers were members, or at least associates, of the order. They had not forgotten about James and Harry. How could they? James had been in Albus's inner circle. The Potter family vaults had provided the finances for plenty of order activities, mostly enabling people who had been targeted by the death eaters to leave the country and start a new life elsewhere if they chose to.

Those people could all – like Hagrid had put it – do maths. It was obvious to them that Lily had gotten involved with Severus immediately after James's death and she could not explain her reasons for doing so. The true parentage of Darian had to remain a secret at all cost.

Therefore Lily put up with the disapproving glares from Minerva and the teachers' general unwillingness to speak with her more than necessary.

-x-


	20. Chapter 20

After three weeks, Lily had had enough.

"How come the other teachers are in a good mood and chatty at dinner and you sit there like you have run a marathon?" she snapped at Severus when they returned from another uncomfortable meal at the Great Hall.

"They are not new to teaching. They know how to do it efficiently," Severus pointed out defensively.

"You had nearly a month to learn!"

"A month is not enough to learn how to tame a bunch of unwilling teenagers," Severus admitted. "Lily, the upper years are barely younger than I am. Most of the boys are taller and broader than I. It's difficult."

Lily looked at her husband in astonishment. This was a man who stood his ground in a circle of death eaters! How could he be troubled by a group of children?

"Have you asked some of your fellow teachers for advice?" Lily asked. "As you put it, they know how to do it efficiently."

Severus snorted. "They won't talk to me any more than to you."

Lily sighed. "So you will have to find a solution yourself. Do you think there is anything I can do to help you?" If the other teachers would not talk to her, she at least wanted Severus in a mood where she could count on his company to be a little more pleasant. Lily was not the type of person to go without social interaction for long.

Severus shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe you could watch one of my lessons and tell me what I'm doing wrong?"

Lily agreed and the next day she was found sitting at the back of all of Severus's classes with Darian looking at a book on magical creatures beside her.

It was disaster. There was no other word for it.

Severus entered the classroom and started his lessons. The students ignored him. He had to threaten them to give them fail grades to even get them to work at all and when the students started their brewing, they did an abysmal job at it. They didn't look at the instructions properly and there was no diligence in their preparation of ingredients.

In the evening, Severus and Lily sat in their small living room and discussed what Lily had seen.

"I understand why you are in a bad mood," the witch admitted. "They refuse to learn and their work was so sloppy, it's a miracle there weren't any accidents."

Severus agreed. "I'm a catastrophe as a teacher. I know it and I can't quit or the Dark Lord will have my hide." He covered his face with his hands in a gesture of despair. "What can I do Lily? You know how he is when his assignments are not completed to his standards. I don't want to die!"

Lily sighed. "Try to think back to your time at Hogwarts. What did our teachers do?"

Between the two of them, they came up with the idea that their teachers had established quiet before they started the actual lesson but they could not say what they had done to do so. The class had just fallen quiet when McGonagall or Flitwick – or any of the others – had entered the room.

Lily watched her husband suffer for another week before she decided he could not do this much longer before he had to admit defeat.

She took Darian up to her old head of house's office one afternoon, hoping that Minerva still held her office hours at the same times she had when Lily was her student. She knocked at the office door and was bid to enter by the old witch's warm voice.

Minerva looked not so friendly when she realised who had come to see her.

"Minerva," Lily greeted her shyly. "I know that you don't wish to talk to me and why." She looked at Darian pointedly. "But I need to talk with you, please!"

The older witch glared down at the little boy. Darian smiled up at her, oblivious to the woman's anger and offered a "Good afternoon, Madam!" in his cheery children's voice. "I am Darian! It's nice to meet you."

"Hello, Darian," Minerva answered despite herself. She smiled down at the child as she looked at him properly for the very first time since he and his parents had arrived to Hogwarts. "Lily," the old witch gasped suddenly. "The boy looks just like…"

"His brother, yes." Lily looked at Minerva imploringly.

The head of Gryffindor house looked at the younger witch searchingly. "His brother," she then agreed.

Darian nodded. "I had an older brother," he thought it necessary to explain, "but unfortunately he is dead. It's a pity. I'd have loved to have a brother to play with. Mummy says I remind her of him a lot."

Minerva smiled and bid Lily to sit in front of the fireplace. "Would you like to look at one of my books, Darian?" she asked the child and when he nodded gave him a thick tome full of pictures of transfigurations. Darian squealed with delight when the hedgehog on page one turned into a bird before his very eyes.

"What can I do for you, child?" she asked Lily once the child was otherwise occupied.

Lily sighed. "So much and nothing at all," she admitted.

"Does Severus know?" Minerva asked.

Lily gasped. "No! And he must never learn. I'd be long dead if he didn't think…" Lily hung her head. "I'm caught in a web of half-truths, Minerva. For the boy's sake I cannot escape or I'd put him in the same position Harry was in."

"I understand," Minerva touched Lily's hand gently and it was all it took to open the flood gates. Once Lily had found an understanding soul she could not hold back any longer. "I've been under so much pressure," she cried into the older witch's shoulder. "For four years I've been always on the watch. I could not slip for a single second. It is so difficult!"

"And now everybody thinks bad of you and things are not better here than elsewhere." Minerva patted Lily's back soothingly.

"They are worse," Lily confessed. "At the other places, I at least had Severus to rely on. He loves me in his own twisted way and he tries to be a good husband. But here, he fights a losing battle in his classroom and all he does when he returns to our quarters is snap at us. He can't quit teaching or we'd all suffer the consequences but he has no idea how to teach. Oh Minerva, we're going to die and all I did to save the child will have been in vain!"

"We won't let you die," Minerva promised. She let Lily cry, muffling the sound with a spell so that Darian wouldn't realise what was going on. Luckily the boy was preoccupied with the book.

Once Lily had calmed down a little, Minerva promised to help Severus with his lessons. Lily asked her word to not reveal to anybody but Albus what she had learned about Darian.

-x-

Minerva was fast to act. She sat Severus down that very evening and the young wizard came back to their quarters with a bunch of ideas how to make his lessons better and more efficient. It was, of course, not done with one evening but things improved steadily and after some more rounds of advice, Severus reached a state of things in his classrooms where he was confident that things would work out well enough that he was able to stay at his assigned post.

-x-

Albus was not so fast. It took him over a month to arrange a meeting with Lily under the pretence of offering her a position as an assistant to Pomona Sprout.

"What do you think?" Lily asked Severus after he had read note Dumbledore had handed her at breakfast.

"I think it's a chance. The more contacts we have within the staff, the better the chance we get information our Lord seeks," Severus handed the note back. "You should take the position."

"It would be nice to have something to do," Lily admitted. "You'd have to watch Darian while I work though. I can't take him to the greenhouses."

"No problem," Severus shrugged. "He can play at my office while I grade. Or he can help me brew."

"I may brew?" Darian squealed. "I'd love to brew, Daddy!"

Lily laughed. "Then it's settled. I tell Dumbledore yes and you can start your father and son brewing while I do." She could hardly wait to meet the old wizard in the afternoon.

-x-


	21. Chapter 21

Lily watched Albus out of the corner of her eye at lunch. Why didn't the man eat faster! She could hardly wait to finally meet him and be able to speak to him in private and there he sat, eating his third portion of pudding! It was outrageous.

When the old wizard finally left the Head Table, Lily followed immediately, having barely touched her own meal. Severus smirked at her and she smiled back shyly.

The headmaster led the way up to his office and only waited for Lily to catch up in front of the gargoyle guarding the stairs to his realm.

"Treacle tart," he gave the password when Lily stood beside him.

The gargoyle sprang to life and they rode up the spiralling staircase in silence. Only when the door had closed behind them with a snap, Lily threw herself on her old friend's neck.

"Oh Albus!" she cried.

The wizard embraced her in a tight hug and gave the woman a few minutes to calm down before he led her to the fireplace and handed her a cup of tea.

"Tell me what happened, child," he said softly and Lily did.

She told Albus everything. How the Dark Lord had spared her as a reward for Severus, how she had found out about Darian, and what she had done in order to protect her second son.

"I'd have died for Harry," she concluded her story. "And gladly, had it only saved his life. Is it wrong what I did to save Darian?"

Albus patted her hand. "Of course not, dear child. The sacrifice you made on Darian's behalf is even greater than the one you were ready to make for Harry. I can barely start to imagine what it must have been like to live among them, day for day, fearing for your boy's life. Don't make a mistake though. There will be people, and I'm afraid many, who would have worshiped you for the one sacrifice and will condemn you for the other."

Lily nodded. "Especially when they cannot know the truth about Darian."

Albus agreed. "The truth must be protected or all you did will have been in vain."

"What will happen now?" Lily asked. "Can you protect Darian? Can I finally escape?"

The old wizard stared into the flames for a long while. Lily drank her tea and didn't disturb him. She knew Albus and had often watched him think and scheme.

"I think," the man finally broke the silence, "that you created the safest environment possible for your son. You should stay where you are, Lily. We can finally have a reliable spy among his followers and your position is ideal. As Severus' wife you can find out a lot that is going on in his circles, and as you live here at Hogwarts it will be easy to pass on your findings to me."

Lily gasped. Never had she expected Albus to ask her to continue this life! Of course she could easily see Albus' reasoning. He did have a point. She was in every spy's dream position but she had hoped with all her heart that her unwanted marriage to Severus was only temporary. To keep it up when she could escape was just … disgusting.

"The question is," Albus continued, "can you stand it? Can you remain with Severus? I have no doubt what is required of you and how you feel about it. Can you do it any longer?"

Lily sighed. "I'm used to it by now and I will do anything to protect Darian."

"Don't make your decision too quickly," Albus advised. "I will not deny that I hope you will agree to spy for the order but I don't want to ruin you either. I will not ask you to do more than you can. I'm not asking for a martyr. If you think you can't do it, I will help you leave the country with Darian. We won't make the mistake to try and hide you a second time. Take your time, child. Think it over."

Lily returned to the office a week later – Severus thought she left for the greenhouses – to give Albus her final answer.

"I must do it," she said, "for James. If I run now, he died in vain. James insisted to stay in Britain because he wanted to help bring Voldemort down, to give Harry and all other children we might have a safer and brighter future. I must follow the path he chose for us or I'll truly betray him."

"I'm glad you agree. The order needs you. Voldemort has two spies we know of. We could do with one of our own."

"You have it," Lily promised. "I only ask two things of you in return." Albus looked at Lily expectantly and she elaborated. "Firstly, I want your word that you will protect Darian if he needs it."

"You have it, dear child," Albus hurried to say. "That goes without saying!"

"And secondly, I need you to brew a potion for me."

"A potion?" Albus asked. "Your husband is a potions master, and you are an excellent brewer yourself. What kind of potion do you need me to make for you?"

Lily sighed. "I managed to convince Severus that a second child too soon was bad idea. But recently, he has started to hint that he wants another. I need a potion to prevent that from happening. Albus, I can't have children on different sides of this war! I cannot choose between my sons!"

Albus nodded in understanding. "I see and will do what you ask of me. Is there a certain brew you want?"

Lily shook her head. "I cannot risk looking it up. If Severus gets suspicious of what I'm doing… He cannot know! I need something that I have to take only once or in long intervals. It can't have any side effects he will notice. I was hoping that you'd know what to make."

Albus promised to look into it.

-x-


	22. Chapter 22

Now that Lily had come to an understanding with Albus and Minerva, her life at Hogwarts became more comfortable. True, her old friends remained distant during meals in the Great Hall but they had amiable chats on a regular basis when Lily was supposed to do her job as herbology assistant.

Of course the witch went to the greenhouses every weekend, and soon a new friendship between her and Pomona Sprout – who had never been involved in any order business – developed but she never stayed as long as she led Severus to think she did. She always returned to the castle early and met with Minerva and the headmaster. Sometimes she went up to Albus' office, sometimes to the transfiguration department or the library or even an unused classroom.

Shortly after Christmas, Albus gave Lily a small vial during such a meeting.

"Is it what I think it is?" Lily asked hopefully.

Albus nodded. "Are you sure you want to take this? It will prevent you from having children for the next ten years. There is no antidote."

"Are there any side effects?" Lily asked.

"I didn't find any, and I was thorough in my research," Albus said soothingly. "I am, though, worried about the length of time of efficiency. Ten years, child! That's a long time. A lot may change in ten years! What if we defeat him next year and another child would no longer cause you a conflict?"

Lily hung her head. Should she tell her old friend? "I don't think we'll defeat him next year," she said. Albus had to know. "Darian is too small."

"Darian?" Albus asked. "What does Darian have to do with it?"

"He's the child of the prophecy, Albus. He bears the Dark Lord's mark. Voldemort marked him when he was a baby, in order to let his death eaters know that he approved of Severus having a child with a … mudblood."

"Why didn't you tell me at once?" Albus cried.

Lily snorted. "What would you have done differently had you known, Albus? What did you expect me to do? Do you have any idea how careful I had to be? Ever since I woke up at Malfoy Manor, I have to watch my every step, my every word! I cannot even trust my husband whom I married only because I had to in order to stay alive for my child to be born!"

The old wizard laid a soothing hand on the witch's shoulder. "I'm sorry, my girl. You're playing your part so well; it's easy to forget how difficult your situation is." He handed Lily the vial when she reached for it.

"Do I take it with a meal or just drink it?"

"Just drink it."

The potion tasted sweetish, not bad at all, and once she had drunk it, Lily felt relief wash over her. At least one burden had been taken from her shoulders.

"If Darian is the child of the prophecy," Albus continued as he put the now empty vial back into his pocket, "we have to make sure he's prepared. Have you started teaching him?"

Lily looked at the old man in disbelief. "He hasn't even shown first signs of magic yet! You can't be thinking of training a pre-schooler to fight!"

"I'm talking about teaching him control of his magic," Albus corrected her. "Tell me when his magic shows and I'll help you devise lessons for him."

Lily thanked the old wizard and then returned to the dungeons where Darian was helping Severus brew pepper-up potion.

-x-

The first real opportunity to be of use to the order came the very next day.

"Lucius owled," Severus informed Lily after breakfast. "He invited us to the New Year's party at the manor."

"How nice of him," Lily lied.

Severus agreed with a nod. "It would be convenient if we could leave Darian here," he said, "the party starts at dinner, too late for him to play with Draco anyway."

"That's a pity. I'm sure he'd have loved to see his friend again," Lily smiled weakly. Truth to be told, she was glad if she could leave the boy in the safety of Hogwarts castle. "I'll ask Pomona whether she's willing to watch him for the evening."

"We can ask Dumbledore for a house elf if she refuses."

Lily wore green dress robes for the party; Severus donned his best black robes. The guest of honour was, of course, the Dark Lord.

The dark wizard sat in the seat at the front of the long dinner table at the manor's largest dining room. Lucius sat at his right side, looking not very happy to have had to give up the seat that was the place of the master of the house, with Narcissa beside him. To Voldemort's left sat Bellatrix who had gained influence with the Dark Lord since she had captured two aurors single-handedly.

Lily didn't know the Longbottoms personally but she had heard of them because their boy had been born one day before Harry and for a couple of days she had hoped that said boy was the child of the prophecy and not Harry. She was glad the aurors had escaped and Peter had been severely punished for not preventing it.

The meal was delicious like always at the manor. Lily enjoyed the food and pricked up her ears, hoping to catch a piece of information that might be useful for the order.

Bellatrix still boasted about the capture of the aurors but the others had heard the story more than once and nobody really wanted to hear it any more.

Travers was trying to recruit people to go after the Prewitt's little sister. "I swear, I know where her house is!" he tried to persuade Karkaroff.

"What do you want with her?" Karkaroff was not interested. "Nobody has ever seen her fight. As far as we know she's only a school girl."

"I saw her with three children," Travers pointed out. "She's hardly a school girl. Her husband works at the ministry. Weasley, Albert I think."

"Arthur," Lucius corrected him between bites of roast. "A distant cousin and a bad blood traitor; he's known to associate with all kinds of riff-raff."

"There," Travers cried. "A blood traitor. We should go after them and give the children to proper families to raise. They are pure blood, aren't they?" he looked at Lucius questioningly and the blond wizard nodded.

Lily listened closely. She had met Molly Weasley, nee Prewitt, a couple of times. Molly had not three but seven children as far as she knew. One of her boys had been Harry's age and they had met at St Mungo's once when the boys were sick and then for play dates; their meetings had come to an abrupt end when the Potters had to go into hiding. Lily had to warn Albus about Travers plans and the more she knew the better.

After dinner, the Dark Lord took the assembled witches and wizards to the ball room where they stood in their usual circle obediently.

"New Year's Eve is a time to celebrate," the man smiled. "The past year was successful and we have reason to hope that the next will be equally good. Therefore, let us celebrate!" He waved his wand and a concealment spell was lifted at the far end of the room. A group of people, men and women, were huddled together fearfully. Muggles, Lily realised.

She felt sick. She had heard the screams from her room on the upper floor of the manor, and she had smelled the blood on Severus when he came to her from such meetings; but never before had she attended one. She knew, though, what was to come.

-x-


	23. Chapter 23

Albus' face was incredibly sad when he withdrew from Lily's mind.

"My poor child," he croaked, "I can't begin to tell you how dearly I wish you wouldn't have to witness such things. Thank you for agreeing to share the memory. I can tell how difficult it was for you to relive those hours. Know that by doing so you give those hapless muggles' families certainty what happened to their loved ones."

Lily nodded, tears streaming down her face. "It was horrible," she sobbed. "And all the while I feared he was going to ask me to participate! I was so scared, Albus! And Severus! Oh, Albus! Severus!"

The old man pulled Lily into a hug and she sobbed her despair into his purple clad shoulder. Had she ever believed that the man she had married was an unwilling participant in what went on at the meetings at Malfoy Manor, she now knew better and she was scared beyond belief.

She needed to be even more careful. Severus had been vicious in his torture of those muggles, always in the midst of things, sometimes competing with his fellow death eaters who could elicit more horrible screams from their victims. Especially when he was working with Lucius, he was terrible! Lily was disgusted and scared. If Severus ever found out that she was using him, if he ever suspected Darian's true parentage! If he ever caught her spying for Albus!

"It's over now, child," Albus whispered soothingly, "and you found out important things. In enduring that meeting, you were able to bring back information that will save a family of nine."

Lily gasped. "Nine? Molly had seven children already?"

Albus smiled. "Indeed. They wanted a girl and they only got one at their sixth try." His eyes twinkled merrily as he thought of the Weasley children. "They were blessed with twin boys a couple of years ago. I've been told little Ginevra is a darling."

"You will save them, won't you?"

"I will give them means to protect themselves," Albus promised. "We have to be careful no to give away the fact that we have our own spy now."

"It would put Darian in danger," Lily agreed. "And now that I've seen what Severus is capable of… oh my God, Albus! We're weaving a dangerous net. I don't mind putting myself in danger, but my son… Albus, I can't lose another child! I wouldn't survive it."

"You won't," the old wizard said with certainty. "This child has something the other had not." He paused. "Darian has somebody on the other side who loves him. Severus does love him, doesn't he?"

"Of course he loves his son," Lily snorted. "But Merlin help me and the boy if he ever learns the truth. There won't be enough left of us for a proper funeral. Have you seen what he did to that girl? Oh God, oh God!"

Lily was beside herself and Albus had to dose her with calming draught before she could return to the dungeons where her husband was teaching Darian how to dice daisy roots.

-x-

"You are different," Severus remarked when they lay in bed later that evening. "You seem distant."

Lily sighed and snuggled closer to the wizard. She could hardly tell the man that she could barely stand his presence in the same room let alone in the same bed. "I…" She hesitated. This was dangerous. If she said the wrong thing…

"I'm still shocked," she said carefully, observing the man beside her for signs of displeasure. "For the first time I saw what you have to do in order to promote the cause. Smelling the blood is one thing, seeing you draw it," she paused again. "I never saw you like that, Severus. It's amazing how you can be so gentle with your family when you… Forgive me. You don't deserve my distance."

The wizard turned a little to see her better and pressed a kiss to Lily's hair. "I understand," he whispered. "I'd have preferred you not to see that but it couldn't be helped. You were amazing."

"I didn't do anything," Lily was puzzled.

Severus smiled. "Exactly. You don't want to know what happened to Oldborough's wife when she vomited at her party."

"Her party?" Lily asked.

"He knows that most women are more delicate than men. He doesn't make them attend more than once unless they choose so."

"Narcissa chose to be there?" Lily couldn't believe it. Gentle, loving Narcissa? Never!

Severus shrugged. "If she was forced, then by her husband rather than the Dark Lord; I'd not put it past Lucius to try and gain influence through his wife."

Lily sat up and turned to the man beside her. "You don't expect me to attend again, do you? It was disturbing."

"No," Severus promised. "I don't. In this family, the husband does the work and the wife takes care of the home and the family."

Lily smiled and laid back down. "I'm glad we handle it like that. There are things I don't need to see."

-x-

Lily tried hard not to give away how nervous she was around Severus but the only place she was really relaxed was at the greenhouses when she was assisting Pomona. The friendly Hufflepuff had never been one of Lily's favourite teachers when she was a student (that title firmly claimed by professors Flitwick and Slughorn). Now the two women developed a close friendship.

Pomona didn't know why her young assistant was so jumpy but she was welcoming and friendly and her presence alone calmed Lily down. She came up with tasks they could work on in silence amiably for a while when the red haired witch was particularly nervous and later would start a friendly chat which distracted her assistant from whatever sorrow had her so disquieted.

Pomona had become the Head of Hufflepuff only at the beginning of the school year after the old Arithmancy teacher, Professor Euler, had retired. She often told Lily about what was going on in Hufflepuff house – without mentioning names if there were problems that better remained private – and how she was trying to deal with her new position.

"Charity is very unhappy with the position of Head of Slytherin," she sighed one afternoon in late January. They had worked on repotting Albic thistles for over an hour. "You may soon have another Head of House telling you their challenges. Albus is seriously considering giving the position to Severus."

"Severus as Head of Slytherin? I'm not sure he'd be too thrilled." But then he would, wouldn't he? Being the Head of Slytherin would give him a position of power over his students, a reason to contact them during their free time, a reason to enter their common room. A cover for recruiting.

Lily addressed the topic with Albus that very afternoon when she went to his office to inform him that she hadn't found out anything during the week due to the lack of meetings.

"Do you really want a death eater as head of house?" she asked the old wizard. "You must be aware that he'll try and recruit your students!"

Albus shrugged. "Most of the Slytherins have their paths of becoming death eaters laid out before they touch Hogwarts soil. Making him head of house would give me an excuse to keep him from meetings if I want to."

"Why would you do that?" Lily cried. "You know that I don't expect to be called again anytime soon. Severus is my only means of getting information. What good am I as a spy if you dry out my well of information?"

"I said IF, my girl, not WHEN. I don't plan on not letting him attend; I just said it was convenient to have a plan." The old man handed Lily a cup of tea. "You mustn't work yourself up over nothing, Lily. It doesn't do you good." There was a pause. "Arthur told me to thank you."

"Are they safe?" Lily asked, concerned for the family.

"They have emergency portkeys and Arthur made sure to mention how Molly thought she was watched within the hearing range of people we know work for Voldemort. That way he will not suspect there being a spy in his group."

Lily nodded. "I was scared that he might suspect something if they couldn't get Arthur and his family."

Albus smiled kindly and added another spoonful of sugar to his tea. "I take care of my spies, my girl. I know how dangerous it is to do what you do. I appreciate it greatly and I will do anything in my power to minimize the risk for you. Now, how are things with Severus going?"

-x-


	24. Chapter 24

Author's note: _I'm sorry it took me so long to update. The reasons for the delay are complicated and involve a dead car (but luckily no hurt people). _

_Thank you for your patience!_

_Now on with the story! Read and review!_

Later that month, Darian showed his first bit of magic. Lily was not too surprised because Harry had started to show signs of magic before his fourth birthday, too.

Darian stopped a potions vial's fall which he had knocked from the work table when he helped Severus in his lab.

Severus was beside himself. "He's only three and a half years old! That's early, isn't it?" he hugged Lily. "Oh, we have a powerful little boy!"

"Anything between three and a half and eight is considered normal," Lily informed her excited husband. "But you are right, he's on the early side. Harry was, too."

Severus scowled at the mention of Lily's first son. He didn't like her to talk about Harry, or – Merlin forbid – James.

Lily ignored him. "Just don't be disappointed when he doesn't do magic every day. What I was meaning to point out is that Harry was early with his first act of magic but then he didn't show any for more than three months. I read that it's normal for early starters, to show their magic on only few occasions during those first few months after their first act."

Severus nodded in understanding. "Nevertheless," he declared, "I am proud of our boy! This calls for a celebration!"

That evening, Darian was allowed to wear a colourful wizard's hat for dinner. Many of the students knew what that meant and came to offer their congratulations. Severus, Lily realised, was very observant of who came and who did not.

"This wasn't about personal pride," Albus informed her when she pointed it out to him the next time she was at his office. "Letting the boy wear a wizard's hat to dinner was how old pureblood families announce that a child has shown magic. The hat is only worn for one day. It's considered an honour to meet a young witch or wizard on that special day. In following that tradition, Severus found out on one evening which families teach their children the old ways, and which don't. I'm sure he'll pass the information on to his lord as soon as possible."

Lily was disgusted that her husband had used her son to determine who was following pureblood tradition.

-x-

Severus was called to a meeting in early February. When he returned, he reeked of blood although he had cleaned his outer robes with a spell.

"Anything special about the meeting?" Lily asked, hoping to learn some useful titbits of information.

"Not really. He was pleased that Darian showed magic so early. Oh," Severus added as an afterthought, "and Wormtail was punished."

"What did he do?" Peter being cursed sounded good to Lily. That slimy little traitor had killed James and Harry!

Severus laughed. "Arthur Weasley was heard saying that his wife thought a suspicious person was following her. The description he gave sounded very much like Wormtail and that rat has been known to be a little over-eager to prove himself. Now that Weasley is warned, it will be hard to get him and his bunch of blood traitors. They may not follow the old ways but an old family like the Weasleys certainly have the magical means to escape an attack. The Dark Lord was furious. For a while we thought he was going to kill Wormtail but then he stopped and ordered Lucius to take Wormtail in until he had recovered."

"Narcissa won't be thrilled," Lily pointed out.

The wizard laughed. "Certainly not; she doesn't like Wormtail." Lily thought that was an understatement. She didn't know why but Narcissa hated the small man as much as Lily did.

"Speaking of Narcissa," Severus continued, "she asked me to pass on an invitation for a play date. Draco misses Darian."

"I'll owl her in the morning," Lily smiled. "Darian misses Draco, too. And I miss a chat with a proper pureblood witch."

Severus nodded approvingly and disappeared to the bathroom.

-x-

"You must be so proud!"

Narcissa held out a small plate of biscuits to Lily. The witches were sitting on a chequered blanket by a huge oak tree safely enshrouded in a warming charm, watching their boys race after a toy snitch on their broomsticks. Dobby was standing nearby, making sure that no accidents occurred.

"Of course," Narcissa continued while she prepared a cup of tea to her liking, "Draco hasn't shown any signs of magic yet. It's rather common among the wealthier families. The boy doesn't want for anything. Why would he need magic?" She looked over at the blond boy lovingly. Draco squealed when Darian overtook him on his little broom and ducked lower on his own broomstick to gain more speed. The older boy was more practiced at flying but Darian was lighter by far and that was definitely an advantage when it came to chasing a snitch.

"We are glad Darian showed magic," Lily agreed. "He's growing up at a school full of children who have magic but little control over it. It's good to know that Darian has some magic at his disposal himself."

"I see how that's desirable," Narcissa admitted. "The boy needs to learn some independence. You can't be by his side every minute of the day."

The witches discussed their children, the latest fashion trends, and gossip about other families associated with the Dark Lord. Narcissa had met Marjorie Goyle only a week prior to the meeting with Lily.

"She's so happy with her little girl!" Narcissa didn't even attempt to hide her jealousy. "And she says her husband adores little Veronica. Oh, if only Lucius wasn't so stubborn!"

Lily laughed. "I can imagine him doting on a little blonde princess who has him wrapped around her finger."

"See! Everybody can see it but Lucius! Oh," she continued a little more serious, "did I tell you? Bella and her husband are trying for a baby. Rodolphus is beside himself. He has wanted an heir for so long but Bella only agreed after the Dark Lord remarked that continuing the blood line is a witch's most noble duty."

"It's difficult to picture your sister as a loving mother," Lily admitted.

Narcissa agreed. "It's hard to imagine, isn't it, but I'm sure she'll do well once she has a baby. Her love for her family is as fierce as her devotion to her lord. Bella has never been one to give less than 100 percent."

"True, she's very passionate about everything."

-x-

The next bout of accidental magic from Darian happened in the Great Hall for everybody to see. The students were having cake and pudding for dessert as a treat before going home for the Easter holidays. At the head table, the dessert on offer was fresh fruit, as most teachers preferred it anyway and Lily had had a talk with the Hogwarts house elves about healthy food. Cake was to be served once a week if at all.

Darian was whining at his parents that he wanted a slice of chocolate cake since that was his favourite. Lily told him no, he couldn't have any today, and Severus was growing irritated and finally barked at the boy to obey his mother and stop the undignified behaviour that very instant.

The next thing that happened was a whole cake swooshing up in the air at the Hufflepuff table, hovering over to where Darian sat and landing in front of the boy.

Severus was, of course, thrilled that his boy had shown magic again. Lily tried to take the cake away but was repelled by a magical shield which only dissolved after Darian had stuffed himself with chocolate cake to his little heart's content.

The students were unsure how to react. The shield was an uncommonly strong act of magic for a child so small. Their potions master was obviously beside himself with pride and said potions master's wife was equally obviously furious.

As soon as the shield had fallen she grabbed the small boy's hand and pulled him towards the door.

"How dare you use magic against me!" she raged at the child. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that can be? You, mister, are grounded to your room where you will think about what you have done!"

The boy managed to look a mixture of miserable and gleeful.

The potions professor followed his furious wife at a safe distance, grinning like a lunatic.

All in all, the scene was scary.

-x-


	25. Chapter 25

"The headmaster wants to see us," Severus put down the note the old wizard's pet phoenix had dropped onto their coffee table some moments ago. "He wants us to come when Darian is asleep. He assigned us a house elf to baby sit the boy."

Lily nodded but said nothing. Instead, she glared at the bathroom door where said boy was supposed to brush his teeth before bed.

"I'm very disappointed," she nagged at the child when he came out. "You know very well why you are forbidden to eat sweets every day. I explained it to you and nevertheless you disobeyed! And you used a shield against me! What if you had choked and I couldn't come and help you?"

"The shield would have collapsed when he lost consciousness," Severus made the mistake to point out.

"Don't you dare side with him in this matter!" Lily raged at her husband.

"But I don't! Darian, you cannot use a shield against your mother!"

"Oh, and he's going to take you serious when you grin like that while you admonish him! What kind of father are you? Do you really want your son to endanger his life for chocolate cake?" Lily turned back to Darian. "Well, I hope you enjoyed that cake because it will be the last you had for a long time. No dessert for a whole month. And next time you try to block me out with magic, I swear I will use my wand."

"Yes, Mum," Darian hung his head and glanced at Severus from under his lashes.

"Your father will not help you in this matter," Lily hissed. "Not if he wants dessert himself."

Darian nodded, defeated, and slouched to his room. Lily let him steam for a little while before she followed him and sat at his bedside, like every evening.

"You cannot endanger your life for sweets, darling," she said softly. "You scared me. When you are older, you will learn that there are things which are worth putting your life on the line. Chocolate cake is not among them." She ruffled her son's unruly hair.

"I'm sorry, Mum," Darian muttered. "I won't do it again."

"You are forgiven," Lily pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead.

"Does that mean I can have cake?" the child asked hopefully.

Lily laughed. "Of course you can have cake!" She paused. "When the month is over; now, sleep well!"

Darian pouted but there was no real defiance in the gesture. Lily chuckled and returned to the living room.

A little later, a small house elf turned up and Lily and Severus went to the headmaster's office.

-x-

"Darian showed extremely powerful magic for a child his age," Albus said without preamble. "I think we'd all be safer if he learned to control it to a certain extent. I asked you here to suggest to you that you get him a wand."

"A wand at the age of three?" Severus asked doubtfully. "Are you sure this is a good idea? He still needs help with the pronunciation of every day words, and you expect us to teach him spells?"

"Just a few simple ones," Albus smiled benignly. "He needs to get acquainted with his magic or it will overwhelm him at some point. I took the liberty of bringing a book from the library up here. Read chapter two, please."

Lily and Severus sat on Albus' sofa and bent over the book. Severus turned the pages after looking at his wife for a sign of consent.

"It seems you are right, headmaster," Severus said when they had reached the end of the chapter in question. "It seems reasonable to buy him a wand and teach him a couple of spells."

"I can help Lily take care of it," the headmaster offered. "The end of the school year is drawing closer and you must be very busy preparing your students for the exams."

Severus nodded. "It would be very helpful if you took care of the issue for me."

-x-

It was done the very next day. Albus owled Olivander who agreed readily to see Darian during the holidays. A three year old needing a wand wasn't something the wandmaker got to see every day and he was curious.

Darian clung to Lily's hand shyly when they flooed directly into the wandmaker's shop.

"So, this is the young man who needs a wand?" Mr Olivander stepped out from behind the counter of his shop. He looked at Darian curiously. "I haven't sold a wand to a child that young in more than 4 decades."

Lily smiled at the man. "Really? Who was it who got his wand back then?"

Olivander smiled secretively. "I'm not entitled to divulge a name. Know that the witch in question is a highly estimated member of the wizarding community. A very nice lady; she doesn't boast about her power but – oh! – she is powerful!"

Albus nodded in confirmation. "Indeed," he smiled. The two men exchanged an amused glance.

Lily took it as a sign that they were not going to tell who the other child had been. "Well," she said, "then let's get started."

Mr Olivander waved his wand at a measuring tape and the tape lifted into the air and started to measure Darian's arms, head and neck. The wandmaker noted down numbers on in a small red book.

"That will do," he stopped the tape after a little while.

Darian looked relieved. Lily smiled at him fondly when she remembered how unnerving she had found the tape when she had bought her wand.

The wandmaker looked at the data he had gathered. He did some arithmantic calculations on a separate roll of parchment before he turned to the shelves behind him and got a couple of wand boxes.

"Let's start with these," he smiled at Darian.

Darian proved quickly that he, indeed, had a lot of magical power. Unfortunately, the proof was given by spectacular explosions when he tried out wands. More than once, Albus had to help the wandmaker putting his shop back to right.

There were explosions, a flood, a jet of fire – it was lucky that Albus had his wand at the ready by then or Olivander would have lost dozens of wands – and a whirlwind which had the three adults sorting wands back into their boxes for full ten minutes.

"I don't think you have a wand for me," Darian said in a small voice after a particularly vicious explosion.

"Nonsense," growled the wandmaker. "I have a wand for each and every young wizard out there. It's just a question of finding it! I'll check the storeroom."

"Maybe my wand hasn't been made yet," Darian pointed out to his mother.

"A little bit of trust, young Mr Snape," Olivander had returned with another armful of wands. He signalled Albus with a small nod to have his wand out before he gave Darian the next wand to try.

-x-


	26. Chapter 26

"It was unbelievable," Lily told Severus later that evening. "I think Darian had to try out every single wand in that shop. First, Dumbledore helped Olivander repair the damage but then he cast shield charms and more than once Darian's magic broke them when it protested against a wand."

"But you did find a wand," Severus was clearly worried by Lily's account of what had happened.

"Of course, silly," Lily laughed. "When has Olivander ever failed to provide a witch or wizard with a suiting wand?" She showed the wand she had purchased for twelve galleons earlier. "Here, holly and phoenix feather; nice and springy." She waved the wand in front of Severus for him to see. The wand emitted a couple of golden sparks.

"It's not very impressive," Severus said doubtfully.

Lily snorted. "That's because it isn't mine. Come here, Darian. Hold the wand for your father to see."

Darian obeyed and a rain of golden sparks filled their quarters with a warm light. A joyous sound like phoenix song waved through the rooms and the boy's face lit up beatifically.

"I love this wand," Darian sighed. "When can I learn to use it?"

"Tomorrow," Lily promised. "The headmaster offered to teach you himself." She smiled at Severus. "That way he'll get a proper start and Albus will easily get away with teaching so young a child if the ministry gets wind of what is happening."

The potions master agreed. "We'd be in trouble if they realised what we're doing. Neither you nor I have enough influence to go unpunished for teaching a three year old wanded magic. I have to thank the headmaster when I next see him."

-x-

Severus was very excited about Darian's first lesson in magic. He grinned like a lunatic during breakfast which they took in their quarters for the special occasion.

"I wish I could come with you and watch," he told Darian for the umpteenth time while he buttered another slice of toast.

Darian returned the smile. "But your students need their potions lessons!" He reached for the boiled eggs and Lily had to help him because his arms were too short.

"Darian is right," she said. "You cannot miss your lessons. How would you feel if one of Darian's teachers neglected his education for personal reasons?"

"I wasn't suggesting I miss my lessons," Severus pouted. "I was just saying I wish I could come."

"We'll tell you everything we can," Lily promised.

-x-

They met the headmaster in an unused classroom on the third floor. There were statues, some of them badly damaged, on the sides of the hall-like room and the room could do with some cleaning.

"What kind of room is this?" asked Lily. "I don't remember seeing it before."

"That," Albus cleaned the room with a flourish of his wand, "was the Duelling classroom before the subject was dropped in the 1930s. There were too many injuries and the governors didn't deem it necessary any more for each and every witch or wizard to know about duelling. It had fallen out of fashion for resolving issues of personal offence anyway, and the population had dropped dramatically after the first wave of Grindelwald's attacks on the community. We couldn't afford to lose people in duels."

"But wouldn't it make sense to teach it now that Voldemort is attacking the community again?" Lily asked.

"Would you like to teach the enemy, too? If not, how would you determine which children are going to turn out light and which dark? No, my dear, it's better we wait until people have taken sides and then teach them."

Lily nodded. She remembered her and James' training with the headmaster and fellow order members after they had joined the Order of the Phoenix. Since they had been fully trained at that point, it hadn't taken them long to pick up the magic involved in fighting. "I see your point," she agreed. "It was difficult enough not to get hurt during training being a fully trained witch."

"Indeed," Albus smiled. "Now, Darian, let's get started. Did your mother explain to you how important it is that nobody knows about these lessons? Not even your best friend?"

Darian nodded solemnly. "I won't tell Draco or anybody else. And I won't tell Father how much I learn because if he knows he has to tell the evil man."

"Excellent," the old wizard smiled at the child. "Now, we need something easy to start with. I always found charms to be a good starting point." He conjured a colourful ball and pushed it away with his magic. "Today I want you to learn to direct the ball with your magic. The spell is _moveo_. The wand movement is simple. You move the tip of your wand as you would your finger to point the ball where it is supposed to go."

Albus demonstrated the spell again and at a sign from him, Lily ordered the ball which had by now reached the other end of the room back to them.

Darian pointed his wand at the ball and repeated the words and wand movement he had been taught. The ball shuddered but stayed put.

"This is more difficult than it looks," Darian admitted.

"I told you that you will need practice," Lily reminded the boy. "And because you are very young I expect you to need more than the students usually do."

Albus agreed. "Don't forget that you even having a wand is very special. You can't expect to succeed immediately."

Darian nodded and then started to practice.

Lily was amazed. She had expected Darian to get impatient when things didn't work after a few minutes but the boy pursued his task untiringly. Albus conjured a small table and chairs for himself and Lily, and a little later ordered tea from a small house elf and they had tea and chocolate biscuits while they watched Darian work.

Albus got up from time to time to give Darian further directions. The boy listened closely and then renewed his effort. After a little less than an hour he finally succeeded and the ball rolled to the end of the classroom.

"Look!" Darian cried in triumph. He squealed with delight.

Albus and Lily looked at each other. Neither had expected the boy to succeed in his first lesson. Albus was quicker to recover.

"Excellent!" The old wizard clapped his hands in applause. "I'm very proud of you! Can you now try and command the ball back to you?"

Surprisingly, Darian could. Once he had found his start, he could direct the ball through the room just like Albus or Lily. They played a little game, where they stood a couple of meters away from each other and had to direct the ball exactly in front of the next player.

Darian noticed during the game that he was the only one to speak the incantation and wanted to try the spell wordlessly, too, but gave up quickly when Albus explained that not saying the incantation was NEWT level magic and nobody expected him to even try it.

Lily could tell that her son would have loved to try and she realised that he was saying the spell softer and softer. She smiled at Albus and the old man winked at her, indicating that he had noticed it, too.

After the game Albus ordered hot chocolate for Darian and they had more tea and biscuits. During their little party, Albus explained to Darian the basics of the theory behind the spell he had learned and how they were going to proceed in his next lesson.

Lily told Darian how much to tell Severus – the ball had moved a little and they were confident that Darian would be able to actually direct it soon – and emphasized again how important it was that they stuck to the same story about the lesson.

-x-

Severus was summoned two days later and returned exceptionally late. Lily could tell by the smell and her husband's expression that there had been prisoners.

"He's thrilled," Severus said as he slid into bed and pulled Lily close. "He loves that Darian has a phoenix feather wand like he," the potions master continued as he slid his hands under Lily's night dress. Lily concentrated on what Severus was saying rather than what he was doing. "He thinks the similar wands mean that Darian will insist in his steps. Can you imagine it? Darian will become the leader of a new generation of witches and wizards who see the importance of tradition and purity of blood, and I, being his father, will stand by his right hand."

-x-


	27. Chapter 27

Lily dreaded the end of the school year. Hogwarts was her safe haven. With no students in residence, there was no need for Severus to stay at the castle. Where were they going to stay?

"Can we go on holiday? It's been years since I've been to the seaside!" The witch tried to convince her husband of going to one of the many seaside towns, far away from death eaters and dark lords, but it was in vain.

Severus took them back to his childhood home at Spinner's end the very day the term ended. Lily had barely unpacked their things when her husband called for her and Darian to come downstairs.

"Lucius is throwing an impromptu party, just some friends. He firecalled just a minute ago," Severus beamed.

Lily sighed. There was nothing she could do. "Just give me time to change into something a bit nicer," was all she could say.

Severus nodded approvingly when Lily came downstairs again, ten minutes later, wearing light summer robes. The potions master himself donned heavy black robes of the kind he usually wore at school.

Lucius informed them upon their arrival that the party was actually for Bellatrix who had just entered the last month of her pregnancy. "It's probably the last time she can meet up with all of us before she gives birth. Rodolphus is very protective of her. If he gets his way, she'll spend the next month locked up with a healer at their house."

Severus laughed. "I can see that but I can't see Bellatrix complying quietly."

"Rodolphus won't admit it but I think I saw some rather new curse marks on his wrists," laughed Lucius. "I'm really lucky I got the calmer sister. Narcissa was a very dignified mother to be. She'd never have cursed me."

"And if so," Lily chimed in, "you wouldn't have taken it quietly, would you? Speaking of Narcissa, where is she?"

"Upstairs with Bella," Lucius replied, "they are talking about birth, I think. Why don't you go and find them!"

Lily thanked their host for pointing her at Narcissa's whereabouts and took Darian upstairs. She wasn't very happy to meet Bella but since she had asked about Narcissa she couldn't very well not go; and Darian was eager to meet Draco.

The sisters were in Draco's room. The boy was collecting toys he wanted to take downstairs to play with when Darian arrived. Both children squealed when Lily knocked at the door frame to make their presence known.

"Lily!" Narcissa beamed. "We were just talking about you! I told Bella how quick birth was for you. She's a bit scared because I was in labour for more than a whole night with Draco."

"Don't be," Lily told the dark witch with a smile. "Birth is different for every woman but no matter how it goes you will be happy beyond belief when you finally hold your baby. All pain will be forgotten and only your new son or daughter will count."

"What did you do to make it quick?" Bellatrix asked eagerly, ignoring Lily's advice.

"Nothing," Lily sighed. "Don't forget that Darian was my second child. They say that the first child always takes longest and things weren't quick with Harry."

"Are you still mourning that boy?" Bellatrix asked coldly. "He was a threat to our Lord. You should be happy he's dead."

"He was my baby," Lily snapped. "How can I be happy he's dead? No matter what he was or did, he was my baby!"

"I'd love Draco no matter what he did," agreed Narcissa. "And so will you with your child, Bella. You'll love him even if he decided to marry a muggle."

"How dare you suggest that!" Bella cried at her sister. "I will not sit here and be offended!" She got up from her seat. "And I'm hungry."

Narcissa laughed. "Then let's see what food we have! Come, boys, let's go downstairs. Auntie Bella is hungry."

The boys preceded the women down the stairs, their arms laden with toys. Narcissa insisted Draco greet the guests before he went to the gardens with Darian.

Bella made a beeline for the buffet as soon as it was acceptable – Narcissa whispered to Lucius and the blond wizard declared the buffet open earlier than it was custom – with Rodolphus hovering beside her, ready to hold her plate if it got too heavy.

The Dark Lord didn't make an appearance that day and Lily was happy about it. There were no prisoners, no standing in a circle, no watching torture and death, just people enjoying food and a good chat.

Death eater business came up in the conversation a couple of times and Lily made mental notes to warn Albus that a couple of witches and wizards she knew where in danger and that Emmenrich Dole had been recruited by the Dark Lord and could no longer be trusted.

When people stopped returning to the long table on the side of the room to get more food – it was delicious like always at the Malfoys' – Lucius invited the party to move to the patio. Drinks were served and the men gathered at one end of the patio to smoke and chat. Lily had to go with the women grudgingly. Narcissa had comfortable garden chairs prepared – Bellatrix sank into one gratefully – and a table holding an assortment of biscuits.

Lily could see the children from her seat. Draco and Darian were, unsurprisingly, on their brooms and chasing each other. A couple of other boys were playing on the lawn. Lily recognised the Goyle boy, who was a spitting image of his mother. The only girl in the group must be Veronica, his little sister. The boy was very attentive towards the little girl.

"Soon your baby will play with them," Narcissa smiled at her sister and Bellatrix beamed back at her.

"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" asked Marjorie.

"A girl, of course!" Bellatrix informed her. "Look at all those young wizards! How can they bring forth the next generation of purebloods with no pureblood brides available? Little Veronica won't be enough."

"My house would be honoured to be connected to the Lestranges through marriage," Marjorie said graciously. Several other witches agreed that a daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange would make a splendid bride for one of their sons.

Bellatrix smiled, ignoring them all. "What do you say, Lily, a connection between the houses Lestrange and Snape would be very benefical."

"Darian is not a pureblood," Lily pointed out.

"I have learned my lesson," Bellatrix replied kindly though Lily didn't believe a word. "We need to accept halfbloods into our society if they are powerful enough. The Dark Lord says so himself! I will ask him to accept a promise on Darian's behalf from my daughter as soon as she's born."

"You sound very sure about your baby being a girl," said Gloria Rosier.

Bellatrix shrugged. "There are potions for that."

Lily could hardly suppress a shudder. A promise? She was not ready to have her son engaged before he even started school. She'd have to talk to Severus about it, and quickly.

-x-

Severus listened to Lily's worries when they returned home to Spinner's end and laughed. "That's something Bellatrix would do, try and secure the spot of power for her child early. Everybody knows that the Dark Lord considers our son the leader of the next generation of death eaters. She will not succeed."

Lily was glad she had her husband on her side in this. Under no circumstances was she ready to let her son be connected with a madwoman like Bellatrix Lestrange.

-x-


	28. Chapter 28

Severus spent a lot of time brewing potions for the Dark Lord that summer. Lily assisted him when he needed her and tutored Darian the rest of the time. The boy had made it clear that he thought that if he could learn magic, he could also learn how to read and write. So, reading and writing it was.

Darian had no trouble learning how to read. Within two weeks he was able to read out articles from the Daily Prophet to his parents. His reading was still slow and he had to go over a word several times now and then but all in all he did wonderful. Severus was very proud.

Writing was a different question. Taking a wit-sharpening potion didn't help with handling a quill. Darian had no trouble spelling the words he wanted to note down, mind you, but actually doing it… the boy was not used to having trouble learning something and the insight that he was going to need a lot of practice was a painful one.

Lily sat with him for at least a half hour every day and they practiced. First it was unnerving for both, mother and son but after a little less than a month things became a little easier and Darian had mastered a couple of letters. The success motivated the child and at least there were no longer fights whether it paid off to practice something which came so unexpected hard to him.

At the end of July, Bellatrix gave birth to a baby girl. There was a big party at Malfoy Manor three days later. Bellatrix presented her little daughter to the Dark Lord and asked the honour that he name her.

The Dark Lord was pleased and named the child Melpomene.

Bellatrix tried to get the man to accept a promise of marriage on Darian's behalf but Severus intervened and pleaded with the Dark Lord not to take any promise if the child could still be a squib.

Of course Bellatrix was furious. She even went as far as requesting a duel to restore her daughter's honour. Severus sneered at her and accepted. Rodophus would not let his wife duel so soon after she had given birth and took her spot. Severus wiped the floor with him – without hurting him too badly, the man was just filling in for his crazy wife after all – and no promise of marriage was made.

Narcissa tried to calm her sister by telling her that the Snape boy might be powerful but other death eater sons were powerful, too, without the stain of blood impurity. She succeeded to some extent, at least Bellatrix calmed down enough to enjoy the food on offer for the occasion.

It was at this party that Lily learned that the Grangers, a muggle family with a magical daughter, were targeted. The child, Crabbe told them, was showing early magic with an unusual amount of control.

The next day, Lily risked an owl to Albus to let him know. There was, of course, no answer from the old wizard. She'd have to wait until September to learn whether the information had reached him in time and whether he could save the family.

-x-

The Snapes returned to Hogwarts two weeks before the students were due to return. Severus prepared everything for the new school year and Lily took Darian to Albus for his next lessons of wanded magic.

The Grangers, she was informed, had been warned in time. Albus had put a dampening charm on their daughter's magic and they had moved to a different city. They had been, in fact, glad that they finally understood what was going on with their little girl.

"What do you think," Albus asked Lily as they watched Darian practice the aguamenti spell, "should we contact the parents of our muggle-borns earlier than we usually do?"

Lily didn't have to think for long. "Definitely, Albus! My family was so glad when they finally understood what was going on! By the time Minerva brought my letter and explained everything to us, I had been doing magic for nearly five years. My parents and sister would have gone crazy hadn't they had that little information about magic they got from Severus!"

"Then I'll suggest to the minister we change our policy," Albus mused. "Maybe we should send somebody to explain after a child has started to show magic on a regular basis."

The day before the students returned was very special for Lily. For the first time in years, she was able to attend an order meeting, if only a small one.

There were not many participants – Albus apologized but he was not ready to show Lily any members she didn't already know about – and the topic was not a grand one but it was a meeting and Lily was thrilled to be part of it.

Beside her and Albus, there were Remus and Sirius, Minerva and the Longbottoms.

Lily reported to the small group about Bellatrix's daughter and she warned them about an attack on a muggle school Severus had spoken about when he had returned from the meeting the previous evening. The Dark Lord had been furious when Crabbe had to report that the Grangers had disappeared and he could no longer locate them.

The Longbottoms informed Lily how they were working to protect the Weasley family and Sirius and Remus, it seemed, where just there to see their friend. They exchanged some small talk and promised to visit more often.

"Albus says he teaches Darian. I can come to those lessons or maybe take them over," Sirius offered. "Albus is busy enough."

"I wouldn't mind you taking over from time to time," Albus joined the conversation, "but I will not give up teaching the boy entirely. It's a joy for me to watch him learn."

-x-

Sirius kept his promise and came to Darian's next lesson of magic. Albus explained the spell in question to Darian – engorgio! – and showed him the wand movement. Lily and Sirius sat a little aside and watched.

"It breaks my heart," muttered Sirius after a little while, "to watch him learn and know this was taken from Harry. How can you stand it?"

"It's hard," admitted Lily. "First I thought it was hard to see him as a baby and think how much he is like Harry but seeing him do what Harry was never able to is even harder. But he's my son and there is no good in dwelling what should have been and was not. I have to be strong for this child. I cannot afford to break down over the memory of the other."

"I should have seen him grow up! I made a vow to watch over him as he did! I feel like something has been stolen from me," Sirius sighed heavily.

Lily nodded in understanding. "Why don't you watch over Darian for Harry's sake?" she asked. "I know it's not the same but it may help a little."

"Watch over Harry's little brother? It would be my honour!" Sirius beamed.

"We can't cast the godfather spell," Lily pointed out. "Severus would kill us both, but I'd be very grateful if you agreed to watch over Darian."

Sirius smiled. "I think I know how to trick Snivellus." He pointed the tip of his wand at his heart and reached for Lily's hand. "I promise to you, Lily," the wizard said solemnly, "to transfer the promise I made to your firstborn to your younger son and keep it for the rest of my life. This is my intent, this shall be." The tip of his wand glowed a soft orange for a few seconds.

Lily gasped. "You are transferring your godfather duties to Darian? Oh Sirius!" she cried when the light of the magic was gone. "That was a clever move!"

"I thought so," Sirius grumbled. "The spell didn't touch Darian, so Snivellus won't notice a thing."

Lily agreed. "The magic was between you and me and there's so much magic around me, he won't notice a thing."

"Are there any other godparents I should know of?"

"No. It seems death eaters don't do that."

"That can't be. Naming godparents is an old pureblood tradition. It connects families as does marriage. Every pureblood witch or wizard has godparents."

"Then maybe nobody wanted to be Darian's godparent because he's not a pureblood."

"You said the Dark Lord approved of him," Sirius made a dismissive gesture.

"I'll have to ask Severus," sighed Lily.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't. Do you really want him linked to a dark wizard through a godfather spell?"

Lily agreed. Any godfather Severus chose would be a dark wizard and she didn't want that for Darian.


	29. Chapter 29

In his second year of teaching, Severus seemed to find new joy in his profession. He gave the students more home work and started to dole out detentions on an almost daily basis. More often than not he returned to their quarters barely in time to say good night to Darian.

Lily didn't mind. True, the Gryffindor hour glass in the Great Hall looked sad with Severus taking so many points along with the detentions but things improved when Minerva caught on and returned what points she could.

Lily spent a lot of time in the greenhouses those days. Pomona had a lot to do in autumn. Many of the magical plants under her care were ready to be harvested and then needed to be prepared for the winter. Other plants didn't hibernate but needed to be repotted after a long summer of growth.

Whenever she could, Lily took Darian to the greenhouses but when they were planning to work on poisonous plants, that was not always possible. At those occasions, Albus or Sirius helped out. Both wizards made a habit of dedicating some time to practicing magic with the boy.

Lily was very proud of her son. Charms came easy to him and his two teachers were both curious to find out how far up the Hogwarts curriculum they could go before Darian had reached his limit. Of course, the boy didn't get the whole Charms course Filius Flitwick taught his students. Albus and Sirius just picked out a charm here and there which they thought would be interesting enough for Darian to put his mind to it. Also, they had to be careful not to teach him anything potentially dangerous. Therefore, Albus rather taught him the aguamenti spell than the fire charm Hogwarts students learned in their first year.

In late September, Lily caught Sirius teaching her son the tarantallegra jinx.

"What do you think you are doing?" she raged at the man. Tarantallegra had been one of James's favourite spells when it came to playing pranks on hapless Slytherins in general and Severus in particular when they were first years.

"Oh come on! He needs to know some fun spells! How can he become a proper prankster?" Sirius laughed.

"My son will not be a prankster!"

"He will!" Sirius giggled. "Don't forget it's in his blood!"

"Pranking is not in anybody's blood!" Lily glared at the wizard.

Sirius grasped his robes in front of his chest. "Now you're hurting me! Not in the blood? Not in the blood?"

Darian laughed at Sirius's behaviour.

Lily snorted. "As if pranking ran in the noble and ancient Black blood line!"

"It skips a generation sometimes," Sirius growled.

"Or fifty," Lily growled back.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It may not be in MY blood," he admitted. "But it's in Darian's."

-x-

As Severus was so busy with teaching and watching over his Slytherins – whom he favoured shamelessly in his class, Lily was told – and the Dark Lord considered his spying on the headmaster of Hogwarts an important task, the potions master and his wife were rarely summoned to meetings those days.

On the one hand Lily was glad. She never enjoyed those meetings, even if there were no prisoners. On the other hand, it meant she got next to no information on the Dark Lord's plans at all.

She didn't dare contact Narcissa and ask for play dates with Draco on Darian's behalf too often. She did once in October – she was able to warn Albus about in impending attack on a muggle train after that one; the attack could not be prevented but the order was ready to be prepared to help and many lives were saved – and another time just after Halloween.

Both times Bellatrix was present.

It seemed that being a mother was not what the dark witch had expected.

She was having trouble with little Melpomene. The little girl was often fussy and Bellatrix was not the most patient mother.

Narcissa had been asked by Rodolphus who adored his daughter just as he did his wife to spend time with Bellatrix and help her with the baby. "In fact," the blonde witch told Lily, "he said he feared Bella might kill Melpomene! I already asked Lucius to get them a house elf. Finding one who has experience with children is not easy and we don't want my only niece to be a training object for one of those dumb creatures, do we?"

The topic was changed immediately when Bellatrix returned from changing her baby's nappies. Both, mother and daughter, looked unhappy.

Bellatrix asked her sister a couple of questions about changing a baby. Did she hold the child correctly? Did she clean her as she was supposed to? If so, why was the child squirming all the time? Narcissa answered the questions to her best ability, which turned out to be not very much since Draco had been taken care of by the elf the Malfoys had had before Dobby.

Lily gave some advice but had to admit that girls were probably different than boys and she knew nothing about girls. Bellatrix still disliked her, Lily was aware. What surprised her was that the dislike was deep enough to prevent her from taking advice from a person who had actually taken care of two babies without the help of servants.

Well, Lily thought, if Bellatrix wanted to have help from a witch who had raised a daughter, she could always ask her second sister, who was mother to an adorable young witch who currently attended Hogwarts. Pomona had pointed the girl out to Lily.

Dora, as Pomona called her, was in Hufflepuff and her head of house was quite proud of her. "She would have made a good Gryffindor, too," the kind witch had told Lily. "But she's a bit clumsy and has to work hard to overcome it. I think that's why we got her. But believe me, she'd have fit in splendidly with those reckless Gryffindors."

Lily had laughed and pointed out that Gryffindors were not reckless but brave and Pomona had joined in the laughter.

Of course Lily knew better than to mention Dora to the Black sisters.

In November, dragon pox broke out at Hogwarts. Darian caught them and had to stay at the makeshift quarantine hospital wing on the third floor. Nearly seven dozens of students were ill, much more than was room for at the regular hospital wing.

Albus spelled an unused corridor wider and conjured beds for the sick children. Lily helped Madam Pomfrey carry the necessary supplies to her new room and volunteered to help the matron with her work. As Lily had had dragon box in her own student times – back then only five children had fallen ill before Horace Slughorn had whipped up a potion to prevent the rest from getting infected – her offer was gladly accepted.

For two weeks Lily saw Severus only from afar. He had not had the disease yet and they could not afford him to fall ill. A healer from St Mungo's came to assist Madam Pomfrey with the more severe cases while Lily took care of simple tasks like bringing the children tea or reminding them to take their potions.

It was a Herculean task for the three adults; they tried their best but after two nights with as good as no sleep at all it was clear that they needed more hands.

Albus got them help.

Sirius Black, Alan Smith, Gloria Umbridge and Susan Bones – all of them members of the Order of the Phoenix – joined them at the quarantine wing. Gloria was a cook and volunteered to be the link to the kitchens. Dragon pox was much more dangerous for house elves than humans, so it was better to not let any elves too close to the sick children.

Susan had finished her schooling at Hogwarts a couple of years after Lily. She was currently training as a healer. Alan had not gone through any medical training but he was a father of three children who had all suffered through dragon pox. He knew what the children needed and what to do as long as the cases were not too complicated.

Sirius was least qualified of the new helpers but he insisted to come and – as he put it – clean after the healers because that needed to be done, too.

"You can say a lot about Snivellus," Sirius said one morning as he and Lily were measuring small doses of potion into cups, "but he certainly is a good potions master. When I had dragon pox myself, my parents got the best potions available but what I got was not as pure as what old Snivelly produced." He held the vial he was holding up to point out how clearly the light shone through the liquid.

"He's always been good at potions," agreed Lily. "If only he had put his talent to a good use instead of joining … whom he joined." She stopped herself of saying something incriminating about Severus within students' earshot just in time. They were standing at the far end of the big room with a little distance between their work table and the first bed but you could never be sure what the children heard.

"I told you from the very start that he was an evil slimy git," Sirius growled.

Lily glared at him. "You were wrong back then. I knew him as a boy. He was okay."

"But he's evil now," Sirius pointed out.

Lily knew better than to call her husband evil in a room full of students even if she thought they could not hear her. Instead she just snorted and took a tray full of cups to the youngest students and her son.

When she returned for the cups containing a bigger dose of potion for the older students, Sirius didn't pick up the topic again and Lily was grateful for it.

-x-


	30. Chapter 30

Author's note: Life is busy. The new chapter is short, I will try to make the next longer.

Work at the impromptu hospital was exhausting. Sometimes Lily thought the only things holding her up were pepper-up potion and tea. Madame Pomfrey and her assistants – Lily, Sirius, Alan, Gloria and Susan – looked dreadful.

Dragon pox was an itchy affair. If they wanted to avoid scars, they had to keep the children from scratching their skin raw. If they failed to do that, they had to administer salves repeatedly.

The medication for the illness had to be taken every few hours, also by night.

Lily got very little sleep. Madame Pomfrey being the only trained healer among them worked hardest and more than once Lily slipped her a few drops of sleeping draught to make sure the other woman slept at all.

Just when Lily thought they would not be able to hold out for another day, it happened. Madame Pomfrey declared Andy Brown healed and the boy – a tiny first year – left the quarantine area.

The sight of the little boy walking through that door which connected their realm with the rest of the school lifted the group's spirit considerably. They started to heal! Soon the children were going to leave and be healthy and happy again. They had almost made it!

It took another week in which Lily measured out the potions which Severus provided, administered salves and ointments, and read out bedtime stories to children who had become homesick when they lay in bed sick.

Finally, after a total of 29 days, the last patient left. It was Dora Tonks. Being a metamorphmagus didn't help when it came to dragon pox, it had turned out. Her case had easily been the severest. When the fever had run high in her body, the girl had often transformed unaware of what she was doing before it was too late. Many of those transformations had overstretched pox-covered skin and broken it. More than once one of the women had to change the girl's bloodied sheets.

"Finally!" squealed Lily when the door had closed behind Dora. Only she and Sirius were left of the volunteers. The others had returned to their jobs a couple of days ago.

"Finally!" echoed Madame Pomfrey and sank down on one of the beds, closing her eyes tiredly.

"Finally!" echoed Sirius. He grabbed Lily around her middle and swung her around him in a display of youthful exuberance. Lily squealed again and held on for dear life. She laughed. Sirius laughed. When he set her down, Lily fell on Sirius's neck, relieved that they had made it.

Sirius wiggled a little to gain access.

Lily shifted a little.

Sirius kissed Lily.

Lily kissed Sirius.

It was the sweetest kiss Lily had had in years. Since that afternoon, when she and James had spent some quality couple time on the sofa while Harry had napped, Lily realised with a jolt. It was a happy kiss. One where she didn't need to think of was expected of her and whether it kept her partner happy enough to protect her from being killed.

Her partner! If Severus ever learned!

Lily pushed Sirius back. "We can't!" she whispered urgently. Nervous, she turned around to see Poppy's reaction. It was with relief that she realised the other woman had fallen asleep the second she was relieved of her duties. "We can't! I'm sorry!"

"Don't ever be sorry, sweet Lily!" Sirius whispered. He reached out slowly like one would to a shy animal. "And we can. We just have to be careful!"

"You don't understand! It's our lives that are at stake," Lily whispered back.

"Then we will be even more careful," Sirius kissed her again and Lily didn't find it in her to push him back again. The kiss was too good, the promise it held too tempting.

A couple of minutes later Lily called a house elf and asked the small creature to take care of the sleeping mediwitch. Sirius left with a huge grin on his face, and Lily returned to the dungeons.

Severus looked even worse than Madame Pomfrey, with dark rings under his eyes.

"Haven't you eaten?" Lily asked, shocked at how thin the usually slim potions master had become.

"There wasn't enough time some days. That potion needs to be stirred for seven hours without a break."

"Severus, certainly you didn't do that all by yourself! You could have got some seventh years to assist you with the stirring!"

"And get inferior results if they paused when they must not? Certainly not!"

Lily smiled. "Then let's at least eat now. You need your strength." She called a house elf and asked for some food.

After a quick meal, Severus went to bed and Lily joined him. They both needed to catch up on sleep, and desperately.

A week later, they had recovered. Normal lessons resumed after over a month of running a reduced schedule. Severus gave more homework than ever to ensure the students caught up on the work they had missed and thus more often than not had to grade essays until well after midnight.

Lily spent a lot of time in the greenhouses. Pomona had provided Severus with ingredients and many of her plants had given more than they were supposed to at a time. They needed extra care and the two women worked hard to repair the damage that had been inflicted.


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's note: **Sorry for the wait. Real life caught on with me and earning money does have priority.

Now on with the story:

Once things were back to normal at Hogwarts, Severus and Lily were called to Malfoy Manor. The meeting was small, only the Dark Lord, the Snapes and the Malfoys, and it was held very informally. In fact, Lily found herself sitting at the Malfoys' dinner table, eating Filet Wellington, and listening to her husband reporting to the Dark Lord about which students had fallen ill and which not and which families had been obviously uninformed about wizarding illnesses and their treatment.

The Dark Lord was in a good mood and only asked questions occasionally between bites. He even allowed idle chatter beside Severus' report and participated in it. He even went as far as pointing out to Lucius that it had been a brilliant idea to send Dobby to a cooking workshop near London for a day. So far, the Dark Lord had never even acknowledged that house elves existed as far as Lily remembered.

The next surprise was that the man left rather quickly after the meal. Lily was puzzled.

Lucius invited them to the library where coffee was served to the ladies and tumblers of fine firewhiskey to the men.

"I see you are as surprised as we were," the blond laughed when they were all settled with their drinks in front of the fireplace. He looked around conspiratorially before he whispered. "He has a girlfriend!"

"What?" asked Lily before she could stop herself. It was too unexpected! A girlfriend! The Dark Lord!

"I'd rather like to know who," Severus winked at Lily.

Lucius and Narcissa both took a sip of their drinks to draw out the suspense. "A young lady from nearby," Lucius finally said. "Adele Whitherspoon. Very old family, they claim they are descendant from Rowena Ravenclaw herself."

Severus snorted. "How can they be? Ravenclaw had a daughter who died childless."

"That's what the legend says but not what the Whitherspoons say," Luicus grinned. "According to them the daughter died in childbed after giving birth to a son. Anyway, it started about three weeks ago. Dorian Whitherspoon invited him to his home to look at some artefacts and there he saw Adele."

"I never pictured him with a girlfriend," Lily admitted.

"Nobody ever did," smiled Narcissa. "But he's sweet, actually; asked me for a bunch of roses only last week. I had Dobby plant some extra bushes in one of the greenhouses. It seems Adele's favourite colour is orange. We don't have very many orange roses so far but the bushes are developing nicely."

Albus was as surprised as Lily had been when he heard about the Dark Lord's new interest.

"I remember Adele," he said when Lily informed him. "A Slytherin girl, old money, old blood; very cunning and ambitious. And clever! And powerful, too. Her forte was transfiguration, but she wasn't bad at Potions either. Or was that her sister Amber?" The old wizard searched through one of the cabinets in his office. "Adele," he muttered when he had found what he was looking for. "Transfiguration, Arithmancy and Potions. The only branch of magic she was not good with was Runes. She failed the subject in her OWLs."

Lily laughed. "I don't care what she was good at at school as long as she keeps him occupied. He was almost in a hurry to get away from us yesterday. He even listened only half-heartedly!"

"It's unexpected but this might give us a much needed break," agreed Albus. "Our people have been under constant stress for years. A couple of weeks without attacks would be more than welcome!"

-x-

The days leading up to Christmas were quiet thanks to the Dark Lord's distraction. Lily even found time to read a book. There were no meetings and no attacks. Severus didn't have to brew for the deatheaters and used the free time to attend Darian's lessons.

The potions master was very proud when he watched his son perform spells on second year level. Darian, on the other hand, was peeved because Albus wouldn't let him practice any spells that gave away his true abilities. Lily was torn between rejoicing with her husband and calming her upset son.

Severus was a bit worried because there hadn't been an invitation to any Christmas party at Malfoy Manor, so Lily wrote to Narcissa asking for a play date for the boys because "Darian missed his best friend". The answer came promptly.

There was, Lily was informed, a New Year's party planned where all the children were invited, too. The Dark Lord, Narcissa told her, preferred the annual party not to be at Christmas because he had been invited to spend Christmas with his fiancée's family.

Lily ran up to Albus's office as fast as she could.

"What is it?" Albus sounded worried.

Lily waved Narcissa's letter and tried to catch her breath. "He's," she panted, "engaged!"

"What?"

"Narcissa speaks about his fiancée. She wouldn't use the word if she wasn't sure there has been an engagement!"

"Engaged?" Albus snatched the letter from Lily's hand and read it himself. "Engaged!" he confirmed. "It's unbelievable!"

-x-

Lily could hardly wait for the party, nor could Severus. The potions master was so excited; he bought Lily new robes for the occasion.

On New Year's Eve, the Snape family borrowed a coach from Albus to go to Malfoy Manor. It was pulled by one of Hagrid's newer pets, a thestral. The half giant had somehow managed to tame a herd of the gentle but scary creatures and was now training them to pull carriages.

They were the first guests to arrive.

"Narcissa insisted I give you an earlier time than the rest of the crowd," Lucius smiled. "It seems, Severus, she wants a chat with your wife before the house gets crowded."

"I won't have as much time as I'd like for Lily then," said Narcissa graciously. "I am the hostess after all!"

"And a great one, my beloved," Lucius lifted his wife's hand to his lips and placed a delicate peck on her fingers.

Narcissa giggled. "Come, Lily," she then invited the other witch, "I want to show you what I got for Christmas!"

The two witches followed Draco and Darian up the stairs. The children were supposed to play in Draco's rooms and only join the adults shortly before midnight to greet the New Year with them.

Lily was surprised when Narcissa followed the boys to Draco's wing rather than leading the way to her own suite. The blonde witch opened a door a little down the corridor from where Lily knew Draco resided.

Lily gasped.

"A nursery! Does that mean what I think it means?"

Narcissa beamed. "He said yes! His only stipulation is that it's a girl! I have to get my hands on that potion as soon as possible! Every morning I wake in fear that he will take his word back! He was against it for so long!"

"I'm sure Severus would be willing to help," Lily offered.

"Really? I was going to ask him!" Narcissa was so excited, Lily had never seen her like that.

The two witches spent nearly a half hour looking at the pink baby clothes and shoes Lucius had bought. Narcissa told Lily how it had taken her nearly ten minutes to catch on when she had unwrapped a tiny set of dress robes under the Christmas tree. She had, at first, thought that the robes were for her and that Lucius was going to unshrink them.

Dobby finally put an end to their chat when he popped into the room and informed his mistress that a carriage had passed the gates.

The witches hurried down the stairs, Narcissa to greet the new guests and Lily to join Severus at the ballroom.

The room was decorated in hues of pink – no doubt as a reminder of the soon to be new member of the Malfoy family – and orange.

Lily informed Severus about the potion Narcissa was going to ask him for while they waited. Severus smiled and informed her that he had no time to brew anything for Narcissa because Lucius had asked him for the exactly same potion just ten minutes ago and the brew was so complicated, there was no way he could handle two at the same time.

"So Lucius is serious?" Lily was glad for her friend. Narcissa wanted a little girl so badly!

"Of course," grinned Severus. "If our Lord settles down with a wife and sires a son, he will need a worthy bride for his heir. Lucius would be a fool to let pass the opportunity to link his house to our Lord's! Thinking of it, it wouldn't be a bad time for us either to have a daughter."

"What!" Lily piped. "Do you really think our daughter, with only one magical grandparent, could hold a candle to a daughter of the Malfoys in the eyes of our Lord?"

"Do not forget that he puts high hopes in our children when it comes to magical power. He even honoured Darian with his mark! Yes, the more I think of it the better I think the idea is. We should have a daughter. Young Miss Malfoy will need a playmate, won't she?" Severus grinned predatorily.

Lily suppressed a shudder. Only the thought of the potion Albus had provided for her let her keep calm or she would have panicked.

"Ah, the Snapes! Always early when there is free food!" Rodolphus Lestrange entered the room, grinning happily. He greeted Severus with a jovial slap on the shoulder.

"Rodolphus, I take it your family is well?" Severus grinned back.

"Melpie is teething but apart from that we're all well, thank you, Bella is putting her in bed upstairs. She'll join us shortly."

"Don't let her hear you call her daughter Melpie," laughed Lucius who had entered right behind his brother in law. "Melpomene is an old traditional name. It is barbaric to shorten it." He did a very accurate impression of an angry Bellatrix.

"Don't let her catch you mocking her," Rodolphus grinned back. "She won't hold back in her fury for you as she does for me."

The men laughed and Lily allowed herself a smile. She didn't like them to talk like that behind Bella's back even when the witch was far from her favourite person.

They didn't have to wait long for the next guests and soon the ballroom was crowded with happily chatting people. Everybody looked their best and there was an air of anticipation. Rumour had it that the Dark Lord was going to bring his bride to the party.

Even Lily felt a little excited.


	32. Chapter 32

The Dark Lord arrived fashionably late. He wore finer robes than usual, in a distinguished shade of bluish gray, and his hair was falling down to the middle of his back in rich waves. His right arm was linked with a young woman in peach coloured robes.

Adele Whitherspoon was a slender woman of middle height. She wore her shiny brown hair artfully arranged on top of her head. She wore simple silver earrings and instead of a necklace a nearly transparent scarf made from the same fabric that formed the top layer of her robes.

There was, however, one piece of jewellery she wore which caught the attention of every witch and wizard in the room when they entered.

A ring, adorned with a huge diamond, was displayed on her left ring finger.

Lucius, true to his role as host, stepped forward to greet the guests of honour.

"My Lord," he bowed, "welcome to my family's humble home. Your presence is an honour."

"Lucius," the Dark Lord replied graciously, "there's no need to be more formal than usual, my friend. Meet my fiancée, Miss Adele Whitherspoon."

Lucius turned to the young woman. "It is a pleasure to have the woman who captured our Lord's affection in our midst. Welcome to Malfoy Manor, Miss Whitherspoon." He signalled and a house elf stepped forward with a tray of champagne.

More house elves came forth with trays of food for the guests.

Lily was puzzled. So far, the Malfoys had always served full meals at parties. "He requested this," Narcissa leaned closer and whispered under her breath. "He wants more time to dance."

Lily nodded in understanding and reached for a small plate of finger food from one of the trays.

"It's not as bad as I feared. Dobby is good with those little somethings." Narcissa helped herself to a plate, too. "I like what he did with the salmon."

"Where did you get all those house elves? There must be a dozen!" Lily looked around.

"Ten," Narcissa corrected her. "Bella and Marjorie helped me out and Lucius got me one for Christmas. Things will get too much for Dobby with a second child in the house and we need time to train the new elf properly. So far, I didn't dare assign her anything than kitchen duties. She is a good cook though. Excuse me." She hurried to her husband's side when she saw him crane his neck for her.

Lily turned to Marjorie who was chatting with Bellatrix. "I'm glad now that no promise was made for Melpomene," Bella was saying as Lily joined the other women. "It would have been a mistake."

"Rumour has it your sister and Lucius are trying for a girl," said Marjorie. "She'll be closer in age to the Dark Lord's son."

"That may be," agreed Bella, "but my daughter has the same colour of hair our Lord's bride has."

"Are we witches or not," snorted Marjorie. "Whichever features our Lord's son seeks in a woman, he will find it in plenty."

"Did you see her ring?" Lily tried to change topic before Bella got angry with Marjorie. "What a stone!"

"The Koh-i-Noor," Bellatrix smiled knowingly. "He sought our advice for the ring. Rodolphus went to school with young Adele's uncle Hubert."

"The Koh-i-Noor? I thought that one was part of the crown jewels!" Lily gasped.

"That's what the muggles think," Bellatrix replied smugly.

Once the food was consumed, a band started to play and the Dark Lord led the dance. Lily had seen him dance occasionally. She had even danced with him a couple of times since the dark wizard had always made a habit of dancing with his followers wives at their more pleasant gatherings.

This time, however, the man enjoyed himself obviously so much more! He was beaming down at the young woman in his arms as he whirled them around the dance floor. Adele was looking up at her fiancé in admiration.

"What a beautiful couple," Severus remarked as he stepped beside his wife. "Shall we join them?"

Lily nodded and soon the dance floor was crowded with couples.

The children joined the adults a quarter hour to midnight. Introductions were made and pleasantries exchanged. The party stepped out on the patio for the fireworks at midnight. There was more champagne and couples kissed happily as the first colourful sparks announced the New Year.

The Snape family returned to Hogwarts past one in the morning. Lily tucked Darian in while Severus got ready for bed.

"So, what about a daughter," the wizard purred when she joined him a couple of minutes later.

-x-

"Albus, he wants a daughter! This is crazy! What can I do?" Lily was pacing the headmaster's office.

"From what you told me, lots of them want one at the moment," the old wizard said.

"That's beside the point," Lily raged. "I don't care if they all get dozens of babies. At least they'd have something to do beside killing people they don't like. This is about me! I cannot have a child on each side of the war! I cannot have a child on the dark side of this war!"

"You are protected for a couple of years," Albus pointed out.

Lily snorted. "Severus is a potions master. There are antidotes! How long will it take him to find a way around that potion of yours?"

"Then let's hope he doesn't suspect anything," Albus sighed.

"Suspect?" Lily sank down on a chair. "Merlin, what if he suspects something? What if he finds out? What will he do to me if he finds out!"

"Why would he suspect a thing?" Albus said soothingly. "Come, child, let's go. It's time for Darian's lesson."

-x-

When Lily and Albus arrived at the classroom they were using for Darian's training, the boy and Sirius were already waiting for them.

"Is there something the matter?" Sirius whispered to Lily while Albus explained to his pupil the spell they were going to practice that day. "You look worried."

Lily shook her head and looked at her son pointedly.

Sirius understood and didn't press the matter but worry was written over his face whenever he looked at Lily. Once Darian had gotten the hang of the spell, Sirius told Albus he wanted to take Lily outside for a little walk.

The old wizard agreed and they went for a walk around the lake.

"So, what has you worried," Sirius asked once they were out of earshot.

Lily looked around to make sure there were no eavesdroppers. "Severus wants a child," she then confided in Sirius.

"No!" Sirius cried. "I won't allow it!"

Lily laughed mirthlessly. "What can you do? Nothing! Would you chose to interfere, it would put me and Darian in even more danger than we are already in."

The wizard pulled Lily close to him. "If you carried his child, I'd go crazy! I know what you have to do to protect Darian but that… no, Lily!"

"I'm looking for a way to prevent it," Lily sighed and snuggled closer to Sirius. "Do you really think I want a child which will be frowned upon once we've won the war because her father was a dark wizard? I cannot do that to a child! But what can I do?"

Sirius sighed into Lily's hair. "I don't know but we'll find a solution. I promise."

Lily smiled up at the man and when Sirius kissed her gently, she didn't refuse him.


	33. Chapter 33

Severus didn't mention a daughter again over the next two weeks. Only when the potion he had made for Narcissa was ready did he broached the subject again.

"I made enough," he informed Lily as he packed some vials into an ornate little box, "for us to use it, too."

Lily hardly suppressed a gasp. "Severus," she then nagged, "first of all, Darian is nearly five years old, as far as I know we never did anything to prevent another pregnancy and none accured, so what makes you think that we'll be able to have a child here and now. And second, Severus Snape, I will not tell a daughter of mine that she was born only because her father had a spare vial of potion at hand! How dare you!"

Severus shrank back. "You know that it wouldn't be like that! Your accusations are completely unfair! I love Darian and you know that I will love any child we have. It's only that, well, the time is right for a daughter!"

"What?" Lily was close to screaming now. "How dare you tell me you love our children! Look at you planning to bring a little girl into the world as a brood mare for a boy that hasn't even been conceived yet! Merlin, Severus, listen to yourself! They aren't even married yet! He may lose interest in her! And if he doesn't, it may still be years before their first child is born! You know how difficult it is for many in the community to have a child!" Lily drew a breath before she added: "Not everybody is as lucky as us."

Severus sighed. "You are right. It may take them years to have a child. It's just…" he hesitated. "I'd love to have another baby and if it was a little girl with your hair and your eyes, the better. She doesn't have to marry the Dark Lord's son if she doesn't like him." He put the box of vials aside and gathered Lily in his arms. "I will not forbid it if she wants it though."

Lily forced a laugh. "You are impossible." She smacked her husband's arm playfully. "Why don't you bring Narcissa what she's been waiting for so desperately and we talk about it when you are back?"

"As you wish," grinned Severus. He took the box and set out for the fireplace.

Lily smiled weakly. "Oh," she called when Severus was about to step into the flames, "don't mention it may be years until the Dark Lord's son is born, will you?"

Severus laughed and then he was gone.

-x-

There was nothing Lily could do. Severus wanted a daughter. He had the potion. Darian was old enough to no longer provide an excuse why she couldn't take care of another child. It was with a feeling of dread that Lily downed the potion that evening.

"How long will the effect last?" she asked.

"Three months." Severus watched her hungrily as she put the now empty vial on the bedside table.

"We have to be careful then that we don't forget to be careful when time runs out before I conceived," Lily turned to her husband.

The potions master snickered. "Time won't run out. I improved the potion. It now holds a fertility component. Lucius asked me to add one. They had to try for over two years before they had Draco."

"A fertility component?" piped Lily.

"Yes," purred Severus as he rolled towards his wife. "All our wishes will come true in no time at all." He kissed Lily passionately.

-x-

All Lily could do was hope that Albus's contraceptive potion was stronger than Severus's brew. She had no idea what happened to a woman who took both. There could be all kinds of cross reactions after all. The witch snorted as she imagined herself waking with green skin and antlers. Or tentacles! Tentacles would be fun.

Lily woke, however, perfectly healthy with no extra body parts.

Unfortunately she also woke to an excited husband who performed a diagnostic spell on her first thing in the morning.

"Severus!" she slapped his wand hand aside. "I'm not even properly awake!"

"You don't need to be awake for me to check on my daughter," Severus purred.

"What happened to you?" Lily pulled the blanket up to her chin. "You weren't like that with Darian!"

"I was young and scared. I hadn't even thought about children back then." Severus laughed and tried to pull the blanket down. "Now I know what to expect and I'm looking forward to every single minute of it. Now let me do that spell properly. You wiggled and I didn't get proper results."

"I need the loo first," Lily threw the blanket back, over Severus. By the time he had disentangled himself, she had fled from the room. "Come back, spoilsport!" she heard him whine before the door closed.

-x-

A quick spell reassured Lily that she was not pregnant. Albus's potion had won. So far, so good, but what was she to do now? Certainly her potions master husband wasn't going to take a non-working potion lightly.

What a mess!

Lily washed and brushed her teeth, doing everything she could think of to delay her return to the bedroom. She managed to give herself a reprieve of a quarter hour but then she ran out of ideas and with a sigh returned to bed.

"You took your time," Severus remarked.

"It must be the excitement." Lily lay on her back and looked at the wizard expectantly.

"Ah, yes. The spell!"

Severus was crestfallen when it turned out that Lily was not with child.

"We were lucky last time," Lily reminded him. "Did you really expect us to succeed on first try?"

"Since it was I that brewed that potion, and I know its properties and effects, yes, I expected us to succeed on first try. Hm. Maybe the unicorn hair wasn't from a foal as it should have been. But I was sure it was gold not silver!"

"It's difficult to tell with a single hair," Lily pointed out.

Severus sighed. "If I got the wrong hair, I have to start another batch of potion. I'd better notify Lucius." He got up and padded to the living room.

Lily sighed with relief. That had been easier than she expected.

-x-

"Narcissa is pregnant. Lucius was exhilarated."

Severus glanced at Lily who was walking beside him to the Great Hall for breakfast. Darian was skipping a few steps in front of them, oblivious of his mother's distress.

"Then your potion worked!"

"So how come it worked for Lucius but not for me?"

"Are there any components in the potion that need to be adjusted to the drinker? Narcissa is taller than I and therefore probably a little heavier."

"Her build is not different enough from yours to justify the different outcome. She'd have to be twice your weight for it to make a difference."

"Lucius is also taller than you," Lily started.

Severus glared at her angrily. "Are you going to suggest he's better equipped than I?" he snapped.

"Of course not! Don't be childish! I'm trying to be helpful."

"Offending suggestions aren't helpful!"

"I didn't suggest anything!"

"You didn't say it but I heard it! It couldn't have been suggested more clearly!"

"You are being ridiculous!"

"Ah yes, ridiculous impotent me!"

"Severus! There are children around!"

"Well, nice! I'm sure they'd all like to know how their potions master is unable to knock up his wife even when she has had a dose of fertility potion!"

They had reached the Great Hall by then and the students sitting close to the door turned to see what the commotion was about.

"Will you shut up!" Lily hissed through clenched teeth.

"Why? Are you ashamed of me? I thought it was only bad luck." Severus hissed back.

"You are causing a scene!"

"Nice. At least I can cause something."

"Good morning!" Albus greeted them merrily. "How are you today?"

"Thank you, I'm well, Uncle Albus," Darian replied equally happily, oblivious of the quarrel that was going on behind his back. "Mum promised to go down to lake with me later!"

"The lake! Splendid! I've been told the ice is thick enough to allow skating!" Albus beamed at the boy and shot Lily a worried glance. The witch sat beside her son while Severus walked to the end of the table to speak to the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Max Kettleburn.

"Headmaster," Lily said in what she hoped passed as a casual tone for the other teachers, "may I come to your office later today? I'd like to speak about a little project I have in mind."

"Of course, dear child! Why don't you join me for a cup of tea while morning lessons are in session? You can bring your son. Phawkes had a burning day last week and is currently the cutest chick you can imagine."

"A phoenix chick? Oh, can we go look at it, Mum?" Darian asked eagerly and Lily was glad for it gave her a reason to seek out Albus rather sooner than later.

-x-


	34. Chapter 34

Albus showed Darian to his private study where Fawkes sat in a small basket, tweeting softly. The old man showed his young guest a tin of worms and how to feed one to the small bird. Darian was thrilled when Fawkes accepted one from his hand and gave a short song of thanks.

Once the boy was occupied with the chick, the adults returned to the office.

"What is it, Lily?" Albus asked without preamble and Lily told him what had happened the night before, blushing crimson as she shared with her mentor what was supposed to stay between her and her husband.

"And now he's angry at me because he feels I doubt his manliness!" Lily ended her tale.

"That could become a problem," admitted Albus. "There's nothing as dangerous as a man feeling he has to prove his powers."

"I can't have his daughter!" Lily cried. "Do you have any idea what it would mean? If I had a daughter on the dark side of the war, every single action I set would mean choosing one child over the other! How can I give birth to a child knowing I will love her less than the one I already have? What kind of mother would that make me? I can live with being a lousy wife because I can tell myself he brought it upon himself but a baby? How can I blame a baby?"

"The potion I gave you will hold," Albus promised. "It's still efficacious for a couple of years. Severus will eventually give up on the idea of a daughter."

Lily snorted. "How little you know him! Severus is the most stubborn man I know. He will not give up, ever! He will investigate, he will develop new potions if he has to but he will not give up."

"Investigate?" Albus stroked his beard. "Now that could be a problem."

"What? How?"

"Well, there are ways to tell whether somebody has taken a potion. I don't need to explain that to you, do I?"

"You mean that potion you gave me can still be found in my blood?"

"Of course," Albus smiled at Lily. "How else would it work? It is easily overlooked but if he's looking for it…" He looked at the witch in front of him pointedly. "You'd better come up with other excuses for why you don't conceive."

Lily started pacing the office. "Another excuse? But which?"

There was a low cough. Lily whirled around to see who had eavesdropped on their conversation but the office was empty but for her and Albus.

"Yes, Phyllis?" To Lily's surprise Albus looked up at one of the portraits of former headmasters. She had rarely seen one awake; that one would want to talk in her presence was completely unexpected.

"If I may, headmaster," an elderly witch in modest grey robes said softly, "I remember you telling us about dragon pox hitting the school recently. It's not very well known among people other than healers since it is a very rare occurrence but dragon pox can cause difficulties for a woman to conceive."

"Then why aren't people warned?" asked Lily.

The former headmistress called Phyllis made a dismissive gesture. "As I said, it's rare, it doesn't leave the woman infertile and there is a remedy. No need to cause a panic."

"But if the condition can be healed, won't he insist he make the potion in question?"

"Of course, dear child," smiled Phyllis, "but the potion takes long to make. It'd buy you some time."

Lily nodded. "It would make things easier. Thank you, Madam."

The elderly witch gave Lily one last kind smile before she closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

"We have a solution which will give you a little time," sighed Albus, "but we still need to come up with a final solution. If you agree, I will ask within the order for ideas."

Lily didn't feel comfortable with the order members discussing her sex life but she needed help and desperately. She nodded, and they rejoined Darian in the study. Lily watched the boy feed the phoenix for a little while before they returned to the dungeons.

-x-

Severus avoided Lily during his lunch break. Instead of joining her and Darian in their quarters for a quick bite as usual, he went up to the Great Hall for his meal.

Lily didn't mind. The glare the potions master shot her in passing was enough to send less brave people running.

After lunch she sent Darian to his room to play and started planning the conversation she needed to have with her husband later that day.

-x-

"A side effect of dragon pox?" Severus didn't sound convinced but didn't dismiss the idea immediately either. "What gave you the idea?"

"To be honest," Lily looked up at the man from under her lashes, "I confided in Albus after our disagreement at breakfast."

"Albus knows about the effect dragon pox have on women's fertility?" Severus's eye brows rose.

"No," Lily snorted. "You know those portraits of former headmasters and headmistresses? One of them knew."

"So it's true?" Severus sounded hopeful. "There is a side effect like that?"

"I haven't checked," admitted Lily. "But if there is, it would explain a lot. We can ask Poppy."

They went right after dinner. Lily explained the problem to the school nurse while Severus loomed over her. The other witch listened intently.

"You are correct," she said when Lily was done. "It is very rare though. There are potions to counteract the effect."

"If you can refer me to the books needed, I can brew what we need," Severus said hopefully.

"Or," Poppy said, "you can wait for a couple of months. The condition is not permanent and the potions in question require very rare and expensive ingredients. To be honest, I don't think the short period of time you gain justifies the expense."

"How long?" Severus asked.

Poppy shrugged. "It depends on the individual. Taking into account that the dragon pox happened two months ago already, hmmmmm, I'd guess another two or three months. Up to five wouldn't be unheard of but I expect less."

Lily could have kissed the mediwitch there and then. Poppy had just bought her three months! Perhaps even more! Maybe, just maybe, the Order found a way to help her until then!

-x-

Narcissa was thrilled about how quick the potion worked for her. The Snapes were invited to visit the following weekend.

Darian was happy because Draco was still his best friend and they couldn't play as often as the boys would have liked. Severus was looking forward to a proper gentlemen's afternoon and Lily was looking forward to a chat with Narcissa.

As soon as they arrived, the party split up into three. The boys went to Draco's room, supervised by Dobby. The men retreated to the library, and Lily and Narcissa went to the conservatory where Dolly, the new house elf, served them tea and sandwiches.

"I couldn't believe it," beamed Narcissa, "when Lucius performed that spell on me and I was pregnant mere hours after I had taken the potions! I can't even start to tell you how grateful I am. When we were trying for Draco, it took forever! It's often difficult for purebloods, so it was what I was expecting but the desire to give my husband an heir and being unable to do so nearly killed me! I felt so … inadequate; as if I was not good enough for him."

"Narcissa," Lily put her tea cup aside. "Never, for even the tiniest moment were you inadequate for Lucius. Everybody can see that he worships the ground you walk on! You are everything he ever wanted in a wife. You are of old blood, powerful, beautiful, dedicated to your duties as the Lady of his house, what more could he ask for?"

"He has everything he wants now," admitted the other witch, "but he wished for an heir as badly as I longed to give him one. And do not make a mistake! Lucius loves me dearly but he wouldn't have put that love before his duty to his House. He wouldn't have let the Malfoy line end. If I hadn't given him a son in due time, he'd have divorced me, no matter how much he loved me."

"I can't believe that." Lily shook her head. "I've seen you together."

Narcissa smiled. "He'd, of course, have suffered dearly but he would have done it. And I, being in love with him, would have accepted the place of his mistress just to be near him. But," she added cheerfully, "we have Draco and everything is as it should be. And soon," she rubbed her belly lovingly, "we'll have a little princess who will wrap her Daddy around her little finger and everything will be even better. I'm so excited!"

-x-


	35. Chapter 35

Author's note: I changed the rating. There's nothing graphic or explicit but better be safe than sorry.

_Now on with the story..._

February was nearing its end when Severus was called to a meeting not the usual way but by Lucius firecalling. The blond let Severus know that he was supposed to bring Lily.

"He ordered me to tell everybody to bring their spouses. I don't know what this is about but it must be something big!"

Lily had barely time to ask Pomona to look after Darian before she shrugged on the traditional robes Severus was holding out for her. The potions master was already dressed in black robes which were not only traditional but outright old-fashioned.

When they arrived at the Malfoys' biggest ballroom, there was already a big crowd assembled. The Dark Lord was not there yet and from the snippets of conversation Lily caught, nobody had an idea why they had been called on short notice and in such big a number.

The riddle was solved the moment the dark wizard made his appearance.

Lord Voldemort was wearing richly embroidered dress robes and clung to his right arm was young Adele, wearing equally resplendent robes in white. They both wore what unmistakably were wedding rings.

"Welcome, my dear friends!" The Dark Lord led his new wife to the spot he usually occupied in the circle of his followers. "I have called you here to share wonderful news with you. May I present you Mrs Adele Voldemort!"

The assembled crowd clapped politely. When the applause died down, Lucius stepped forward.

"My Lord," he bowed, "had we known the importance of today's meeting, I would have had a feast prepared in honour of the delightful occasion!"

The Dark Lord made a dismissive gesture. "I know you would, Lucius, but we had a reception at my wife's parents' house for her family and I really can't stomach two batches of traditional wedding food. No, my friend, I called you here for the entertainment."

He signalled and a group of low level death eaters brought forth a dozen bound people. Muggles, Lily suspected. Most of them were young girls but there were also a couple of men.

Lily blanched. Did this mean what she thought it meant? Had the Dark Lord really THAT planned for the occasion of his nuptials? Was he really expecting his young bride to consider THIS entertainment?

Her question was answered when she saw Adele lean a little forward eagerly to see better. There was an unmistakable glint of greed in her eyes. Adele was not only going to consider this entertainment. She was going to consider this great entertainment.

Lily, on the other hand, had no idea how she was going to live through what was certain to come without giving away how disgusted she was. She had merely seconds to brace herself.

The deatheaters knew how the game worked. It was like watching a cruel ballet as one after the other stepped forward to contribute a spell. It started small with tiny cuts and ripped clothes but soon the ballroom was filled with terrible screams, and the deatheaters let go of their tight control and indulged in a game of who could come up with the cruelest piece of torture.

Lily noticed that many of the deatheaters' wives were hardly keeping their disgust from showing. Only few seemed to enjoy the show, and only two contributed to the torture of the hapless muggles. Bellatrix Lestrange and the new Mrs Voldemort cast spell after spell and only withdrew when the men put aside their wands and chose more solid ways of abuse.

It went on for hours and all Lily could do was watch as her husband partook in cursing, beating and raping their victims. When the last muggle, a black haired woman about Lily's age, fell silent after a stab performed by Lucius, the Dark Lord gathered his new wife close and kissed her passionately. They disappeared with a crack in mid-kiss, and the meeting was over.

The gathered crowd left without many words of good-bye. Most of the assembled deatheaters had appointments to keep in the morning and they left it to Lucius to have the mess cleaned up. Many of them looked at their wives hungrily and one look into Severus's eyes told Lily that her husband was far from exhausted.

They returned to their dungeons quarters. Lily tiptoed to Darian's room and was glad to find it empty. Severus was still high on adrenaline and she was not sure she was going to survive the rest of the night without being sick, which she was sure her husband would not take well.

-x-

The morning found Lily tired and sore but she couldn't stand staying in their quarters any longer, so she went to Pomona's rooms near the kitchens to pick up Darian. The boy was very excited because the kind Herbology teacher had let him help replant sneezewort.

Lily thanked the other witch and took her son to the Great Hall for breakfast. They met Severus there who was in a good mood that morning. Lily was disgusted. She was glad that one of Darian's lessons with Albus was scheduled for after lunch. If she couldn't talk to somebody who understood how she felt and who would listen when she worded her discomfort without using it against her, she was going to go crazy.

The witch took Darian for a walk down to the lake while morning lessons were in session. She needed the distraction and the boy could do with the fresh air.

The lesson was one on Transfiguration. Minerva helped Albus with the actual teaching. Halfway through the lesson, Sirius arrived to see his favourite godson and his mother.

The four adults engaged Darian in a competition. They started with a small red ball and the competitors had to transfigure the object at hand into a different toy whenever it was their turn. Darian was a beginner at Transfiguration and it still came hard to him but he held his ground cleverly by choosing to make only small changes.

When the boy showed signs of fatigue, Albus declared the lesson a success and Minerva took the child to the Transfiguration office to give him some of her famous ginger biscuits as a reward.

"So, child, what has you so distracted?" Albus asked without preamble when the door had closed on Darian.

Lily sighed and raised her hands to cover her face. "It was dreadful," she whispered.

Somebody – Albus – conjured a sofa and tea, and Sirius helped Lily sit down. "Tell us," he encouraged softly.

And Lily told them.

The two men paled as she gave them detail after detail after horrible detail. She shared everything, the spells, the screams, the blood, the deaths. At some point, Albus looked into her mind for images of the victims' faces to enable them to identify them. Not far into her tale, Sirius slipped his arms around Lily's shoulders and she leaned on him heavily.

By the time she reached the point where she and Severus had returned to Hogwarts, Lily was sobbing and Sirius was petting her hair in a futile attempt to comfort her.

When Lily was done with her story, Sirius offered to set out to kill Severus there and then but Lily refused of course.

Albus offered the woman another cup of tea. Lily smelled the calming draught the tea was spiked with but she didn't say anything. Grateful, she downed the hot liquid and let the potion do its magic.


	36. Chapter 36

**Author's note:** _Yesterday I had a look at my story stats and it came to my attention that the first story I posted on this site, Pawns, gets shamefully few views. Maybe, if I point out to you that it's one of my favourites, somebody wants to go and have a look at it? Reviews are welcome._

_Now on with this one:_

"I knew he was doing dreadful things," said Albus when Lily had calmed down, "but not even in my worst nightmares would I have guessed the true extent of the evil Severus is ready to do!"

"I never understood why you let him near your students." Sirius was still holding Lily.

Albus defended himself. "I had to. Severus is Lily's ticket to Voldemort's circle. We've saved dozens of lives thanks to the information we got from her."

"I told you repeatedly that this whole spying business is too dangerous for Lily. Just look at what she had to go through only yesterday! One wrong gesture, one wrong look, and she would have become one of the victims instead of a witness; and let's not forget that even with her clever acting she didn't escape unhurt. Do you know what it was in my book that happened to her when they returned to the castle? Do I really need to tell you?"

"I know," Albus replied tiredly. "And I wish I knew of a way to spare Lily but I don't find it in me to tell my only means of keeping people safe, of knowing about their attacks in advance, to stop. I just can't."

"And I wouldn't want you to, Albus," Lily chimed in. "When James and Harry died, I died with them. There was nothing left to live for but to avenge them. I needed the idea of doing something useful and good in order to go on with my life back then and although I have found a new purpose in life in Darian, I still need the thought that I work to bring that monster down. I need it, Sirius, as much as I need the air that I breathe. If I retreat and let him continue, he has won. And if he wins, I'm dead. Can you understand that?"

Sirius nodded. "I can on an intellectual level but it's difficult to accept how far you have to go to get the information."

They sat in silence for a while and the two men let Lily calm down further. All too soon it was time to return to the dungeons.

"How was your day? You look tired," Severus greeted his wife when she followed her son into the dungeon quarters.

"It was late yesterday," Lily replied evasively.

"Indeed," Severus grinned, "but what a night! He knows how to throw a party!"

Lily snorted and proceeded to ask the Hogwarts house elves for dinner in their quarters. "It was not what I would have expected for a wedding reception."

"Lucius mailed earlier. It seems that it was the bride who wanted that kind of party and the Dark Lord didn't deny her. He's very enamoured with her. And why wouldn't he! She's all a man can wish for."

"You were at a wedding?" asked Darian as he helped himself to a portion of shepherd's pie.

"Only at the party after the ceremony; it was a very short notice invitation," Lily told the child kindly.

"What a pity! I'd have loved to see a wedding party!"

"It wasn't for children, dearie," said Lily. "It was an adult party."

"But you can come when you are a little older," promised Severus.

Lily raised her goblet in order to hide her look of disgust. If she had to kill Severus personally to prevent it, her son was never going to such a party. Never!

-x-

The weeks up to Easter were quiet. There were no deatheater meetings and barely any attacks. The Dark Lord seemed to have gone on a lengthy honey moon and his followers enjoyed their time with their families. There were a couple of attacks on order members, Sirius was attacked as well as the Vance family, but they were poorly organised and easily repelled.

Lily spent a lot of time at the greenhouses with Pomona and she accompanied Hagrid to the forest several times. Severus was glad for the potion ingredients she brought him from her excursions.

Darian's training went well. The boy showed talent with Charms which was why Albus put the main emphasize of his lessons on that but he also got a hang of Transfiguration. Minerva wouldn't allow him to try any difficult tasks but urged him to try and be quicker with what he could do already.

Although Transfiguration was not easy for him, Darian loved the subject. He was ready to practice a lot and work hard. Minerva was proud that the young boy had chosen her area of expertise as his favourite magic for the time being.

Severus didn't bring up the baby question again, seemingly content with waiting out the aftermath of the dragon pox. Instead he spent at least one evening per week with Darian, teaching him the basics of brewing. Darian didn't like the subject much. The preparation of ingredients was tedious work if you wanted to do it properly and the boy didn't have the patience for that. Lily tried to point out to her husband that Darian was too young to spend hours dicing and slicing but Severus wouldn't hear of it.

Lily tried to distract the potions master from the lessons with his son by bringing him more potions ingredients from the forest. She even used her walks to the lake with her son to collect water plants and animals at the shore.

In early March, Hagrid's old dog, Claw, died. The gameskeeper was devastated at first but then Albus brought a boarhound puppy to the castle and gave it to the half giant. The new dog was named Fang and Darian was invited to come and play with the puppy whenever he wanted in order to give the dog a chance to get used to children.

The boy made use of the invitation on a daily basis and Lily accompanied him to Hagrid's hut every day. She loved her conversations with Hagrid. The man's view on things was often simple but always accurate.

The best part was that Hagrid had known James and Harry and enjoyed talking about them. Other than with most people, talking about James and Harry never involved remembering their deaths and how Lily must feel devastated but it was a merry exchange of little stories, of little occasions where James had said this or that or Harry had done something funny. The stories often featured Sirius and Remus who had visited frequently. Stories about how Peter had visited were avoided and if one came up it was usually one where James had played a prank on the small man.

Darian listened from his spot in front of the fireplace where he played with Fang and little by little got to know his big brother and father.

It was good to visit Malfoy Manor for the sole purpose of giving Darian a chance to play with Draco. Lucius had used a lot of effort, time and magic to control the weather conditions in part of the garden in order to give his pregnant wife a chance to take walks without having to fear the cold or slippery ground. Lily and Narcissa walked down the path to an ornate gazebo.

The boys played with Draco's new training snitch nearby. Dobby and Dolly watched over the boys. Lily could see Dobby click his fingers from time to time, undoubtedly demonstrating to the less experienced elf what to do to keep the children safe.

"I'm really glad we have him," said Narcissa, guessing Lily's thoughts. "He's good with Draco and his friends and he's taking the task of training Dolly very serious. First he was offended when Lucius got her, thought we were unhappy with his work. It took us quite some time to convince him he was not getting clothes."

Lily smiled. "I can tell how much he loves his job."

The both watched in silence for a while before Narcissa shared the latest news about her little niece, Melpomene. Lily thought sadly that she could have shared news about the blonde's other niece, Nymphodora, who had turned out to have great talent with handling magical creatures recently, but Narcissa wouldn't want to hear about the kind Hufflepuff girl.

-x-

The Dark Lord made an appearance at the Malfoys' Easter reception. His wife looked radiant and was showing off proudly an unmistakable baby bump.

"Twins," the Dark Lord informed Lucius when their blond host extended congratulations on behalf of the assembled guests. "There were no potions involved, only pure magic. But I see that I'm not the only one to look forward to fatherhood." He looked at Narcissa pointedly who was standing by Lucius side.

"A daughter," Lucius confirmed. "I was hesitant to make Draco share his family's attention but Narcissa begged so prettily I couldn't deny her." He turned to his wife and raised her fingers to peck them courteously.

The Dark Lord nodded approvingly. "I see that many have taken a leaf out of your book," he let his gaze wander around the room where many deatheaters' wives were showing signs of early pregnancy. "Good! Our children will need playmates."

Later that evening, Severus brought up the baby issue again. All Lily could do was agree to try for one and hope that Albus' potion still worked.

-x-


	37. Chapter 37

As April passed into May, Severus grew more and more impatient about the baby issue. Lily was glad that Albus' potion prevented what she considered the a catastrophe but a small part of her wished that she become pregnant already just to shut her husband up. Had Severus been patient in the beginning he was now showing open disappointment and he was not dealing well with it.

Severus being Severus, he put the entire fault for the lack of successful baby-making on Lily. Of course it was true, because Lily had taken the potion and didn't want his baby, but that was no valid reason to accuse her in Lily's book. Severus didn't know what she and Albus had done and therefore his accusations were completely unfounded!

They quarrelled frequently. Lily stood her ground as well as she could but she was fearful that Severus would take out his frustration on Darian and therefore was very careful not to enrage her husband more than absolutely necessary.

May turned into June and Lily and Darian were busy trying to come up with the perfect birthday gift for Draco, when Severus announced that they were going to Malfoy Manor immediately.

"Has something happened, Severus?" Lily asked, worried.

The man didn't deign her with an answer and instead pushed Darian to the floo. Lily followed without asking any further questions. She was going where Darian was going; that much was certain.

They were greeted by Lucius Malfoy who was waiting for them by the fireplace. "What is it that you need to discuss so urgently, my friend," the blond shook hands with Severus.

"Where is Draco? I brought Darian along hoping they could play a bit." The potions master looked at Lucius pointedly and the blond called a house elf with a click of his fingers. It was Dolly who appeared and bowed deeply. The small elf took Darian's hand and led him out of the library to show him where Draco was, informing the boy that her young master was in the garden, picking flowers for his mother.

"Draco's so excited about getting a little sister," Lucius said with a soft smile. "He spoils Narcissa rotten in his own way. I had to hire a gardener to replace what he picks for her every day or there'd be no flowers left."

Severus chuckled but then grew serious. "Can we talk now? Is he here?"

Lucius nodded. "He's not thrilled about being called away from home," he informed his fellow deatheater. "Whatever you want, it'd better be important."

Lily felt a shudder run down her spine. The Dark Lord was here? Severus had asked for his presence? What was this about? She hadn't been this scared in years. Every fibre of her body told her to run but she knew that running would only bring trouble, possibly even death.

Feeling like a lamb following her master to slaughter, Lily trudged after Severus as he and Lucius led the way to the ballroom where meetings were usually held.

The Dark Lord was sitting in an armchair, looking out at patio and the garden through the magnificent doors that took up most of one side of the room.

The two men walked around the dark wizard and knelt in front of him. "My Lord!" Severus bowed low. "I did not disturb you light-heartedly. Something outrageous has come to my attention." He bowed even lower.

"Speak!"

"We have a traitor among us!"

"A traitor?" The Dark Lord drawled, caressing each syllable as he uttered it.

"A traitor, my Lord!" Severus glanced up at the man from under his lashes. "And I am afraid it is my own wife."

"How dare you!" cried Lily.

"Explain, Severus," ordered the Dark Lord, ignoring Lily.

"We have tried for a child since Christmas," Severus said and he sounded bitter. "At least that was what I thought we were doing. But in spite of the fertility potions I brewed we didn't succeed. Last night I took some of Lily's blood and analyzed it. I was searching for traces of an illness. She claimed that the dragon pox prevented her from conceiving. I was hoping to be able to find a cure."

"But you found something else," the Dark Lord leaned forward eagerly.

"I found a contraceptive potion, and a powerful one. She lied to me! And if she lied to me, my Lord, we must doubt her loyalty to our cause, too! She's a traitor, my Lord!"

"What kind of husband are you!" Lily cried, outraged and ignoring the accusations her husband had uttered. "You take my blood by night like a thief? Why didn't you ask me? I'd have gladly given you whatever you deemed necessary! Haven't the vows we made meant anything to you?"

Severus looked up at Lily coldly. "Don't try and blame me for your disloyalty!"

"I wasn't disloyal," Lily finally addressed the issue. "I don't know about a potion. All potions I have taken since our wedding came from you. Apart from the medication I took during the dragon pox epidemic I got them from your own hand."

"Don't lie to me," the potions master snarled. He fell silent when the Dark Lord raised his hand.

The dark wizard turned to Lily and motioned at her to come closer. He stood when Lily approached him. The witch cleared her mind. Never had it been more important for her occlumency to be good enough. Lily banned her fear to the back of her mind and instead projected an image of trust in the Dark Lord to find her loyal and tell Severus that his accusations were unfounded. The strongest emotion she let show was her anger at her husband for not trusting her.

The Dark Lord dived into Lily's mind, looking at memories at leisure. Lily controlled carefully what she let him see: tucking Darian in lovingly, helping Pomona with her project on desert plants from Eastern Asia, tea with Albus, looking at Severus appreciatively as he came to the bedroom his chest still sparkling with droplets of water after a shower, chatting with Narcissa, more tea with Albus.

The Dark Lord left Lily's mind and touched her cheek softly. "She didn't betray us, Severus," he announced his verdict. "She has tea with Dumbledore frequently. I suspect he spiked her cup with the potion."

"Why would he do that?" Lily asked the dark wizard. "Why would he want to prevent me from having more children?"

"You were important for his little group before our Severus stole you away. Each child you have with Severus strengthens your connection with us, child. Dumbledore must hope to turn you back to his society of losers."

"How dare he!" Lily acted outraged.

"Stay calm, child," the Dark Lord said almost lovingly. "Now that we know what has been done, Severus can brew an antidote."

"I will start the brewing immediately," Severus hurried to reassure Lily.

Lily turned to the potions master and snorted. "Whatever for? Do you really think that you are getting anywhere near me after what you have done? Think again!"

"Lily!" Severus scrambled to his feet from his still kneeling position.

"Don't you Lily me!"

"But… Why can't you see? What I did I did for our cause and our Lord!"

"And you think anybody will believe that? You could have confronted me before you took this in front of our Lord! But no, you assumed the worst thing! You are a petty little man, Severus! – My Lord, may I be excused? I'm afraid I'll do something I regret later if I have to stay in his presence any longer. I need time to calm down."

"Go, Lily, I will send him along in a while," the Dark Lord smiled at her kindly.

Lily hinted a bow and hurried back out of the room and out in the garden to pick up her son. She met the boys after mere moments. They were holding a bunch of flowers each and were chatting animatedly.

"Mum," squealed Darian. "Look what I got for you!" He held out pink roses and white lilies to Lily. Draco's bouquet consisted of roses in various colours.

"They are beautiful," Lily smiled. "We have to return to Hogwarts. Draco, tell your mother we will visit again soon. I'm sorry I don't have time to chat with her."

The blond boy promised to give the message to his mother and Lily took Darian back through the floo.

As soon as they had arrived at the castle, she set out for Albus's office. They needed to talk and quickly.


	38. Chapter 38

_Author's note: I'm sorry it took so long. Real life is extremely busy without hope for a change within the next two weeks. I'll try to update as often as I can. I really wish I had more time for this story._

The headmaster ordered tea when they arrived. Somehow he must have notified Minerva – Lily was not sure how – because the old witch arrived barely two minutes after Lily and asked whether Darian wanted to see the kittens she had acquired for her NEWT students to practice with. The boy agreed eagerly and off they were.

"What has you so distraught?" Albus asked without preamble.

Instead of an answer, Lily looked him in the eye and lowered her occlumency shields. The headmaster hesitated but when she nodded he accepted the invitation and dived into the proffered memory.

"That was close," he whispered when he resurfaced. "You were lucky to make it out of there alive."

"If his mood had been worse," Lily agreed, "I'd be dead; and Darian was at Malfoy Manor, too! I'm so scared!"

"You did well in blaming me. I'm the only one he can't get his hands on in order to check whether you showed him the truth."

Lily snorted. "If he suspected that I didn't, he'd have killed me without bothering to check anything. As if he had ever needed proof! Oh Albus! Now Severus will brew that antidote and I … oh no!"

"I'm afraid there's not much we can do," Albus sighed. "Your husband bought your story because his Lord did. Taking another potion or using a spell would be too dangerous."

Lily hung her head in misery. "I know," she whispered.

"The antidote takes more than a week to brew," Albus said soothingly, "and some of the ingredients are really rare. I can try to make it hard for Severus to acquire them all but it will only buy some time. In the end he will succeed."

"I'm grateful for every single day you can buy me," Lily whispered.

The old wizard smiled sadly. "I'm sorry that I cannot do more. You shouldn't be in this situation."

"I told you how I feel. I need to continue spying in order to feel useful. I have to play an active role in the fight against the monsters."

"I know. That's why I'm not offering to help you leave and hide away."

-x-

When Lily and Darian returned to the dungeons, Severus was already back from Malfoy Manor.

"Look, Lily," the potions master said, "I'm sorry. I misinterpreted my findings."

Lily glared at the man coldly. "So, you are sorry. You steal my blood, you jump to wrong conclusions and instead of at least talking to me first, you drag me in front of the Dark Lord and accuse me of treason. And then you say you are sorry and think that's it?" She snorted. "You disgust me!" Without further ado, she stalked into the bedroom, grabbed Severus's pillow and blanket shoved them at the man when she returned to the living room. "You are no longer welcome in my bed. Sleep where you see fit. I do not care."

"Lily!" protested Severus. "You can't chuck me out of our room!"

The red haired witch sneered at the man. "But I just did! – Come, Darian, let's go to the Great Hall and see what is for dinner!"

-x-

Severus went out of his way to make things up with Lily. He brought her flowers, served her breakfast in bed – which was quite a feature seeing that she had put up a spell to prevent him from entering; he had to levitate the tray from the door – hid small gifts for her to find and begged for her forgiveness whenever there was a quiet minute for them to speak in private.

Lily milked the incident for what she could in order to postpone the baby issue but after a week she had to give in. Severus was gracefully allowed back to his bed and when he gave her a silver locket with his and Darian's pictures in it, she couldn't find a valid reason why to deny him his welcome in her arms.

-x-

Albus was true to his word and occupied his potions instructor with extra requests to brew this and that. Twice he stopped the younger wizard from going shopping by changing proctoring schedules last minute and once he even went so far to call for him because he thought he was suffering of poisoning.

Severus clenched his fists and stomped up to the hospital wing to give his expertise on poisons instead of going to Diagon Alley to shop for potions ingredients.

This way May turned into June. The students left for their summer holidays and there was no more excuse to keep Severus at the castle.

On the contrary. The Snape family moved to Spinner's End for the holidays – Lily was very unhappy about it but Severus insisted – and Severus was finally free to do as he wanted. He took Lily and Darian to Diagon Alley the very first day after they had arrived home.

Darian was excited because his birthday was close and he hoped they were going for his presents. He pulled his father from shop window to shop window and Severus allowed it. They looked at books and toys and Quidditch equipment. Lily made mental notes on what her son liked most and forgot about potion ingredients for a while.

Only at the end of the trip did they go to the apothecary's. Severus gave the shop assistant a list of what he needed. The young man brought jars and flasks and bags to the counter for Severus to examine, and at last had to admit that they were out of puffapod root and were expecting a shipment only in August.

Severus was livid but there was nothing to be done. "You call this customer service?" he snarled angrily as he left an order for what he needed. "I'm the potions master of Hogwarts school and I seriously doubt that you have more important customers than Hogwarts school!"

"Hogwarts?" beamed the shop assistant, a youth with chestnut hair and lots of freckles. "But then this may be but a mere misunderstanding! It was headmaster Dumbledore who bought our entire stock of puffapod roots only this morning!"

Severus snorted. "That old coot!" he muttered under his breath as he placed the galleons for his purchase on the counter. Lily could tell that her husband was outraged but he wouldn't show in public just how irate he actually was.

"How dare the old prat interfere with my plans for my family!" Severus raged when they arrived home. "He has no right!"

Lily sent Darian to the garden before she spoke with her husband. "Please calm down," she pleaded with him. "You're going to scare our son!"

"I need to vent," Severus huffed but Lily could see that he was making an effort to relax. "I'll visit Lucius. That way Darian will not see me." Lily nodded in agreement.

Severus returned home late that day. He looked tired but relaxed and reeked of blood.

-x-

The summer was spent with lessons – Severus insisted on teaching Darian potions – and deatheater meetings. Lily was required to partake only once, the rest of the meetings were spent with Narcissa and other deatheater wives. Since they had small children with them, they mostly met in the garden or in one of the parlours far from the ballroom in order to prevent the little ones from hearing any screams.

Lily's highlight of the holidays was Darian's birthday party at the Manor. The boy was five now. He and Draco – who had turned seven in June – were still best friends. It didn't matter that the older boy was taller by a head and far more advanced in his education. On the contrary, Draco loved to pass on what he had learned to Darian. More than once during the summer, they came to Lily and Narcissa and asked questions Darian had come up with. The younger boy was quick on the uptake and a diligent learner. He often asked for details which Draco had overlooked.

As August neared its end, the invitations to the manor became fewer because Narcissa was nearing the end of her pregnancy and needed a lot of rest. A simple walk in the garden was exhausting for her now and Lucius was nervous every time she went for one because there were a couple of stone steps she had to walk down in order to leave the patio.

Lily didn't mind. Lucius was a very attentive husband and anxious father to be – although he'd never admit that he was worried for his little daughter whom he was still claiming to only put up with to please Narcissa – and was at Narcissa's side all the time. It was touching to see but definitely a killer for all girl talk.

Severus took the family back to Hogwarts a fortnight before school started. He went to Diagon Alley for the supplies needed for the new school year and looked very pleased with himself when he returned.

"I've got the puffapod roots," he explained without Lily having to ask. "I'll start to brew right away."

-x-


End file.
